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Married switch M, looking for Domme/Mistress

chiquitito said:
I'm not trying to discourage you, but rather to offer the benefit of my experience from being at it a couple of decades longer than you have. You may find exactly the Domme/Mistress you want, and you may find her today, but the odds are against it. It helps that you are very flexible on requirements, and you are actively seeking and not just hoping someone will just show up out of the blue - only happens in porn, with very rare exception.

The basic challenge or problem is that the supply of men seeking what you are seeking vastly exceeds the demand of women for such men. Bottom line, you're probably going to have to pay for it.

Even then, most professional Dommes/Mistresses are not nearly as authentic as they claim. Even if you are willing to pay for it, and you can do so legally very easily (tribute, not payment, and no-sexual-acts rule at the outset), most will be going through the motions. They're like the restaurants with huge menus that don't cook any of the dishes particularly well. Those practitioners who are internally motivated to deliver what you are seeking are few and far between. You're going to have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your dungeon Mistress.

Online? Most of those who claim to be what you are seeking will be men posing as women. The male sub vs. female Domme imbalance for online play is even greater than what you will find in real life, in three dimensions in your local area.

I think it's a uphill battle, but you're in it, and you may prevail. I genuinely wish you luck and success.
Click to expand...
Thank you. And yes, I am well aware of how unlikely it is that I will find what I am looking for. I may still be (fairly) young, but I have been around for quite some time, lol. Longer than I should've been, hahaha. And I am also aware of "women" that are really men. But, I figure a long shot is better than no shot! Thank you again for the well wishes!
 
chiquitito said:
I'm not trying to discourage you, but rather to offer the benefit of my experience from being at it a couple of decades longer than you have. You may find exactly the Domme/Mistress you want, and you may find her today, but the odds are against it. It helps that you are very flexible on requirements, and you are actively seeking and not just hoping someone will just show up out of the blue - only happens in porn, with very rare exception.

The basic challenge or problem is that the supply of men seeking what you are seeking vastly exceeds the demand of women for such men. Bottom line, you're probably going to have to pay for it.

Even then, most professional Dommes/Mistresses are not nearly as authentic as they claim. Even if you are willing to pay for it, and you can do so legally very easily (tribute, not payment, and no-sexual-acts rule at the outset), most will be going through the motions. They're like the restaurants with huge menus that don't cook any of the dishes particularly well. Those practitioners who are internally motivated to deliver what you are seeking are few and far between. You're going to have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your dungeon Mistress.

Online? Most of those who claim to be what you are seeking will be men posing as women. The male sub vs. female Domme imbalance for online play is even greater than what you will find in real life, in three dimensions in your local area.

I think it's a uphill battle, but you're in it, and you may prevail. I genuinely wish you luck and success.
Click to expand...
It's definitely difficult to find but there's definitely a lot of "real" Dommes out there (whatever real Domme means honestly). One of the issues though is that they rarely flag so publically because they get so many PMs from random weirdos. I've found several Dommes
 
Hi! Your post has me intrigued and kind of given me an idea… I am usually the sub within my dynamics… more of a brat, so some would say I’m not a “real” sub. My last partner and I did switch a few times and I have been craving that feeling again… I don’t feel that I have the knowledge or experience to fully be considered a mistress, so I totally understand if this isn’t for you, but, maybe I was thinking maybe you can kind of mentor me a little bit and kind of teach me things while you being on the sub side of things… I’m not sure if that’s a thing, your post just gave me the idea because I’m looking for the same thing, just backwards and I’m not super experienced in the dominant side of things because I haven’t had the opportunity. I don’t know if that sounds stupid, but what do I have to loose by throwing it out there lol. So about me, I’m 35, 5’3”, 145lbs, I’m small, but I have a mom bod that went through 3 c-sections, I am also a grandma and a full-time+ employee (I’m on call 24/7) so my hours can get crazy with work so I’m understanding on that side of things too… let me know what you think… talk soon
 
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