Male Dominant/Female Submissive

[-geisha.grrrl-]

In my experiences with male dominants who look for female submissives, it is as though the female [myself] is applying for approval, and that my approval [or lack of] for them does not matter at all.

Anyone have this experience? Any advice?

 

[FurryFury]

In my experiences with male dominants who look for female submissives, it is as though the female [myself] is applying for approval, and that my approval [or lack of] for them does not matter at all.

Anyone have this experience? Any advice?

Yes, I have.

We call these types Asshats or wannabes they may or may not be Dominant but they are a pain to deal with.

After a while a "real" one comes along who actually desires to know you and you to know him. When you find that rare gem, good things can happen, at least for a while.

Good luck!

Remember the old saying, you have to kiss a lot of frogs? *nods*

Sometimes when you are pretty tired and fed up, he suddenly somes along.

Fury

 

[RJMasters]

In my experiences with male dominants who look for female submissives, it is as though the female [myself] is applying for approval, and that my approval [or lack of] for them does not matter at all.

Anyone have this experience? Any advice?

GG,

Good to see you over here.

I think one of the most critical aspects of a D/s type relationship is the exchange or power exchange (PE).

When circumstances are like what you describe them as, it often short circuits the exchange by making the exchange one way instead of two way and there is a tendency that all other aspects of the relationship follow in this manner.

For example: It only matters what I think and what you think doesn't matter at all kind of mentality.

If a person likes being a convience and then discarded, then perhaps the scenero you described would work fine for that type of person. However if you are looking for something more than that in a relationship, then exchange needs to happen in a two way fashion, which means that your approval does matter or should matter to the one you are in the relationship with.

Edited to add:
For clarification, when I say your approval does matter, I am speaking of the person as a whole(their character, personality etc..) and not every little detail or circumstance. For the details and circumstances, your consent is what determines the level of approval for the blow by blow play.

 

[a_well_punished_girl]

Yes, I have.

We call these types Asshats or wannabes they may or may not be Dominant but they are a pain to deal with.

"Asshats"? Never heard that one before. That's hysterical!

 

[Shankara20]

Remember the old saying, you have to kiss a lot of frogs? *nods*

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g38/nbright1969/funny/frog.jpg
​

 

[Chicklet]

don't settle for anything less than what you want.

especially online, i've had the experiences with guys thinking that i need to be on my best behavior and trying to impress them from the get-go. i think that i'm quite a catch, however, and if they act like that, i just ignore them and look for someone different.

don't be afraid to look until you find what you want.

there *are* 'gentlemen' out there in the D/s world.

 

[Guest]

Yes, I have.

We call these types Asshats or wannabes they may or may not be Dominant but they are a pain to deal with.

After a while a "real" one comes along who actually desires to know you and you to know him. When you find that rare gem, good things can happen, at least for a while.

Good luck!

Remember the old saying, you have to kiss a lot of frogs? *nods*

Sometimes when you are pretty tired and fed up, he suddenly somes along.

Fury

*snicker*

Asshats!



(Great advice!)

 

[FurryFury]

"Asshats"? Never heard that one before. That's hysterical!

I didn't coin it. It's been used here a good bit. There is even a thread on it!

Fury

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g38/nbright1969/funny/frog.jpg
​

Too cute Sugah! Here is the easier version for me at least.

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

don't settle for anything less than what you want.

especially online, i've had the experiences with guys thinking that i need to be on my best behavior and trying to impress them from the get-go. i think that i'm quite a catch, however, and if they act like that, i just ignore them and look for someone different.

don't be afraid to look until you find what you want.

there *are* 'gentlemen' out there in the D/s world.

Good advice!

Fury

*snicker*

Asshats!



(Great advice!)

Thanks Darlin!

Fury

 

[pandoravampire]

Think like a Domme whilst you search as a submissive.

Set the rules, set the pace, set the objective, and dont compromise.

pandoravampire

 

[John Doe]

Sounds right to me.

 

[-geisha.grrrl-]

thanks for all the replies ppl.

I don't know that i would seriously search for anyone online, as I'm... way about trust... and i don't know that i could find and trust someone that implicity online.

plus cyber submission has never been interesting to me, from either side.