..Make the first move..

[SouthernGirl11]

Ok, I met this guy 4 years ago and we had a connection but I had a boyfriend, over the course of the years, we've seen each other in passing and I've always been attracted to him. Yesterday, I was shopping and saw him in a clothing store where he is the manager. We both go to the same college, I learned. I left without exchanging numbers but now I want to get coffee with him or something. Would it be insane to call him at work and give him my number? If you don't, what should I say?

(note: i know have new found respect for men when they have to make the first move!)

thanks for the input in advance

 

[Norajane]

Hi Bob, I'm sorry to bother you at work, but I had such a good time talking with you yesterday, I was wondering whether you'd like to go out for coffee on Thursday?

 

[human_male]

I'd go in in person and say hi remember me. That way he knows who you are (since it was four years ago). But defininately don't be afraid to make a move.

Go girl!

 

[427cobra]

Make whatever moves you have to make. Second chances don't come around often and if there's a connection then there's no reason not to. I agree with humanmale though, in person is best. Best of luck and cheers!

 

[thirty]

Sometimes it's very hard to say who makes the first move. Even you don't say a word, but he can get the message.

 

[Guest]

 

[SouthernGirl11]

Well, I made the first move and asked him to coffee.. he responded with

"well, if it was november I would have loved to, but I've been involved with someone since then and it wouldn't be fair to her.."

I didn't hear much he said after that.. he was extremely polite though.

I was just embarrassed and wanted to get out of the situation.. I said "thanks for being honest and the best of luck with her"..

Eh, I guess it could have went better, but atleast I tried. If it's meant to be.. it'll happen.

 

[mrdward]

Suggestion

Well, I made the first move and asked him to coffee.. he responded with

"well, if it was november I would have loved to, but I've been involved with someone since then and it wouldn't be fair to her.."

I didn't hear much he said after that.. he was extremely polite though.

I was just embarrassed and wanted to get out of the situation.. I said "thanks for being honest and the best of luck with her"..

Eh, I guess it could have went better, but atleast I tried. If it's meant to be.. it'll happen.

Try this, it might work,

"You were right, the coffee thing wasn't a good idea...how 'bout we just fuck?"

I'm thinkin' he'll be wanting to set something up.

 

[427cobra]

Well, I made the first move and asked him to coffee.. he responded with

"well, if it was november I would have loved to, but I've been involved with someone since then and it wouldn't be fair to her.."

I didn't hear much he said after that.. he was extremely polite though.

I was just embarrassed and wanted to get out of the situation.. I said "thanks for being honest and the best of luck with her"..

Eh, I guess it could have went better, but atleast I tried. If it's meant to be.. it'll happen.

The point is that you tried. You took a risk, regardless of if it had panned out or not, that's what'e most important. Plus, I bet he's kicking himself now.

 

[human_male]

Well, I made the first move and asked him to coffee.. he responded with

"well, if it was november I would have loved to, but I've been involved with someone since then and it wouldn't be fair to her.."

I didn't hear much he said after that.. he was extremely polite though.

I was just embarrassed and wanted to get out of the situation.. I said "thanks for being honest and the best of luck with her"..

Eh, I guess it could have went better, but atleast I tried. If it's meant to be.. it'll happen.

Well good for you anyway. Don't feel bad about it, feel good coz you had the balls to ask. I asked someone (she works in a shop too) for coffee and she was really noncommittal so I didn't know whether to drop it or keep trying. And hearing that the guy had a gf was probably shitty at the time, but at least he hasn't left you hanging, so now you can move to the next one.

 

[Norajane]

Well, I made the first move and asked him to coffee.. he responded with

"well, if it was november I would have loved to, but I've been involved with someone since then and it wouldn't be fair to her.."

I didn't hear much he said after that.. he was extremely polite though.

I was just embarrassed and wanted to get out of the situation.. I said "thanks for being honest and the best of luck with her"..

Eh, I guess it could have went better, but atleast I tried. If it's meant to be.. it'll happen.

I'm sorry he wasn't available, but he obviously thinks highly of you. It's also great to hear about a guy who's honest and straightforward, and is loyal to his relationships. You have great taste in guys!

And you should be totally proud of yourself for making the move. It's tough to put yourself out there like that.

 

[satchel6978]

southerngirl,

glad to hear that you had the courage to go ask him even though it didn't turn out the way you wanted. i wish i could do that. who knows, they have only been going out since november, maybe something will change his mind in your favor?