Married Posters

[Looking4Fun46]

New can be interesting

I beleive there are a lot of married people out there that share our frustrations and feelings. Just hard to find that person close to you that wants a "special friend". People change as they grow older and it is hard to tell if our spouses have changed that much or have we. Have we just become bored with our spouses? When you are with somebody for 15-20 years it is hard to keep things exciting and interesting but it is also hard to throw away that comfort level. You have to admit, getting to know somebody, finding out their likes and dislikes, learning new things from each other is exciting and having somebody new desire you makes you feel a lot younger inside. I know it would put an extra step in my walk. lol. Just think back to that first kiss, that first caress and remember how much you really enjoyed it no matter your age. I think most people limit themselves to just fantasizing and are too scared to explore outside their marriage. I just hope that when I really am old and no woman is going to look at me with desire in her eyes anymore, I do not look back with regrets that I passed up on something because I was too scared. Just my thoughts. Hope everybody is having a great evening.

for the ladies

 

[Looking4Fun46]

Re: Re: Re: Long time lurker

This is where my; internal conflicts seem to leave me. It sounds hypocritical, yet it seems like a reasonable compromise between rectitude and all-out cheating.
But is it realistic to think you can stop there?

Do you really want to stop it there? Can you really be satisfied with only your own touch and not the touch of another?

 

[maniac1967]

No, the wife doesn't know I'm on here.

I find her attractive and sexy, but there's just never really been any sex.

She tried a few months ago to start using flavored condoms - which she liked - but then stopped doing it.

Her problem, methinks, is how she handles things she's not sure about. She normally just tries to forget it and concentrate on something else.

She's been getting diagnosed for possible LD - at age 37, you think she'd have discovered that by now, right? - but (surprise) she hasn't followed up on it.

It also doesn't help that we work different shifts (her first, me third).

I guess I stopped trying to look at this place as a potential hook-up aid, but at least the stories and the thread titles keep me distracted.

Okay, that's it for the pity party, sorry...

 

['Ol Tex]

"Special Friend"??

To: Fun1269u; MrMikelobe1952 and Looking4fun46------- Those are great comments guys, from all three of y'all. Each view touching the same subject yet coming from different perspectives. When (women) see a post about a MARRIED man seeking a "special friend", I am sure their first reaction, albeit a knee-jerk one, is, "aha, another man who wants his cake and eat it too"!!!! But they can't be further from the truth, (in most of our cases). In my case, briefly mentioned earlier, I DO LOVE my wife and DO NOT want to "cheat" on her but........(and there is always a "but" right?), but, this once playful and even closet flasher who, at one time, could give "out of this world head", has , for reasons even she can't explain, has no interest in sex at all!!! It could be the "change" I suppose. (she is 49). She won't go to counseling. She won't even "girl talk" about it with friends yet, I am supposed to exist on an ocassional hand job??? Except for no sex, she is darn good in most other areas. The only problem in our marriage (to me), is the lack of sexual emotion. I think the male hormone in us requires approval from females and if, (for whatever reason), we do not get it from our mates then we tend to seek out "special friends". The thought of "hitting on women" is not pleasureable to me but, (there's that "but" again), but I miss not only sex from my wife but also ANY contact that she no longer provides!! I feel like I am living with a cousin or something for gosh sakes!!! So condemn us if you will ladies but, (damn but again), being "ignored" is akin to being "dead"!!!! Opinions from women would be appreciated. I do not think the gentlemen that have spoken here are guys that just want a "quickie". We have emotions and feelings and can give pleasure in a myriad of ways. Ways that only a "SPECIAL FRIEND" could know. 'ol tex.

 

[_pebbles]

I find it interesting that a good number of men here are posting as if no women are posting in this thread at all. Honestly, if you can't take to the time to read, I doubt you'll give the time in real life to communicate on a deep level with a woman in similar circumstances.

I see that most men are 10-15 years older than me, yet I've been married as long as they have. Most men my age (32) are either single and think my desires are *slutty* or they are early in their marriage and struggling to get their footing communicating their sexual desires to their wives. I'd love to find a man my age in real life who is prepared to have an ongoing friendship. I won't hold my breath!

 

[Remec]

I see that most men are 10-15 years older than me, yet I've been married as long as they have. Most men my age (32) are either single and think my desires are *slutty* or they are early in their marriage and struggling to get their footing communicating their sexual desires to their wives. I'd love to find a man my age in real life who is prepared to have an ongoing friendship. I won't hold my breath!

Careful, you seem too nice to turn all blue and pass out and stuff...<smile>

I've just come across this thread, I think...sometimes similar threads blur when you don't read a specific forum constantly...but it seems interesting enough that I may have to see about going back and reading it more thoroughly.

I may be almost to the ages you mention (I turned 39 last July), but I think we're near enough that an ongoing friendship isn't out of the question. I always say you can never have too many friends, after all, right? <smile>

 

[hausfrau]

I find it interesting that a good number of men here are posting as if no women are posting in this thread at all. Honestly, if you can't take to the time to read, I doubt you'll give the time in real life to communicate on a deep level with a woman in similar circumstances.

Very perceptive, pebbles.

[/B][/QUOTE]
I see that most men are 10-15 years older than me, yet I've been married as long as they have. Most men my age (32) are either single and think my desires are *slutty* or they are early in their marriage and struggling to get their footing communicating their sexual desires to their wives. I'd love to find a man my age in real life who is prepared to have an ongoing friendship. I won't hold my breath! [/B][/QUOTE]

Most men your age find your desires slutty?!?! Hm. I can't say as I've encountered that. But I am in your same situation (33, married young, ten years this year) and I would recommend that you stop considering age as a factor, and actually, just stop looking. That's always when magic happens, when you least expect it.

 

[Nordic man]

good morning Hausfrau.. I hope you got shoveled out from the snow you got. I got 10 inches here and expected another 2 more before it is over with...
I just got done blowing snow and then the snow starts back up, like mother nature say. good work get ready to do more work.... get more gas for that snow blower...

 

[LingerieandLace]

good morning Hausfrau.. I hope you got shoveled out from the snow you got. I got 10 inches here and expected another 2 more before it is over with...
I just got done blowing snow and then the snow starts back up, like mother nature say. good work get ready to do more work.... get more gas for that snow blower...
[/B]

Wow 10 inches

 

[fntsymn64]

I am a 65 year old married man and my wife doesn't know that I am posting here. Over the years I have had a series of heart-related surgies including a transplant a few years ago. I received a 57 year old younger heart AND, along with a new lease on life, a HUGE LIBIDO! We are happily married although my wife is and has not been interested in sex for a number of years. I DO NOT see anyone else. I receive a lot of pleasure from on-line chatting and cybersex with a number of married as well as single women. Literoticaand other sites like it affords me the opportunity to meet and get to know intimately many wonderful women and, I DO LOVE WOMEN SO!

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

I find it interesting that a good number of men here are posting as if no women are posting in this thread at all. Honestly, if you can't take to the time to read, I doubt you'll give the time in real life to communicate on a deep level with a woman in similar circumstances.

I see that most men are 10-15 years older than me, yet I've been married as long as they have. Most men my age (32) are either single and think my desires are *slutty* or they are early in their marriage and struggling to get their footing communicating their sexual desires to their wives. I'd love to find a man my age in real life who is prepared to have an ongoing friendship. I won't hold my breath!

I hope that first comment was not directed at me. I have paid attention to what you say and, while I may have offended U w/ my last comment, I certainly recognize that women as well as men face this issue. And, the fact that a woman has strong sexual desires does not make her a slut. (Or, maybe we need to change the connotation of "slut." There are women on these boards who use that term proudly.) Anyway, the thoughts I have expressed to U about your situation would apply equally to a male, I think.

As for your goal, Y limit yourself to a man of your age? Older guys can offer a lot of attention and appreciation for your beauty, as well as the experience and knowledge to take the time to pleasure you thoroughly.

Mike

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Long time lurker

Do you really want to stop it there? Can you really be satisfied with only your own touch and not the touch of another?

Its a compromise, like I said.

 

[hausfrau]

Hi NM!! Long time no talk. Gotta fix that.

Pebs -- I think women are distinctly in the minority in that there are fewer women than men who are seeking something in addition sexually to what their spouses can/will provide. To that extent I think it's easy to forget that there are women like you and I out there.

I do hope you find someone with whom you can explore.

 

[Remec]

Most men your age find your desires slutty?!?! Hm. I can't say as I've encountered that. But I am in your same situation (33, married young, ten years this year) and I would recommend that you stop considering age as a factor, and actually, just stop looking. That's always when magic happens, when you least expect it.

Agreed.

Not to say magic isn't there when looked for, but it's so much more elusive and can drive you mad (or worse) trying to pin it down. Better to be open to whatever happens, and try to gently nudge things along when you suspect there is magic to be found...

 

[Nordic man]

Hi NM!! Long time no talk. Gotta fix that.

Pebs -- I think women are distinctly in the minority in that there are fewer women than men who are seeking something in addition sexually to what their spouses can/will provide. To that extent I think it's easy to forget that there are women like you and I out there.

I do hope you find someone with whom you can explore.

Yes I look forward to chatting with you again and getting your thoughts hausfrau

 

[babydoll2u]

I do so find it interesting, once again, just how many men there are on this thread complaining about their wives having no sex drive, or lack of interest in sex, or lack of interest in ANY kind of intimacy at all.....

I joined this thread months back because I was in the same situation, yet the roles were reversed.

Just interesting..............

 

[babydoll2u]

Pebs -- I think women are distinctly in the minority in that there are fewer women than men who are seeking something in addition sexually to what their spouses can/will provide. To that extent I think it's easy to forget that there are women like you and I out there.

I do hope you find someone with whom you can explore.

exactly

 

['Ol Tex]

OUCH PEBBLES !!

Excuse please, Ms. Pebbles......I believe I speak for most of the guys here and we DO REALIZE that there may be a "couple" of women on this thread but I hazard a guess that the ratio is probably at least 7 guys to maybe two women on this thread. And we do read all the posts but if we are having trouble deciphering the female ones from the male ones it is because not one woman has posted a SUGGESTION whether it would be acceptable for IGNORED husbands to seek "special friends". That's all we want, input if that is an alright "excuse" or if we should stay cloistered the rest of our lives. As far as "being deep emotionly", maybe you should try to understand our plight rather than put us down as "shallow". Obviously you have no problem getting sex. For that I am glad that you do not suffer the rejection that we do. Until you have gone months, even years without, please do not put us down. Hey, we're hurting out here for affection ok?? 'ol tex.

 

[kozyrose]

Turn it around...

If the shoe was on the other foot and you were not pleasing your wife, would she be justified in having a special friend? Everyone has to answer that kind of a question for themselves and live with any consequences that may or may not occur. And you might be surprised at how many women seek a friend because they are ignored at home.

 

[babydoll2u]

Re: OUCH PEBBLES !!

Excuse please, Ms. Pebbles......I believe I speak for most of the guys here and we DO REALIZE that there may be a "couple" of women on this thread but I hazard a guess that the ratio is probably at least 7 guys to maybe two women on this thread. And we do read all the posts but if we are having trouble deciphering the female ones from the male ones it is because not one woman has posted a SUGGESTION whether it would be acceptable for IGNORED husbands to seek "special friends". That's all we want, input if that is an alright "excuse" or if we should stay cloistered the rest of our lives. As far as "being deep emotionly", maybe you should try to understand our plight rather than put us down as "shallow". Obviously you have no problem getting sex. For that I am glad that you do not suffer the rejection that we do. Until you have gone months, even years without, please do not put us down. Hey, we're hurting out here for affection ok?? 'ol tex.

*holdin' up my hand, knowin' how you feel*
went for well over 2 years with no sex, no affection, no nothing.

My question, tex, is I guess, why do you (or I) need affirmation, acceptance or to be told it's "ok" to look for companionship or affection or just plain ol' sex, outside of our marriage?

Personally I dont think that you, or I, nor anyone else on this thread is "shallow".... I feel like we're all empty, needing someone to make us feel like we're ok, like we're worth something, like we're actually deserving of love and affection.

Am I right? or completely off-base here?

Peggy

 

[Looking4Fun46]

I find it interesting that a good number of men here are posting as if no women are posting in this thread at all. Honestly, if you can't take to the time to read, I doubt you'll give the time in real life to communicate on a deep level with a woman in similar circumstances.

I see that most men are 10-15 years older than me, yet I've been married as long as they have. Most men my age (32) are either single and think my desires are *slutty* or they are early in their marriage and struggling to get their footing communicating their sexual desires to their wives. I'd love to find a man my age in real life who is prepared to have an ongoing friendship. I won't hold my breath!

I realize there are women on this thread and I welcome their thoughts. In fact, I wish more women would post their thoughts and help me learn. Not sure what was said to make you think that we did not. I have no problem with women looking for the same thing as men, in fact I think it is the normal thing to do. I do find it interesting that you want to communicate on a deep level but to you that means you have to be a certain age. Hmmm, I guess that means us older guys have nothing of importance to offer or say. I am 46, hair has some gray in it now but I still wear the same size pants, 32 waist, as I did in college so I bet I am in better shape than a lot of guys in their 30's. I am also mature enough to want to build an ongoing friendship with a woman, in fact, its something I would to have before the "special friendship" could happen. Kind of hard to find something when you put a lot of limitations in front of it. Hope you find what you are looking for. Take Care.

 

[Looking4Fun46]

Re: Turn it around...

If the shoe was on the other foot and you were not pleasing your wife, would she be justified in having a special friend? Everyone has to answer that kind of a question for themselves and live with any consequences that may or may not occur. And you might be surprised at how many women seek a friend because they are ignored at home.

Yes she would Kozy. I do not believe in any double standards.

 

['Ol Tex]

YOU ARE O SO RIGHT !!

You are o so right babydoll2u. That is a good answer to the question (one of them) that I bring up. I guess in a way, (speaking for me AND NOT the other guys), because I DON'T want to be a "bad boy", (be unfaithful), I may be (consciously or sub-consciously), seeking "approval", (to be bad?). I don't know. All I know is FRUSTRATION !! And, like the other guy said, coming here is a "release", (and I don't mean sitting here playing with anything)!! LOL. But it is nice to have a lady friend that understands where guys like us are coming from. I guess I just want to know what WOMEN REALLY THINK about a guy who WANTS his wife to give him attention (but won't), but still has desires for a woman's touch and (maybe) would like a "special friend" and..................oh heck, forget it,,,,,,,,,,,I'm just drifting off now into where I am not even sure where I am going with this talk!! See, this is what "frustration" will do!!! LOL. Sorry for the rambling. I do not mean to put ANY WOMAN down, Just want them to understand that some of us "rejected" guys still know how to please a woman.........................if given half a chance!!!! Thanks for your understanding reply. 'ol tex.

 

[kozyrose]

I think...

We look for that affirmation because the constant rejection does a number on us. We know it isn't us... but there is that doubt... that nagging doubt that maybe it is us... the reason they stopped touching... caring... loving. I have been in this boat for way too long and I judge no one... and am glad you don't believe in a double standard. It is just not cut and dry when it comes to relationships. And sure is not easy....

 

['Ol Tex]

Of Course Kozy-

Of course Kozy if the shoe werer reversed as you say. I would not want my wife to suffer the rejection she puts me through. Now the question becomes though, is she NOT being pleased (by me) through my neglect or because of some "condition", (impotence, say)? Most of the MEN I have known in my life would NOT TOLERATE their wives "going elsewhere". It's a "male ego thing". These men would be quite capable of satisfying their wives IF THE WANTED TO but they are the "trophy hunter" types, (usually), and are just looking for "strange" and the feeling of "conquest" so they can put another notch in the bed post. However, I also know a few guys who, for one reason or the other, ARE IMPOTENT, but willing to let their wives go out for "release" because they are not threatened ego-wise by such daliences. As long as their wives still provide them with SOMETHING, they are ok with keeping their woman happy. It is rare. Maybe unusual. But I know of quite a few guys who feel this way. I have one friend who is diabetic (and impotent) and he is ok with his wife going out once a week for "her pleasure". I also know a guy who was in a car wreck and is paralyzed and ok's his wife the "same benefit". We are not all monsters. What is good for the goose is good for the gander too. If I can not take care of my wife, I have no problem she get a "hard one" somewhere else.............so long as she meets my needs too. 'ol tex.