Making Size Matter

[Omenainen]

Why should the description be tasteful? Just bring on the mighty cocks! The bigger, the better. I just published one with a big dick in it, but I don't think I did anything tasteful to describe it (and now that I think about it nobody even tasted it even though it was a group sex story). Wasn't exactly aiming for "tasteful" with that one.

I would agree with "no measurements" though, if for nothing else than for loathing to do inches-cm-conversions while reading smut.

 

[Handley_Page]

From "Lords & the Lady", by Androgynousother:-


"AND OF COURSE THE OTHER THING ABOUT DAINES?" shouted the Baroness.

"NOT NOW JUDITH PLEASE!" begged my lovely and sensitive Grandmama at the top of her voice.

"HAD A COCK THE SIZE OF SHORT STALLION AND KNEW WHAT TO DO WITH IT!"

"JUDITH!" my Grandmother all but screamed.

"YOUNG TILLY QUARLEY KNOWS ALL ABOUT IT I UNDERSTAND!" laughed the Baroness, "MY GAMEKEEPER SAW HIM ROGERING THE POOR GIRL SENSELESS IN THE WATERLOO FOLLY AFTER THE LAST HUNT DINNER! POOR DEAR COULD BARELY WALK AFTER HE'D SEEN TO HER! GOOD AND PROPER HIS WIFE TOLD ME, QUITE TOOK IT OUT OF THE HER, AFTER PUTTING IT IN HER IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT ?"

 

[PoisonPen33]

"PRETTY PETER! ONE OF THE NICEST GUYS ON THE ROSTER, HAS A COCK LIKE A FUCKING PRINGLES CAN!"

https://youtu.be/7AmbimArBAs?t=1551

 

[lovecraft68]

 

[UtherVierDragon]

His cock was a tower, and - like that monument of old - it took her speech away.

 

[Emirus]

So, I have a story in my "very early drafts" folder, and I really want to find a (tasteful) way of emphasising that the protagonist has an exceptional penis. Great shape, size and function!

Any advice on making it work would be appreciated! Maybe share how you’ve handled big sizes before?

15 inches long and as thick as a Coke can is popular with a lot of writers.

Or

Even flaccid his cock was the envy of most men and, once erect, he always had to give a woman time to get used to his girth before pushing in further. Even then it was rare for a woman to be able to accept his full manhood.

I think I’ll use that myself!

 

[lovecraft68]

I was a big fan of the Destroyer series by Warren Murphy and Richard Saphir. I suppose I still am, but haven't gone back and read any of them in twenty years. Its an action/martial arts series, but had more than its share of raunchy scenes.

One line that for some reason has always stuck with me, "His cock was only visible beneath his gut do to its exemplary size."

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Describing it with measurements is a sure click back for me. Same for a woman's breasts. I really haven't used numbers to describe cock. The woman always compared it to her husband or boyfriend or some other person she knew. Or I used dialog from the woman.

"Holy shit! You expect me to get that in my pussy?"

"Not all the way, but you have children and I don't see a scar on your perfect stomach so I have to assume you pushed it out of the same place I will push my cock in," he replied.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

15 inches long and as thick as a Coke can is popular with a lot of writers.

Too true, but there must be a lot of lonely jenny donkeys where they live. Seriously, what human woman is going to enjoy that? Sure, babies pass through and they're bigger, but that process is called labour and involves literally hours of very painful stretching and all too often ripping and tearing. That's not erotic.

We've seen examples of what is erotic, but permit me to give another:

He was, she knew, the most magnificent man she had ever seen, his body tanned, fit, perfectly-proportioned. His cock -- she could only think of it by that term -- was now fully erect and the girl was suddenly struck with doubt. It seemed to her to be very long, very thick, very...

Fascinating. She found herself blushing as the word came into her mind. Even so, she continued to stare at it, entranced as any bird watching a slowly-approaching serpent.

 

[lovecraft68]

""Not all the way, but you have children and I don't see a scar on your perfect stomach so I have to assume you pushed it out of the same place I will push my cock in," he replied.

Wow, that guy is one smooth talker. Implying she's not tight because she's had kids.

I'd have done a nice grab and twist on his nuts if I were her.

Oops there I go with my disdain for men in erotica again.

 

[CarnalLusts]

Do what works for you and your writing style

I have tried providing both specific measurements and more vague but expressive relative comparison. It depends on your writing style I think. The first can trip people up as they try to read (too much detail) while the latter let's the readers imagination do the work. Which is often better.

In general, write it then read it. If it works for you then go with it. Just be ready take the feedback and adjust your writing to match as you deem necessary.

 

[KeithD]

I have tried providing both specific measurements and more vague but expressive relative comparison. It depends on your writing style I think. The first can trip people up as they try to read (too much detail) while the latter let's the readers imagination do the work. Which is often better.

In general, write it then read it. If it works for you then go with it. Just be ready take the feedback and adjust your writing to match as you deem necessary.

I think, in dialogue, that it depends on your character's background and personality.

 

[SimonDoom]

I recently saw the term "ham candle" used and I'm looking for a way to incorporate it in a story.

 

[KeithD]

I recently saw the term "ham candle" used and I'm looking for a way to incorporate it in a story.

Something you're planning just to tuck away in a drawer somewhere, I would hope.

 

[galaxygoddess]

Something you're planning just to tuck away in a drawer somewhere, I would hope.

I should hope not, I want to read it now.

At least it's funnier than a "veiny love stick" I knew a guy used to call his.

 

[SimonDoom]

Something you're planning just to tuck away in a drawer somewhere, I would hope.

LOL. Well, it would have to a special kind of story with a special kind of tone to warrant the use of that term.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I recently saw the term "ham candle" used and I'm looking for a way to incorporate it in a story.

Don't combine it with "pork sword". Laurel's word-bot will have a conniption, and I'd like to see your "explanation" to get that one through.

"Seriously, Miss, they're all analogies."

"Why is the pig wearing pink panties, Mister Doom?"

Carry on .

 

[MColton84]

'Car Ramrod, car Ramrod' My sister's ex wanted to be called the Dicks-secutioner.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Could compare it to fisting:

She had to suppress a gasp when she finally saw his cock. All she could think of was how this would be more like when her ex had given her a good fisting than when he'd provided a disappointing fuck.

 

[SimonDoom]

Don't combine it with "pork sword". Laurel's word-bot will have a conniption, and I'd like to see your "explanation" to get that one through.

"Seriously, Miss, they're all analogies."

"Why is the pig wearing pink panties, Mister Doom?"

Carry on .

Of course, I'll carry on! And I'll carry my ham candle/pork sword with me, just in case I need it.

My point is that tone is everything. The proper word choice depends on the tone of the story. Sometimes I enjoy erotic stories written in a serious, literate style. But I also sometimes enjoy a more gonzo, over-the-top style with my erotica, and I don't mind seeing silly, crazy terms to describe sex parts if they fit with the tone of the story. SDoom is a man of many moods.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Wow, that guy is one smooth talker. Implying she's not tight because she's had kids.

I'd have done a nice grab and twist on his nuts if I were her.

Oops there I go with my disdain for men in erotica again.

That wasn't what I was trying to convey, only that a woman's vagina will stretch if the situation calls for it.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

'Car Ramrod, car Ramrod' My sister's ex wanted to be called the Dicks-secutioner.

Why, did he go around destroying dicks?

 

[KeithD]

'Car Ramrod, car Ramrod' My sister's ex wanted to be called the Dicks-secutioner.

"Gear shift" went around for several years, reaching its height, I think, when some tabloid called Prince Philip Queen Elizabeth's "royal gear shift."

 

[MColton84]

Why, did he go around destroying dicks?

I don't know. Probably envy.