Married Posters

[Treach]

Thanks for the advice.

I totally agree about the part about respecting each other's feelings.

I made in a post in How To like you suggested. Thanks!

 

[babydoll2u]

Re: new here

And here I thought I was the only one in this boat. But does anyone have a spouse who is against this type of chatting and flirting. I could be a dead man here
take care henry

no henry you're not a dead man, lol
My husband is TOTALLY against this type of website at all, let alone chatting and flirting.
He'd have a total fit if he knew I posted here. And having my own thread and posting my pics?? He'd divorce me I'm sure.

sooooo... my little (BIG) secret

 

[Saintfool]

That is one really fair and healthy position for a couple to have. I'm really impressed that you both have that degree of respect and trust that allow for that kind of open communication. Very cool.
Brava!

 

[Flashlover]

I am new to Lit. I am a married man whos wife does not know I am here. This is my 1st post. There has been nothing physical between us, except a goodnight kiss, for 10 years. I think I am one of the horniest men in the USA!

 

[wifeisaway]

married here

yes im married 47 years old from portsmouth still with a great passion for life and sex, just wish my wife had the same passion hence im here without her knowledge for a bit of fun

 

[bigvinny]

As I write this from my laptop on my wireless network, my wife of 17 years is 4 feet away from me. No idea what I'm doing...I've been a Lit fan for about 2 years but this is only my second post

I'm a 40 year old male...sex drive of a teenager...wife has a pretty low sex drive...once a quarter is typical...really sucks...and she's lost her adventerousness...so I get my rocks off my living somewhat vicariously through others. I'm interested in intelligent, sexually charged intense chat/email exchanges with like minded intelligent horny women... I'm very good at cyber...and want to virtually connect...I'm not interested in any physical connection short of own hand during an enjoyable cyber session...

Oh...to the point of the thread...she'd be pissed if she found out I did this...but oh well...gotta have SOME fun!

feel free to email or contact via bigvinny83@yahoo.com

 

[babydoll2u]

hi there and welcome to the thread....
Flashlover, wifeisaway, Bigvinny, and any other new posters I may have missed.

 

[wickedgirl]

I feel for you Flashover

 

[Flashlover]

Thanks Wickedgirl.

 

[mrguitarmn]

M/33 here
I keep this a secret but some of the things here i think help my sex life in the bedroom

 

[cog]

i just don't know how to tell my wife about lit

 

[mrguitarmn]

I'm not planning on it
this is for me

 

[HairTrigger]

Ditto. The wife would have a cow if she knew I was on here...

 

[hotbi1982]

my hubby and i always go on line together and never keep any secrets. we both talk to men and women on line and neither of us get jelouse of one another, as we are perfect soulmates and know that nothing could ever come between us. there is also 16 years difference between us and we are so open with each other about our feelings that we can virtualy read each others minds and we never hide the slightest and i mean not even the smallest of secrets from one another. love louise x

 

[wicked woman]

So why are there so many women who would be upset to know their husbands were on Lit? What bothers them about it? Any ideas?

 

[DevilSyndrom]

maybe some are not as sexually (publicly) open?

 

[SweetErika]

So why are there so many women who would be upset to know their husbands were on Lit? What bothers them about it? Any ideas?

I wonder if they would actually be upset if they were told about it from the get go. But I also think it depends on what your spouse is doing on here. I'd be hurt and angry if he was looking for someone to cyber or have an affair with (without my consent), if he was belittling me on here, or if this became a substitute for or interfered with things we did together. Perhaps women are also upset because they don't understand what it is, and you can customize your experience by sticking to certain boards and topics. I can't imagine any woman would have a problem with her husband asking for tips on how to please her more or reading stories to get ideas on spicing up their sex life.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by SweetErika
I wonder if they would actually be upset if they were told about it from the get go. But I also think it depends on what your spouse is doing on here. I'd be hurt and angry if he was looking for someone to cyber or have an affair with (without my consent), if he was belittling me on here, or if this became a substitute for or interfered with things we did together. Perhaps women are also upset because they don't understand what it is, and you can customize your experience by sticking to certain boards and topics. I can't imagine any woman would have a problem with her husband asking for tips on how to please her more or reading stories to get ideas on spicing up their sex life.

All good points Erika...of course I assumed without an open marriage the wife would be upset if her husband was trying to arrange a RL affair...and perhaps depending on their limits even cybering.

Your point about being a substitute is a good one as well, but from what I can gather, a number of the women who would be upset with their husbands being on Lit, also aren't very sexually active...so in their case, it may be a substitute for her, but because she's not being sexually active. I don't hear any of the guys saying they'd rather be on Lit than have sex with their wives.

Bad mouthing the wife would also be an understandable reason to be upset.

As for some wives being upset about their husbands learning more about how to please her or spice up their sex life...I'm not sure about that. Again it seems to me...and I might have the wrong impression...but I think at least a portion of the wives who don't know their husbands are on Lit, seem to just not be interested in sex very much...so they may very well be upset if he starts wanting/encouraging sex more often and in deifferent ways than their usual.

DevilSyndrom...that's part of what I thought might be the case...very conservative as far as sex goes.

Thanks for the input.

 

[mrguitarmn]

I don't think I'm here for anything else then to explore, enhance, and express my sexuality. I'm not trying to hurt or belittle my wife I just know that she wouldn't understand and it may ruin what she and I have which i believe to be very healthy marriage. We have great sex and I think part of that is because of some of the things I learned here or tried because of being able to open up in this community where there are no real lines but the ones that we draw.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by mrguitarmn
I don't think I'm here for anything else then to explore, enhance, and express my sexuality. I'm not trying to hurt or belittle my wife I just know that she wouldn't understand and it may ruin what she and I have which i believe to be very healthy marriage. We have great sex and I think part of that is because of some of the things I learned here or tried because of being able to open up in this community where there are no real lines but the ones that we draw.

Didn't mean to insinuate that you were trying to hurt or belittle your wife. I think as far as belittling goes, Erika was just suggesting that would be one of the reasons why she/other wifes might be upset about.

Don't mean to pry, but could you explain a bit why she wouldn't understand? Just trying to understand.

 

[SweetErika]

It's an extremely complex and individual issue, WickedWoman, and you have excellent ideas!

I'd add if your spouse doesn't seem interested in sex, it might be all the more reason to tell/include him or her in your Lit activities. After six years, I was convinced my husband just wasn't very sexual, but I was proved wrong after a few weeks of talking to him about what I'd been reading in the forums. I've also found non-sexual things usually determine my interest in sex... an extra effort to make me feel good physically or emotionally fuels my desire to connect with him sexually. If nothing else, it's worth some investigation into WHY your spouse isn't interested!

 

[mrguitarmn]

She is a very sexual person ...
just not as much as I am
I have no complaints in our sex life
She just wouldn't get this that's all

 

[SweetErika]

Didn't mean to insinuate that you were trying to hurt or belittle your wife. I think as far as belittling goes, Erika was just suggesting that would be one of the reasons why she/other wifes might be upset about.

Don't mean to pry, but could you explain a bit why she wouldn't understand? Just trying to understand.

Yep, that's exactly what I meant. On occasion, I have seen posts to the effect of, "My wife is an ugly bitch..." and some other cruel remarks. It sounds like you have a great relationship and are here for all of the right reasons Mrguitarman!

 

[pkinbvco]

Fascinating thread. I'd like to add some comments and questions but I think I ought to read through the entire thread first. I may find the answers that I'm looking for.

Oh yea, no she doesn't, hates the computer.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by SweetErika
It's an extremely complex and individual issue, WickedWoman, and you have excellent ideas!

I'd add if your spouse doesn't seem interested in sex, it might be all the more reason to tell/include him or her in your Lit activities. After six years, I was convinced my husband just wasn't very sexual, but I was proved wrong after a few weeks of talking to him about what I'd been reading in the forums. I've also found non-sexual things usually determine my interest in sex... an extra effort to make me feel good physically or emotionally fuels my desire to connect with him sexually. If nothing else, it's worth some investigation into WHY your spouse isn't interested!

Yes I'm beginning to see that....that it's complex and individual.

Definitely agree that if a person feels good about themselves they will often be more interested in sex.

If I might ask, do you have any idea what changed your husbanc's ideas? Was it just opening up the communication about sexual things?


btw just to make sure I'm not misleading anyone on this thread...I have no spouse..which is why I didn't answer the question personally...but the topic interests me and I'm trying to understand so thanks for your replies.