Making it, um ... easier on them

[TheHammerClaw]

New user here, just thought I'd start with a question: when trying anal sex for the first time, what's a good way to make it easier on your partner? I'm sure lubricants and going slow are probably the best advice, but are there any other dark, secret, unimaginably sexy techniques out there that I might have not heard of.

Also, I'd just like to take this opportunity, since this is my first post, to just get it out of my system right away and use a bunch of these emoticons

On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being "most represents how I feel" and 1 being "least represents how I feel" - I would have to rate the dancing banana a 6, the smiling cat a 9, the cool smiley a 4, and the frog with distended tongue a solid 10.

Thank you for your time.

 

[EJFan]

welcome to lit... and thanks for the laugh.

you pretty much answered your own question. lube and go slow. warm your partner up too... tongue, fingers, toys, whatever... the more relaxed and prepared they are the better.

check the "blank manual" at the top of this page. lots of threads in there that address this.

 

[Eilan]

Of course, I'm sure that you'll first allow your partner the opportunity to penetrate your ass with a strap-on roughly the size of your penis. Just to get a sense of what she'll be experiencing and all.

Repeat after me--The ass is not a second vagina. . . The ass is not a second vagina.

Oh, and like EJ said, check The Blank Manual sticky at the top of the page and some of the How-To essays in the Story section, namely the one by sweetsubsarahh.

 

[jason_jenn]

welcome to lit... and thanks for the laugh.

you pretty much answered your own question. lube and go slow. warm your partner up too... tongue, fingers, toys, whatever... the more relaxed and prepared they are the better.

check the "blank manual" at the top of this page. lots of threads in there that address this.

Yes, as EJFan said... Warming up and checking the manual are great ideas... May I offer an addition to that? Well, I will anyways. If you don't have any toys (Or toys that are small enough) Look for smooth surfaced household items wroking from small (perhaps a pen with a rounded top) to use and work up to larger items... Just make sure that:
1. Item is washable and is washed before and after use
2. Put a condom in it and use LOTS of lubrication
3. If she bears down (like she is about to do the doo) as something is inserted, it will slip in easier.

 

[tabbybaby]

Pretty much what everyone else has said, go easy and use lots of lube. And make sure she's relaxed. I found it really relaxing to have my partner's hand on my ass instead of gripping my sides or anywhere else.

 

[silverwhisper]

welcome, hammerclaw.

all the salient points were already covered by the others so i've got nothing to add, except for my own appreciation for this guy:

that's just for you, eilan. :>

ed

 

[wicked woman]

I didn't read where any one told you to let her control the action....when you first put your head in hold it there, let her get used to the feeling...have her tell/show you when she's ready to have you move more...and have her push back against you.

 

[bobsgirl]

Also, I've heard that it helps if she has an orgasm first. I have a particular fondness for that one.

 

[M's girl]

Of course, I'm sure that you'll first allow your partner the opportunity to penetrate your ass with a strap-on roughly the size of your penis. Just to get a sense of what she'll be experiencing and all.

Repeat after me--The ass is not a second vagina. . . The ass is not a second vagina.

Eilan rocks

 

[My Oh Maya]

For me, lots of lube and slow insertion are key.

And, I agree...after I cum, it's much easier for me to take a cock in my ass.

One thing I would I strongly advise against is any kind of numbing agent. A little pain can most certainly be a good thing...but not when it comes to anal, when pain is an indication that there may be damage to delicate tissues if some adjustments are not made lickety-split !!! :kiss:

 

[MR.GGG]

THE secret

to suckcessful, fun and erotic anal intercourse is .... Have HER want it as much as you do. It depends on your level of communication but when she starts giving you subtle hints, it's time to get out the KY. Whe you are having regular intercourse and she rises up, grabs your dick, repositions it at her bum and slides it in herself then this IS a very good indicatiuon that she is a tad frisky and wants to be "dirty" or naughty and ANAL fits her needs.

I'll second eilans comment too. What's good for the goose and all that. The level of trust I think improves if you let her know that whatever you do to her she can do back - no matter what. She may not want to but it can be erotic as hell and it is reassuring for her to know that you're willing to reciprocate if she wants to try that on you.

 

[juicy_kitten]

me first or you first??

just a reitteration i guess - i have a personal rule - if you want to do it to me you must first be willing for me to do it to you...would you take a cock up your arse?
and as for this guy.... i find him strangely hypnotic....

 

[SweetErika]

Listen to Wicked Woman!

I didn't read where any one told you to let her control the action....when you first put your head in hold it there, let her get used to the feeling...have her tell/show you when she's ready to have you move more...and have her push back against you.

I really wish someone had given us this advice, as it was a key to success after we had the lube and everything else down.


Simultaneous clitoral and/or g-spot stimulation is also helpful for me and some other women. It not only helps with relaxation, but it distracts me just enough to keep the muscles relaxed/not tightening involuntarily.

Don't use KY because it's for one-time insertion and won't hold up, and don't give up if it doesn't go well -- it can take many, many tries to find what works for you as a couple.

 

[TheHammerClaw]

Thank you all for your advice! This has been really helpful.

 

[weez787]

I didn't read where any one told you to let her control the action....when you first put your head in hold it there, let her get used to the feeling...have her tell/show you when she's ready to have you move more...and have her push back against you.

This is the KEY to anal success IMO. No amount of lube helped with the initital discomfort before we started doing this. Good luck!

 

[HookShot]

Work her with your fingers first, too. Once you can get two in without too much discomfort you should be ready to go all the way. But starting right off with the cock might be a bit too much!

 

[Jaqui Lynne]

Fuck her butt....

The MOST important thing is that SHE has to want it!!!

To get her going, start by licking her clit and getting her worked up. Then, work your way to her ass and start licking, rimming, etc., (you know the drill), but be as SENSUOUS as possible, you're not tearing into a piece of meat.

Gradually get around to tongue-fucking her ass...believe me, unless she's Mother Theresa she'll enjoy that. Once she begins writhing about and moaning, lube up a finger to get her used to something more penetrating.

If she's really tight, before you decide to pounce on her, start using a vibrator and gently press it against her hole and as she goes insane from the sensation, slowly allow an inch or so to get her loosened up.

If she begs for more, give her more...but only another inch or so since YOU want to be the star attraction here and you want her beggging for you prick to fill up her ass-pussy.

This should be enough...good luck!

jacqui lynne