Mannerisms

[widereceiver]

I had to go this morning to the big box home improvement store Home Depot. I needed to ask a couple of employees for help, both men. Without consciously doing it, I found myself speaking to them in a soft effeminate voice that I didn’t know I had. The first one seemed a little put off by me but then maybe I had gotten a little into his personal space. The second seemed oblivious to the way I was speaking. It’s only been a short while that I got honest with myself about my homosexuality. Now I’m wondering if my whole personality is changing or will change because I see myself as a gay man. I had no intention of speaking any other way than I normally do, and yet this happened. Has this happened to anyone else? Are there other changes I should look out for or expect? With one exception, I’m not consciously trying to affect any gay mannerisms but I think before long I might experience some behavioral changes that others will notice. Any thoughts? I really don’t seem to be the man I used to be.

 

[Savanasexi]

I had to go this morning to the big box home improvement store Home Depot. I needed to ask a couple of employees for help, both men. Without consciously doing it, I found myself speaking to them in a soft almost effeminate voice. The first one seemed a little put off by me but then maybe I had gotten a little into his personal space. The second seemed oblivious to the way I was speaking. It’s only been a short while that I got honest with myself about my homosexuality. Now I’m wondering if my whole personality is changing or will change because I see myself as a gay man. I had no intention of speaking any other way than I normally do, and yet this happened. Has this happened to anyone else? Are there other changes I should look out for or expect? With one exception, I’m not consciously trying to affect any gay mannerisms but I think before long I might experience some sort of behavioral changes that others will notice. Any thoughts? I really don’t seem to be the man I used to be.

You need a man to reply to this.
I'm a bi girl.

 

[AlexBailey]

I present mostly male, though feminine traits often slip out and become obvious, especially when I’m around alfa males.

There have been men who have picked up on it and started toying with me conversationally. I’d presume they were gay, or at least interested in me as a femme guy. It happened to me once at Home Depot!

 

[widereceiver]

Yeah Home Depot is great. There are always a lot of masculine guys milling around. I need to go there more often.

 

[SebastianApollo]

Ya' know, it's actually kinda funny. Because when I came out to one of my friends (who was gay himself), he actually expressed to me that I was very straight-passing. But there are times where I notice that I code switch - I'll deepen my voice when talking to other guys, maybe fold my arms as to not draw attention to my body language.

The only thing I feel that gives me away is limp wrist - the way I use my hands when I talk and express attention to either myself or another individual.

If you feel comfortable, then go for it.

 

[widereceiver]

Thanks for your response. You are the second person to mention “code switching “ -- something I had not heard of before. What you say makes sense. I probably was signaling and hoping someone would notice. What threw me was that it happened completely out of the blue. I’ve been to Home Depot and Lowes many times in the past but this trip was completely different. I suppose it was triggered by my new or changed interest in men, looking to see which ones are hot, and wondering which if any might gay or bi.

 

[widereceiver]

The “not the man I used to be “ was tongue in cheek as that’s something guys, including myself, commonly say as we start getting older, only now it’s taken on a whole new meaning.

Otherwise, I don’t think I’m as concerned as it may have sounded. The original post was written immediately after the event and I think at the time I was a little surprised at the unexpected turn in behavior. I suppose I was puzzled by what had happened and curious as to why. I don’t find it upsetting so if I have conveyed that then I’ve been clumsy in what I wrote.

 

[Scooterlover]

I am a total chameleon. I think from a lifetime of hiding who/what I am I am able to blend in anywhere. That said, I find that even when I think I’m being incredibly femme people don’t notice and are shocked when I tell them I’m gay/ gender issued.

 

[muycurioso]

I had to go this morning to the big box home improvement store Home Depot. I needed to ask a couple of employees for help, both men. Without consciously doing it, I found myself speaking to them in a soft effeminate voice that I didn’t know I had. The first one seemed a little put off by me but then maybe I had gotten a little into his personal space. The second seemed oblivious to the way I was speaking. It’s only been a short while that I got honest with myself about my homosexuality. Now I’m wondering if my whole personality is changing or will change because I see myself as a gay man. I had no intention of speaking any other way than I normally do, and yet this happened. Has this happened to anyone else? Are there other changes I should look out for or expect? With one exception, I’m not consciously trying to affect any gay mannerisms but I think before long I might experience some behavioral changes that others will notice. Any thoughts? I really don’t seem to be the man I used to be.

I have tried to talk to a few dudes, no luck. women or men no one wants anything to do with me. I am a fucking unloveable loser

 

[Scooterlover]

I have tried to talk to a few dudes, no luck. women or men no one wants anything to do with me. I am a fucking unloveable loser

I can’t believe that for one minute. I have days when I think everyone hates me but then someone says something nice and the world doesn’t seem too bad.
I’m certain you’re lovely

 

[wetsawdust]

I work with almost all women. I catch myself so often speaking to them in a completely different way I do to friends. I was at a boutique today, taken with the lovely lady running it, having a great chat with her and I caught myself coming off as very fem. I'm fine with it. It feels honest. It's weird, but life is fuckin weird.

 

[Cumpup39]

I am an outwardly appearing man’s man. Masculine, rugged etc.

When I am away from my normal roles, and MEN are around, my mannerisms and speech soften. I catch myself talking with a little lisp and acting like a shy slut… Not sure why, possibly my cock and cum thirst taking over. Either way, MEN catch on and I get fed and bred!

 

[samx99]

I am an outwardly appearing man’s man. Masculine, rugged etc.

When I am away from my normal roles, and MEN are around, my mannerisms and speech soften. I catch myself talking with a little lisp and acting like a shy slut… Not sure why, possibly my cock and cum thirst taking over. Either way, MEN catch on and I get fed and bred!

I think that’s so hot. I love a rugged man who has a soft side

 

[CDee4fun]

I present mostly male, though feminine traits often slip out and become obvious, especially when I’m around alfa males.

There have been men who have picked up on it and started toying with me conversationally. I’d presume they were gay, or at least interested in me as a femme guy. It happened to me once at Home Depot!

What is it about Home Depot? I went there totally in guy mode bat as soon as I saw this hot guy I found myself switching to fem and flirting. Lol

 

[Britva415]

I don't know if this is true everywhere, but in my part of California, every Home Depot bathroom for 40 miles around is on Sniffies.com as a known and busy cruising location.

 

[whiteasianlvr]

I am a total chameleon. I think from a lifetime of hiding who/what I am I am able to blend in anywhere. That said, I find that even when I think I’m being incredibly femme people don’t notice and are shocked when I tell them I’m gay/ gender issued.

I think there's a lot of this in me - acting in whatever way is necessary given the situation and the interaction. So, at the core, I know who I am but have built up a persona that doesn't match it.

 

[drobert44]

I think there's a lot of this in me - acting in whatever way is necessary given the situation and the interaction. So, at the core, I know who I am but have built up a persona that doesn't match it.

Nobody can tell I am bi

 

[ZacharyFagg]

I'm a total fem. My painted nails and plucked eyebrows always give me away, not to mention the way I shake my ass when I walk. The guys at places like home depot always look at me funny. They know I'm a faggot. It honestly turns me on.

 

[lordpenizworth]

Guys tell me they can't tell I'm bi. But this post is so insightful,I may have to adapt my body language and/or speech a little bit. Hmm...
Great post.

I am an outwardly appearing man’s man. Masculine, rugged etc.

When I am away from my normal roles, and MEN are around, my mannerisms and speech soften. I catch myself talking with a little lisp and acting like a shy slut… Not sure why, possibly my cock and cum thirst taking over. Either way, MEN catch on and I get fed and bred!

 

[whiteasianlvr]

I think we tend to be a bit "fluid" depending on who we're with/around. With others who are gay, my defenses are lowered and I relax often without realizing it although I admit that's more with those who aren't extremes in terms of being effeminate. I wonder if this is how others who are of a "certain age" when it wasn't necessarily easy or safe to be out got by.