Make-up Sex

[dr_mabeuse]

Don't underestimate the power of anger in sex, at least from the male point of view. A lot of women love it and do all they can to provoke it. Lust and sdesire stir up something very like anger in a man, and the tension between love and anger is where a lot of the passion comes from. That's my experience anyhow.

 

[McKenna]

And what better release is an orgasm???

I've used an orgasm as a cure or release for many things.

No, I wouldn't provoke anger. I am too madly in love with my husband. The world doesn't seem to spin correctly when we're at odds.

And gentle, loving, teary-eyed sex is also very good.

But we happen to love edgy, a little bit rough, swinging from the rafters sex.

So our makeup sex can be rough and still be very great. For us.

I'm just naughty enough I might provoke. I know I've deliberately provoked a reaction from my lover before. The only thing one has to be careful of when doing that is she must be prepared to get what she asks for!

Never had make up sex.

Did fuck someone angry, once.

I hurt her, not badly, but still. Don't think I'll ever forgive myself for it.

That sounds rough, Rob. (Oh man, no pun intended!) What I mean is, that must be hard to deal with.

I'd rather fuck while we're still fighting.

Post coital make up.

YMMV.

This is not the same as a grudge fuck, correct? Or is it?

 

[CTGalPal]

I've used an orgasm as a cure or release for many things.





I'm just naughty enough I might provoke. I know I've deliberately provoked a reaction from my lover before. The only thing one has to be careful of when doing that is she must be prepared to get what she asks for!




That sounds rough, Rob. (Oh man, no pun intended!) What I mean is, that must be hard to deal with.




This is not the same as a grudge fuck, correct? Or is it?

Call me weird...but sex cures my common cold. I don't know what happens but when I am not feeling so well and I am sick in bed, all I want is sex.

I have a high fever, I want sex...

It's weird.

 

[McKenna]

Call me weird...but sex cures my common cold. I don't know what happens but when I am not feeling so well and I am sick in bed, all I want is sex.

I have a high fever, I want sex...

It's weird.

I know I'm starting to feel better when I start to get frisky. I don't think it's weird at all!

 

[Huckleman2000]

Oh.
I'm in the wrong thread.

I thought it said made-up sex. I'm pretty much an expert on that.

My bad.
Carry on, everyone.

 

[CTGalPal]

I know I'm starting to feel better when I start to get frisky. I don't think it's weird at all!

Thanks...great thread btw.

Really got my mind thinking great grudge thoughts.

 

[impressive]

This is not the same as a grudge fuck, correct? Or is it?

No. It's just capitalizing on the energy of the anger.

 

[Weepingguitar]

I almost had post break-up sex on Saturday. I'd gotten a flat tire and I needed someone to be there with me so I wouldn't freak out when wierd rednecks would try to stop and help me. My brother was at work, and I didn't have anyone other than my ex to call. He was really nice about it, and he followed me home to make sure I was okay. He stayed for a while, and one thing was starting to lead to another...but I had to stop before I completely lost my head. Lol I had to remind myself of all the reasons we broke up and try REAL hard not to think about how much I really wanted to have sex with him right at that moment.

Huzzah, I triumph. I have second guessed my decision since then, but I know I made the right choice.

 

[Belegon]

...remind me to piss Imp off....


to me, make up sex is about rechanneling. I have a lot of energy anyway and I am almost always ready for more fight, at least energy wise. I may be sick of the fight itself, but the rush of conflict hits me hard. I don't like to fight, but I do like that rush. It is very similar to the rush I get from other kinds of competition.

So I have a huge desire to put that energy to good use...

 

[thambok]

For me, a grudge f*ck and make-up sex are one and the same.

The only difference for me is my calling her a slut/whore/bitch won't stop when the sex is over.

It may be harsh, but its honest.

 

[Guest]

Interesting thought, Zoot. I hadn't thought of it as a "possession" kind of thing. I can certainly see where it's viable though, from a male perspective.

Do any females experience this possessive feeling?

I can't believe I'm getting into this one.

Ok, so, I hate make-up sex. I HATE IT. I fake orgasms, I give lousy head, I do whatever the hell it takes to get him off and get him off of me. Then I go take a shower and cry for an hour. That way he's asleep and snoring when i finally come back to bed. when he's awake and moving I want to kill him... if he's asleep he's just another inanimate object that i see no point in hurting.

I'm sure there's some deep Freudian issue behind it, but I have always hated make-up sex. It makes me feel dirty and cheap and slutty... and dammit, if i'm going to feel that way, i want it to be because of something FUN, not another damn fight over his dirty socks.

 

[elsol]

If you're having make-up sex... you probably haven't had sex in a while.

I find that make-up sex isn't so hot if I was nailing her sister during the time I was on the outs.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[elsol]

I can't believe I'm getting into this one.

Ok, so, I hate make-up sex. I HATE IT. I fake orgasms, I give lousy head, I do whatever the hell it takes to get him off and get him off of me. Then I go take a shower and cry for an hour. That way he's asleep and snoring when i finally come back to bed. when he's awake and moving I want to kill him... if he's asleep he's just another inanimate object that i see no point in hurting.

I'm sure there's some deep Freudian issue behind it, but I have always hated make-up sex. It makes me feel dirty and cheap and slutty... and dammit, if i'm going to feel that way, i want it to be because of something FUN, not another damn fight over his dirty socks.

So what you're saying is... you haven't actually 'made-up'.

When do you get over the whole 'it's make-up sex' then?

Sincerely,
elSol

 

[MissBri]

 

[thambok]

I thoght about this some more this evening, and I want to add another possibility. Most of the times I have had make-up sex were early in a relationship, when insecurity was still an issue.

Reflecting back on it, I think perhaps that insecurity added to the intensity of the sex. Those first sexual encounters with a new partner can be "interesting" as you learn how each other works. There can be missteps, and flat out mistakes. There is still an insecurity there.

But, during that make-up sex, you are so happy to be beyond the argument and back together, that you let some of those insecurities go. Inherently, that helps the make-up sex be that much better.

Just an idea.

 

[CTGalPal]

I agree with you, love. While I've done it on the rare occasion... it's because I know I'll be left alone afterwards. I don't understand why he wants to fuck me after he's obviously hurt my feelings (this almost always happens after he's been so mean, he's made me cry).


Interesting take, but I still don't see why anyone would expect you to be in the mood after fighting.


I generally agree, though my one exception will be explained in a moment.


The closest experience I have is that sex gets rid of my period cramps.

Ok, now I'll explain my one angry/make up sex experience.

My ex and I had been traveling and then living together for about six months. I was 18/19 at the time. He said he didn't want a relationship, but proclaimed his love for me one night. After that point, he continued to be slutty even though I only had eyes for him. When I went to hang out with my guy friends, he'd bust in, expecting me to be fucking one of them.

After we'd lived together for a while, he left me on a few hours' notice - his mom had offered to take care of his traffic tickets, so he was gonna go home.

I was livid at finding out he'd ditched me for his mother without any notice (especially since we'd been sharing an apartment), but I knew I'd miss him. So I had him go to the store and get me a shitload of Mad Dog 20/20, and I rode him for a long time while drinking it. Honestly, for reasons unknown, it's still some of the best sex I've ever had with a guy.

My best sex experiences was with one ex-boyfriend whom I had a push and pull relationship and always volatile and insecure.

We would fight and have make-up sex...

Angry, sad, have a cold...I think for me it's just a long overdue release of emotions.

I think it's because I don't cry and my emotions and frustrations stay bottled up inside that I release through sex.

 

[Guest]

So what you're saying is... you haven't actually 'made-up'.

When do you get over the whole 'it's make-up sex' then?

Sincerely,
elSol

Nah, once I get it out of my system I'm fine... I wake up the next morning feeling like I got hit by a truck full of vodka, but I'm fine.

I think it's just that I don't want to have sex just to make up... and that's what it feels like. "Oh, well, we can't work out our issues, so let's fuck, that'll fix it." It doesn't (trust me, folks) and all that happens is that fight gets thrown into the buried-alive-and-still-seething issues department to wait for the NEXT fight... and then we're fighting about whatever -that- was about plus the new issue.

I think it's also called burying the hatchet and leavign the handle sticking out...

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Don't underestimate the power of anger in sex, at least from the male point of view. A lot of women love it and do all they can to provoke it. Lust and sdesire stir up something very like anger in a man, and the tension between love and anger is where a lot of the passion comes from. That's my experience anyhow.

This is interesting... usually, when we fight and then have sex, this is the energy I was looking for in the first place... (dangerous territory here, stepping carefully...) I think you're right, that many women DO love and crave it and do everything they can to provoke it... in a man who isn't familiar with or comfortable with that side of himself, it can scare both of them. With a man who knows his inner dark "killer" so to speak, it's a very powerful force that can be quite exciting.

I know I've taunted him into fights just to feel that energy moving... he doesn't take bait very easily, and luckily for me, he recognizes most of the time what I'm asking for when I do it and presses me to the wall and we go for it...

I'm a lucky kitty that way

That said, we don't have that kind of "make-up sex" after real fights... fights where we're going head to head with differing views on something important... usually there's some sort of resolution at some point, and there is a release of that energy, but it's more often than not like the release of a pent-up breath, we come together, hold each other, cry sometimes... apologize... that kind of sex, if it happens, is sweet and mostly gentle... a kind of antithesis to what came before...

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Let's talk a little Freud

Sorry people, not meant as a lecture of any kind, but once I started explaining, i realised i had to give some back ground information... please forgive my ramblings.

According to Sigmund Freud, we are born with our Id. The id is an important part of our personality because as newborns, it allows us to get our basic needs met. Freud believed that the id is based on our pleasure principle. In other words, the id wants whatever feels good at the time, with no consideration for the reality of the situation. When a child is hungry, the id wants food, and therefore the child cries. When the child is uncomfortable, in pain, too hot, too cold, or just wants attention, the id speaks up until his or her needs are met.

The id doesn't care about reality, about the needs of anyone else, only its own satisfaction. When the id wants something, nothing else is important.

The second part of the personality begins to develop after the Id. Freud called this part the Ego. The ego is based on the reality principle. The ego understands that other people have needs and desires and that sometimes being impulsive or selfish can hurt us in the long run. Its the ego's job to meet the needs of the id, while taking into consideration the reality of the situation.

Then the Superego develops. The Superego is the moral part of us and develops due to the moral and ethical restraints placed on us by our caregivers. Many equate the superego with the conscience as it dictates our belief of right and wrong.

In a healthy person, according to Freud, the ego is the strongest so that it can satisfy the needs of the id, not upset the superego, and still take into consideration the reality of every situation. Not an easy job by any means, but if the id gets too strong, impulses and self gratification take over the person's life. If the superego becomes to strong, the person would be driven by rigid morals, would be judgmental and unbending in his or her interactions with the world.

So we work on the premise that it is the ego's job to satisfy the id's impulses, not offend the moralistic character of the superego, while still taking into consideration the reality of the situation. Think of the id as the 'devil on your shoulder' and the superego as the 'angel of your shoulder.' We don't want either one to get too strong so we talk to both of them, hear their perspective and then make a decision. This decision is the ego talking, the one looking for that healthy balance.

And what drives the id, ego, and superego? According to Freud, we only have two drives; sex and aggression. In other words, everything we do is motivated by one of these two drives. Sex, also called Eros or the Life force, represents our drive to live, prosper, and produce offspring. Aggression, also called Thanatos or our Death force, represents our need to stay alive and stave off threats to our existence, our power, and our prosperity.

In my opinion, make-up sex would fall into both of those categories – sex and aggression. It might not always be aggressive, but for the most part of it it is less uninhibited than “other” sex. So we have the two strongest identified human needs being fulfilled at the same time. Say no more… except that with mak-up sex the Id takes over.... and its raw and hot and sexy.

Also, from a biological perspective, some of the same biological mechanisms - like an adrenaline rush – are present when two people are fighting and when they're sexually aroused.

 

[rikaaim]

What makes it so good?


I have this theory that it has someting to do with the emotionality of it. My thoughts aren't completely formed yet, and I'd like to hear what other people's views are on the subject.


Thoughts?

I've never had make up sex. I don't think it was real make up sex anyway.

 

[rgraham666]

That sounds rough, Rob. (Oh man, no pun intended!) What I mean is, that must be hard to deal with.

Eh. We've all done things we regret.

I'm just resolved never to do such a thing again.

 

[TxRad]

Make up sex.... Yes I have, Just read any of my stories.....

Make up sex.... as in catching up on what ya missed... Nope, can't happen. Once ya missed it, it's gone forever....

Make up sex as in after a fight.....

Well, I've been married three times and all three ladies were redheads... That about covers it... Is it considered make up sex if you have sex during the argument? I'm easy going and very mellow for the most part, so marrying redheads kind of rounds things out...

I was married to my 2nd wife for 23 years and most of our arguements ended up either on the floor or in bed. We didn't plan it that way but it was the normal pattern... It was often some of the wildest sex imaginable...

Sorry, got lost down memory lane... what was the question again?

 

[McKenna]

That said, we don't have that kind of "make-up sex" after real fights... fights where we're going head to head with differing views on something important... usually there's some sort of resolution at some point, and there is a release of that energy, but it's more often than not like the release of a pent-up breath, we come together, hold each other, cry sometimes... apologize... that kind of sex, if it happens, is sweet and mostly gentle... a kind of antithesis to what came before...

"The release of a pent up breath..." I like that thought. I think make-up sex can be very gentle and tender, perhaps because subconsciously we're trying to make up for earlier aggression. It can be quite an emotional session, as we're still feeling open and raw and exposed; vulnerable.

Sorry people, not meant as a lecture of any kind, but once I started explaining, i realised i had to give some back ground information... please forgive my ramblings. ...

Also, from a biological perspective, some of the same biological mechanisms - like an adrenaline rush – are present when two people are fighting and when they're sexually aroused.

Nirvana, this was an awesome response. I've never had the ego, id and superego explained in such a way that I'd actually remember it -or consider it valid. I'm not too sure about Freud's thoughts that we're only motivated by sex or aggression, but that's not the topic here.

I agree that make-up sex is more uninhibited than other sex. I believe it's because we're so in touch with our emotions at that time and have already exposed our vulnerability. When the walls that were built are torn down, all of a sudden we see more clearly. It allows us to connect on a different level; perhaps even a more pure level.

I thought the bit about biological similarities between arousal and anger interesting; it certainly makes sense to me. Thank you for sharing! I'd say more, but you've said it all so eloquently already!

 

[BlackShanglan]

Further proof that my wires are wholly crossed.

I've never enjoyed this. I'm not sure I've ever had it, or cared to.

 

[Wildcard Ky]

I think it's all about the release of emotions. When we fight with someone we love we get all of these bad emotions boiling inside of us. The actual make up is good for releasing part of it, but there's still some of it left inside. I think that if it's true make up sex, the last of those bad feelings are purged in a primitive, carnal way.

Take the last bit of aggressive, hurt and angry feelings and channel them through your crotch so to speak.

I view make up sex as a very honest and pure thing. There's no false pretenses. Someone mentioned earlier that it's liberating. I think there's a lot of truth to that. I think it's a liberation from pent up feelings.