make her horny again?

[ukrocker69]

That's a load of shit dude. Ever hear the old saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." ?

I think that it is a 50/50 thing. But my point is what other things can I do to "lead the horse to water" and remind her how much she enjoys drinking... Is there a salt I can feed her to make her a little thirsty

NOTE: I don't ever think of the best thing that has ever happened to me as a horse, I just wanted to play with the metaphor.

 

[FurryFury]

You might want to give this a try:

Tell her as an experiment neither of you will come until you get together next. You can both masturbate in fact "having" to masturbate a little each day but not coming could really build desire, got it?

Now set aside a block of time after you get together again. If you will be together a day make it a few hours at least. If you will be together two days make it at least six hours to a day. During this time, you will play a game. The rules are you can each do anything to each other except touch each other's private parts.

Now play this straight and it could build desire nicely. A fun thing to do is to take off each other's clothes and see how close you can put your hands, mouth's and so on before you feel each other's body heat.

You can play with anything else. Kiss forever. Suck toes or fingers. Lick belly buttons. Just not touch private parts until the time is up.

Being denied something is one way to build desire.

This is just an off the cuff idea so use it or not as you and she wish.

Fury

 

[an_angels_wings]

I will aim to take things slower. I know I have difficulty with this sometimes as we haven't seen each other for a few days (generally I only see her weekends due to distance).

This is a good thing. My boyfriend and I shared a long distance relationship for quite some time ... we only saw each other for like a week every other month or so. And then I was going abroad to study in another country for three months, so things were a tad bit crazy. But I think, like you may be doing, we tried to make up for all those kisses (etc.) we were missing when we weren't together that things just started going too fast and we lost some of what really makes a relationship a relationship. I know it's really hard when you're in the mood and whatnot to stop and think; but I also think some men have the idea that it's only (or mostly) hard for them. I cannot tell you how turned on I get sometimes ... sometimes randomly, sometimes when we're together. But you just gotta' think about it and take control of yourself. If things are getting a little too hot and heavy, separate for a little bit; maybe just lay together, and talk or something, just to sort of keep the closeness but make it less physical and more of that emotional connection sort of stuff. It's hard, but feasible ... fortunately ... or unfortunately as the case may be for you, women have a bit of an easier time hiding their arousal than men.

We have spent a lot of the holiday period together (both of us soooo happy to have had good time together).
Sadly as a part of the festive season and my bad habit of spoiling her rotten with all the things she likes to eat (I thought I had a sweet tooth!) she has put on a little extra weight. So I'm helping her to diet by not keep buying her chocolate and cakes (even though I want them myself) and just keeping a quiet mental count on what we eat together to try and stop her/us (I'm a little more curvaceous than i was at the start of the holiday) from pigging out. It hurts me to say "no cakes" to her but she did ask me to help. We have done plenty of walking the past few days which has also done us a lot of good.

Excellent. I'm glad ya'll are doing something together. =) Just remember to use a lot of positive reinforcement, because while she asked you to help, she might get anxious and/or upset with what you think of her even though you're only telling her no for her own good and because she asked you to. Kind of screwed up logic, but it's just something to keep in mind. =)

 

[ukrocker69]

You might want to give this a try:

Tell her as an experiment neither of you will come until you get together next. You can both masturbate in fact "having" to masturbate a little each day but not coming could really build desire, got it?

Now set aside a block of time after you get together again. If you will be together a day make it a few hours at least. If you will be together two days make it at least six hours to a day. During this time, you will play a game. The rules are you can each do anything to each other except touch each other's private parts.

Now play this straight and it could build desire nicely. A fun thing to do is to take off each other's clothes and see how close you can put your hands, mouth's and so on before you feel each other's body heat.

You can play with anything else. Kiss forever. Suck toes or fingers. Lick belly buttons. Just not touch private parts until the time is up.

Being denied something is one way to build desire.

This is just an off the cuff idea so use it or not as you and she wish.

Fury

This sounds like something that would work if she were horny. If i don't try and pounce on her when we see each other then she worries about me lol.

As for not masturbating!!! I'd dye without it for a few days... oh and she doesn't do if often anyway

But i do like the idea.

 

[ukrocker69]

This is a good thing. My boyfriend and I shared a long distance relationship for quite some time ... we only saw each other for like a week every other month or so. And then I was going abroad to study in another country for three months, so things were a tad bit crazy. But I think, like you may be doing, we tried to make up for all those kisses (etc.) we were missing when we weren't together that things just started going too fast and we lost some of what really makes a relationship a relationship. I know it's really hard when you're in the mood and whatnot to stop and think; but I also think some men have the idea that it's only (or mostly) hard for them. I cannot tell you how turned on I get sometimes ... sometimes randomly, sometimes when we're together. But you just gotta' think about it and take control of yourself. If things are getting a little too hot and heavy, separate for a little bit; maybe just lay together, and talk or something, just to sort of keep the closeness but make it less physical and more of that emotional connection sort of stuff. It's hard, but feasible ... fortunately ... or unfortunately as the case may be for you, women have a bit of an easier time hiding their arousal than men.




Excellent. I'm glad ya'll are doing something together. =) Just remember to use a lot of positive reinforcement, because while she asked you to help, she might get anxious and/or upset with what you think of her even though you're only telling her no for her own good and because she asked you to. Kind of screwed up logic, but it's just something to keep in mind. =)

Thanks for the kind words. Once again you have a way of putting things that I can't hope to achieve.

Seems like your recommendation is that ever hard to reach "balance".

One thing I have noticed is that my sexual desires seem to be a little stress related. In that after the Christmas period I wasn't nearly as aggressive in my desire for sex as i have been (perhaps that has put her off even though she says it hasn't). Once back to work and I was immediately horny like I had been for the evening.

Its so much fun being a young professional; with more professional responsibility than my mother (who is also a professional) has ever had (something she pointed out to me over the holiday when telling me how proud she is of my achievements).

 

[southerngrrl]

2 cents

Might think about using your time apart to write some long, sensual emails... or even take it a step further and go the old-fashioned, but 'oh! so romantic' route of an actual letter. Some form of deeper communication... which encourages feelings of closeness and trust. Plus, if these letters or emails border on the erotic... it might turn her on! It certainly works for me! It's a no-pressure form of foreplay, because if she's not in the mood, it's ok... she doesn't have to do anything. But, she can always go back and read them again! It also goes back to what some others have mentioned about little touches, teasing... but waiting to go further. This allows you to stimulate her mentally! And let's face it... we need that before we can get turned on physically! I know I adore sexy notes from my man... he can be very sensual, almost steamy sometimes! But my favorite part... is that no matter what he writes... it meant he was thinking about me!

Best of luck to you both!

 

[rydia57]

a penny's worth...

All I know is if I've been having sex like clockwork, say two or three times a week... and suddenly I'm not having it at all. I get horny. When I'm with a guy I'm really turned on by, I get wet and he hasn't even touched me yet. Sounds like she needs a vacation or escape for a few days.

 

[an_angels_wings]

Thanks for the kind words. Once again you have a way of putting things that I can't hope to achieve.

Seems like your recommendation is that ever hard to reach "balance".

One thing I have noticed is that my sexual desires seem to be a little stress related. In that after the Christmas period I wasn't nearly as aggressive in my desire for sex as i have been (perhaps that has put her off even though she says it hasn't). Once back to work and I was immediately horny like I had been for the evening.

Its so much fun being a young professional; with more professional responsibility than my mother (who is also a professional) has ever had (something she pointed out to me over the holiday when telling me how proud she is of my achievements).

You might consider some form of exercise/cardio regimen. That sort of thing is great for stress ... and you might inspire her to do so and whatnot. I once read somewhere about the couple that works out together, has more sex together. Even though you're long distance a bit, it could still work somehow. But yeah, find an outlet for stress so that when you do get aroused, perhaps it would be easier to control. =)

And yes, "balance" is difficult ... but isn't it worth it?

 

[wickedlady31]

how

old is she? Women tend to get hornier with age...where men..as testosterone levels decrease lose their libido or some of the potency beginning as early as 27

if she is 27 up..she will be hornier...
other than that..it is all up to her honestly...not much you can do but ease off on pressuring as if she feels obligated..she wont want sex

 

[eisenberg12]

I used to have the same type of relationship. When we both were in school we only got to see eachother on weekends and we fucked like crazy then for those 2 days and then it was back to school for both of us.

After a year her libido slowed down quite a bit. It was due to alot of stress in her life but also she was just "oversexed". It happens quit regularly in women 23-30. They lose interest in sex just naturally because of the hormones in their bodies.

What worked for me was we would have sex every other weekend. On the off weekends we would just fool around. (you'll get very good at oral). Try nibbling down her thighs and around her knee. The inside of the knee is actually a very hot spot. Also don't forget about the neck and breast. Learn to give her a G spot orgasm. That will definately make her very aroused. Last but not least.....BE ROMANTIC. Most men stop being romantic after awhile and just go through the motions. Give her a massage, have a picnic, nibble her neck as she does the dishes, or whatever you want. Also ask her yourself what's wrong. Maybe she just needs someone to talk to.

Hope this helps and good luck.

 

[ukrocker69]

I think that this weekend I have come a step closer to the problem.

It is all down to her self image thing. For some reason she was getting better and better at being happy with herself but now she has gone two steps back.

She doesn't like her body. she hates her vagina. And there is nothing more off putting for sex when I'm trying to set a mood. we are playing with each other then she tells me to stop using my hands on her "down below parts" cos she doesn't like how they are. then starts asking me if i like her vagina (does the pope shit in the woods? is the bear catholic?) of course I do but that is her worked up and any chance of good sex out the window.

I tell her she is beautiful. I point out to her that I have difficulty keeping my hands off her if she is naked or in her under ware cos she makes me horny and I want to be with her.

I tell her sexy things in emails and texts. I tell her naughty things. i tell her sweet things. nothing seems to make her happy with who she is. and the more that we have not so good sex or it doesn't happen due to her anxiety the more often things don't cook.

I'm not sure if i'm doing something wrong somewhere or if it is something with her (she is an over emotional thing at the best of times, starts crying if she reads a sad headline in the paper occasionally etc...).

Ladies, what makes you feel good about yourself?
What makes you feel beautiful?

I buy her nice things. I offer her even more stuff now that I have the money and try and give her all the time and attention I can but it seems in vain half the time. she never seems happy with the person she is

 

[ukrocker69]

old is she? Women tend to get hornier with age...where men..as testosterone levels decrease lose their libido or some of the potency beginning as early as 27

if she is 27 up..she will be hornier...
other than that..it is all up to her honestly...not much you can do but ease off on pressuring as if she feels obligated..she wont want sex

she is 20

 

[an_angels_wings]

Unfortunately there's nothing you can do ... except continue to offer the positive reinforcement. Buying her things, etc., are and might be nice, but beware of the message that you may be sending. She needs to be okay with herself ... and that's either got to be something you accept and work through with her, or it might be the end of your relationship together. I dunno if I can really offer much more than that. =\ It's gotta' come from within her.

 

[ukrocker69]

Unfortunately there's nothing you can do ... except continue to offer the positive reinforcement. Buying her things, etc., are and might be nice, but beware of the message that you may be sending. She needs to be okay with herself ... and that's either got to be something you accept and work through with her, or it might be the end of your relationship together. I dunno if I can really offer much more than that. =\ It's gotta' come from within her.

I will continue to try. Thanks for your help and suggestions.