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Guest
Guest
SF Chron. - Jon Carroll, August 19, 2004
. . .
I'm sorry, but why is swimming a spectator sport? Eight splashy blobs go right to left across the screen, then they go left to right across the screen, and one splashy blob wins. Even if I know that the splashy blob in lane 4 has overcome the deaths of her grandparents, the deaths of her parents, lupus, gunshot wounds, immigration hassles, painkiller addiction and tornado damage to finish a disappointing third, I am not moved.
(I am sure that the family and friends of splashy blob No. 4 love to watch her compete, and by golly, I wish them well. But, you know, I'm sure professional bowlers have loved ones and tragedies and all that, and I don't tune them in, either. Heck, you have loved ones and tragedies, and I don't sit on your couch and watch you do Pilates, now, do I?)
For that matter, when did rowing becoming a prime-time event? It looks like pencils racing. And the fabulous child abuse of women's gymnastics: It sure is breathtaking, but it's like sausage -- you don't want to think too hard about what went into making it.
. . .
Who would have guessed that table tennis could be fun to watch? But it is. It is not at all the rumpus room staple you remember -- for one thing, the serves are completely different and extremely weird -- but it is fast and fun and filled with apparently impossible events. Did you know that a good pingpong player can make the ball spin at 140 revolutions per second?
. . .
Maybe you should try to check it out, too, because this is the last time Mia Hamm will be playing on the national team. She has scored 153 goals in international soccer competition, which is far more than any other man or woman who has ever played the game. Her demeanor is serious and modest; she seems almost embarrassed by her own skill. She is the most recognizable women's soccer player ever, but you get the feeling that she views celebrity as an irritating burden. Get a taste of Mia while you still can; soon she'll be available only on videotape, and not much of that.
Diana Taurasi, by contrast, is just starting her professional career. She is technically a sub on the U.S. women's basketball team, although the entire game changes when she finally checks in. She is among brilliant players -- unlike the men, the best female professionals actually seem to think it's cool to be in Athens -- and still she seems a notch or two better than anyone else.
Women's basketball and women's soccer often appear on your TV screen early in the morning, or shoved between the air rifle and field hockey competitions in some daytime slot, but do try to take a look. Big fun.
. . .
Field hockey is an amusing game, in which women hit each other with sticks while pretending to chase a ball.
. . .
I'm sorry, but why is swimming a spectator sport? Eight splashy blobs go right to left across the screen, then they go left to right across the screen, and one splashy blob wins. Even if I know that the splashy blob in lane 4 has overcome the deaths of her grandparents, the deaths of her parents, lupus, gunshot wounds, immigration hassles, painkiller addiction and tornado damage to finish a disappointing third, I am not moved.
(I am sure that the family and friends of splashy blob No. 4 love to watch her compete, and by golly, I wish them well. But, you know, I'm sure professional bowlers have loved ones and tragedies and all that, and I don't tune them in, either. Heck, you have loved ones and tragedies, and I don't sit on your couch and watch you do Pilates, now, do I?)
For that matter, when did rowing becoming a prime-time event? It looks like pencils racing. And the fabulous child abuse of women's gymnastics: It sure is breathtaking, but it's like sausage -- you don't want to think too hard about what went into making it.
. . .
Who would have guessed that table tennis could be fun to watch? But it is. It is not at all the rumpus room staple you remember -- for one thing, the serves are completely different and extremely weird -- but it is fast and fun and filled with apparently impossible events. Did you know that a good pingpong player can make the ball spin at 140 revolutions per second?
. . .
Maybe you should try to check it out, too, because this is the last time Mia Hamm will be playing on the national team. She has scored 153 goals in international soccer competition, which is far more than any other man or woman who has ever played the game. Her demeanor is serious and modest; she seems almost embarrassed by her own skill. She is the most recognizable women's soccer player ever, but you get the feeling that she views celebrity as an irritating burden. Get a taste of Mia while you still can; soon she'll be available only on videotape, and not much of that.
Diana Taurasi, by contrast, is just starting her professional career. She is technically a sub on the U.S. women's basketball team, although the entire game changes when she finally checks in. She is among brilliant players -- unlike the men, the best female professionals actually seem to think it's cool to be in Athens -- and still she seems a notch or two better than anyone else.
Women's basketball and women's soccer often appear on your TV screen early in the morning, or shoved between the air rifle and field hockey competitions in some daytime slot, but do try to take a look. Big fun.
. . .
Field hockey is an amusing game, in which women hit each other with sticks while pretending to chase a ball.
