Making a scene out of a conversation?

[tomlitilia]

I'm working on a story that turns out to have a lot of conversation in it. I typically like this, because it is easier to read the text with the extra "air" that the conversation ensures. And it's a good way to "show rather than tell."

But how do you think about creating a scene out of the conversation? Do you purposely add some description of what the characters are doing and what it looks like around them to give give the reader an image of what the scene looks like, even though it's not adding much to the story? Or do you add minimal extra information to let the focus stay on the conversation that drives the story?

Feel free to add examples of story sections where you or someone else have successfully done one or the other. Oh, and I personally won't read anything incestuous, so please don't be offended if I stay away from such suggestions.

 

[oggbashan]

You could look at this one of mine:

https://www.literotica.com/s/two-tarts-in-a-kitchen

It is almost all conversation (and short!)

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Or this one of mine...the first scene is almost entirely dialog.

About Last Night

There are a few paragraphs of narrative, but not the many.

 

[NotWise]

But how do you think about creating a scene out of the conversation? Do you purposely add some description of what the characters are doing and what it looks like around them to give give the reader an image of what the scene looks like, even though it's not adding much to the story? Or do you add minimal extra information to let the focus stay on the conversation that drives the story?

Odd, I was thinking about this last night.

In 3rd person, I try to use dialogue to tell most of the story. The tags say a lot about the characters' action and demeanor, and I use narrative to set the scene--to create the sense of place. I like to be short on narrative, so that means the descriptions need to be efficient.

Sex scenes are a little different--there's action but not so much dialogue. 1st person is also a little different because the narrator doesn't need to convey much of his input through dialogue and his narration isn't as objective as in 3rd.

 

[ElectricBlue]

But how do you think about creating a scene out of the conversation? Do you purposely add some description of what the characters are doing and what it looks like around them to give give the reader an image of what the scene looks like, even though it's not adding much to the story? Or do you add minimal extra information to let the focus stay on the conversation that drives the story?

Fully agree your comment that dialogue adds air to the story. I'm improving my ability to use dialogue, my later stories use it a lot more than earlier works.

I tend to add little details here and there as grace notes, to provide the "visual" clues that are missing in straight dialogue. Just having the words actually spoken loses the other elements of a conversation, so you need to show some of the body language as well, I think - the look and gaze, the movement of hands and fingers, smiles and frowns, that kind of detail.

This one of mine uses dialogue to establish both character and plot (more so character), along with my usual descriptive narrative - although the first half page is light on dialogue.

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-floating-world-1

 

[HandsInTheDark]

I love writing dialog. There's so much you can signal with it - interests, fears, intelligence, biases. You can make a guy a creep with a single paragraph of monologue. You can drop hints, misdirect the reader, get salacious in a way actual sex scenes rarely touch... it's all possible when people speak.

Here's a phone call between two people, Adrienne and Steve. Without any more context, by the end of the exchange you have a good idea what their relationship is, how they feel about each other, and a decent peek into their personalities.

It rang again and I picked it up. “Ring ring, Adrienne speaking, Hi Steve,” I said.

“Uh, yeah, hello to you too. Ok, now I’m begging, ok? He’s offering more money.”

“Then… yes… for two hundred and seventy five per hour, two hour minimum.”

That got me a shocked silence. I smiled.

“Baby-“

“I’m not your baby, Steve.”

“Sweetheart… there are a lot of porn models making less. These aren’t blowjobs.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have told me he was well regarded. That means rich.”

“Rich doesn’t mean stupid. You got about half that for the cover work.”

“But he wants me, doesn’t he. Look, I’m not cutting into your profit, I know you’ll just pass the cost to him.”

He hesitated. “You’ll get paid for set time only.”

“No, you’ll pay for the time I spend with your markup artists and all the rest. But I won’t charge you for time I spent talking to the customer. I’m not a whore.”

“Addy, when word gets out – and it might – you won’t land more contracts. There’s names for girls that act like this.”

“Principled? Dignified?”

“You know you’re up past the range for fetish work, right? No one does anything dignified for those kinds of rates. My last solo masturbator got one hundred dollars and she faked her fucking orgasm.”

“Well, I won’t be faking any orgasms, seeing as I won’t be having any sex.”

“At those rates he’s going to demand–“

“No pussy shots. No penetration. No masturbation. And absolutely no re-release. He and I get digital copies and I will be checking online for years, and if it shows up anywhere you and he will regret it. No copies for you.”

“Shit, Addy! I’m going to tell him exactly what you’re demanding and honestly I think you just blew a good contract for both of us. I hope you’re happy, ice bitch.”

*click*

That formed about 80% of a scene, and there was another phonecall in the scene. (For the idly curious, Adrienne gets the contract.)

 

[tomlitilia]

Thanks for the comments and suggestions. I seems most let the conversation stand rather un-narrated for long chunks of conversations. Is there anyone who avoids it?

 

[SimonDoom]

I think the best formula is to mix it up. If the dialog goes on too long without narrative it usually seems too talky to me. Pick a few authors you really like and see how they do it. Usually they mix narrative in the dialog and don't let the dialog go on too long by itself.