man problems....is it the commitment?

[pinksateendream]

Hi everyone. I am 22 and feeling so confused. I had a boyfriend for 4 years, we were engaged...and then he became verbally abusive and I left him. Now I am in a new relationship with a great man, we've been dating for say .... 7 months and things are starting to become more serious. We'll both be graduating college in about a year and the topic of recent conversation has been getting more and more serious...... and I am scared. I really feel that I love this man, I just feel very scared which has turned into me sometimes feeling as if I do not have enough time alone.... kind of like I am cornered. The other day he called me from work 4 times and I panicked that he was trying to keep tabs on me. He said that he missed me and I said that I didn't have enough time alone to miss him. Basically, I've been a major bitch. I just don't know what to do. I have dated a few guys short term... along with the two longer term relationships and I don't know if I should continue playing the field so to speak... or if I should just get over my fears. Please let me know what you think and if you've ever experienced anything similar. Thanks and love.

-pink

 

[lovetoread]

I am right there with you.

I just got out of a relationship and am with a fella and my being with him is serious.

It takes all that I have to not run away as fast as I can run.

Take a deep breath and think about yourself,him,and if what you are feeling has to do with this guy that you are with,or the guy you left.

Either way,think about it and at least let this fella know what you are feeling.

Good luck.

 

[MidnightsANGEL]

I know how you feel....I've had problems trusting men since I was young and have carried that fear into every relationship I've ever had. I was married, very very young and the entire 5 year experience was horriffic and abusive...When I finally left and took my 2 kids with me, I immediatly met a man who is now my husband. He is a wonderful, loving and generous man who I can't complain about except that he won't put his dirty clothes in the hamper...he opts for the floor instead *LOL* but even with him being this great guy, it took us 2 and a half years to get married....

Well, now I'm ranting and I don't have a lot of advice except to tell you to follow your heart but keep an ear out for what your head says, too....just want you to know that in a way, I know where you're coming from.

 

[pinksateendream]

aww that is so nice of you to say all of that to me. i guess that i can't hide out in my apartment forever eating chocolate feeling bad and getting fat. i'm going to tell him what is going on but i worry he'll be crushed that i can't go into this as eagerly as he can. hope all goes well... cross your fingers for me.. ok one more chocolate....

-pink

 

[dreamer]

I've had TWO count'em TWO fiancee's walk away AFTER the ring. The first one we ended up as friends after she was honest with me. It involved serious debt on her part and the fact I was willing to sign the mortgage with her had kept her around longer than well...nevermind...the first was justified.

The second she never gave me, any of our friends, or her mom a reason. She just said, I can't do this and moved out of state. I was and still am to some extent really close to her mom, and we think (note the operative word THINK) she was just afraid.

Women, PLEASE, don't accept lousy men in your life. Don't let them tear you down and ruin you for the good guys.

Corollary: Don't run from the good guys because some asshole gave you a display of how horrible a bad relationship can be.

Oh well...good luck!! Fingers crossed and all that. No matter what you do, talk to him and stay honest.

 

[Guest]

thanks so much for your advice. it really opened up my eyes. i just called him after i read it and he'll be over soon to talk. thanks so much.

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

I've had TWO count'em TWO fiancee's walk away AFTER the ring. The first one we ended up as friends after she was honest with me. It involved serious debt on her part and the fact I was willing to sign the mortgage with her had kept her around longer than well...nevermind...the first was justified.

The second she never gave me, any of our friends, or her mom a reason. She just said, I can't do this and moved out of state. I was and still am to some extent really close to her mom, and we think (note the operative word THINK) she was just afraid.

Women, PLEASE, don't accept lousy men in your life. Don't let them tear you down and ruin you for the good guys.

Corollary: Don't run from the good guys because some asshole gave you a display of how horrible a bad relationship can be.

Oh well...good luck!! Fingers crossed and all that. No matter what you do, talk to him and stay honest.

Those are great comments. Good luck Pink.