make her horny again?

[ukrocker69]

I'm a 23yo guy. In a relationshit with a lovely girl.
We are in love. Sadly she has lost some of her hornyness. Whatever i try there seems to be no method of making her horny. It only happens semi randomly and not always when its best for me. Any tips from Lit women or men on how to make your woman horny?

 

[TheEru]

I'm a 23yo guy. In a relationshit with a lovely girl.
We are in love. Sadly she has lost some of her hornyness. Whatever i try there seems to be no method of making her horny. It only happens semi randomly and not always when its best for me. Any tips from Lit women or men on how to make your woman horny?

It really depends on the situation and what sort of person your girlfriend is. One thought might be to reintroduce spontenaiety into sex. Often in a relationship the act of sex becomes very similar each time (you are in bed together, you start kissing, etc.) which can make sex feel very mechanical (which it shouldn't be). Perhaps if you surprised her one night with some fun lingerie and told her how sexy you think she is (and how good she would look in it), by getting frisky somewhere (a little) public, by putting some handcuffs on the bed, or any number of other things based on her (and your) tastes.

Also, be romantic. If she thinks that you expect sex just because you are in a relationship, it could turn her off. Women want to be desired, not expected.

 

[Barbdreams]

First of all, is there something going on in her life that could be affecting her sex drive? Outside stresses can definately play a role in the loss of libido.

If not, mix it up a bit. Try some new things, play out some fantasies, etc.

Good luck!

 

[ukrocker69]

It really depends on the situation and what sort of person your girlfriend is. One thought might be to reintroduce spontenaiety into sex. Often in a relationship the act of sex becomes very similar each time (you are in bed together, you start kissing, etc.) which can make sex feel very mechanical (which it shouldn't be). Perhaps if you surprised her one night with some fun lingerie and told her how sexy you think she is (and how good she would look in it), by getting frisky somewhere (a little) public, by putting some handcuffs on the bed, or any number of other things based on her (and your) tastes.

Also, be romantic. If she thinks that you expect sex just because you are in a relationship, it could turn her off. Women want to be desired, not expected.

Thanks both for your ideas.

sadly she is shy and only feels confident with the lights out... despite met telling her how beautifull she is every day (and she is beautifull). sadly she hates that she was born with (the most georgeous) curves... she thinks she is fat I can't conince her otherwise.

spontinaety is hard. I have tried cleaning my place top to bottom, buying flowers etc... and when she gets in she isn't in the mood for anything other than watching TV.

I know that the "ho0neymoon"/"fuck like rabbits" part of the relationship is over. I just wish i could find some "magic trick" for getting her turned on. I have bought her nice underware in the past but she hasn't wornh it often and doesn't feel sexy (self image issue) and haven't found any music that sets the mood for her or anything

 

[wilmnc]

have you tried some deep house music?

 

[ukrocker69]

have you tried some deep house music?

no. as you can tell by my name we prefer to have something like Led Zeppelin in the background. but if the idea is lots of bass then I have an idea of artists who have lots of bass in their music

 

[Ctoago]

I think you need to stop having sex. You need to tease her. Touch her arm, give her a neck and shoulders massage, touch her everywhere but the regular erogenous zones. Look at her. Tell her (briefly) how you want to fuck her. Make her want it.

Take the sex (and pressure) out of the bedroom - but let her know she turns you on. In the pub at night - a rub of the inner thigh. In the supermarket - whisper what you would like to do. But make her wait. Tease her until she's hot. (I know it works for me, lol.)

Good luck.

 

[ukrocker69]

I think you need to stop having sex. You need to tease her. Touch her arm, give her a neck and shoulders massage, touch her everywhere but the regular erogenous zones. Look at her.

will try and do this more. I need to add I only see her weekends (normaly) due to us liveing and working in different places (2 hours by train apart).

Tell her (briefly) how you want to fuck her. Make her want it.

Tried this and she tells me to shhhhhhh in public lol

Take the sex (and pressure) out of the bedroom - but let her know she turns you on. In the pub at night - a rub of the inner thigh. In the supermarket - whisper what you would like to do. But make her wait. Tease her until she's hot. (I know it works for me, lol.)

I do this... she likes being told she is beautiful but it doesn't turn her on

 

[Ctoago]

...
I do this... she likes being told she is beautiful but it doesn't turn her on

OK - bad news first. Is she maybe just not sexual? Only you know if this is worth it.

But - maybe she's just young and shy and needs a little corrupting. Like I said, try taking the pressure off. Foreplay is a fabulous thing, experiment. Has she told you what she likes? What turns her on?

If she's worth it - go for it. (But remember, you're only 23 - a lotta fish in that sea.)

 

[ukrocker69]

OK - bad news first. Is she maybe just not sexual? Only you know if this is worth it.

she is or rather can be. We used to fuck like mad all the time. obviously that was same as most relationships in the early days. we still have sex but not as often as i would like

But - maybe she's just young and shy and needs a little corrupting. Like I said, try taking the pressure off. Foreplay is a fabulous thing, experiment. Has she told you what she likes? What turns her on?

I ask her what turns her on and she just says "nothing realy... you (me)" and thats all i can get out of her. no fantasies or anything.

If she's worth it - go for it. (But remember, you're only 23 - a lotta fish in that sea.)

yeah

 

[Ctoago]

Lol - go spank her ass, then pee on her. You'll find out if that turns her on or not.

J/k!!

Sounds like she's shy, or just not too confident. Again, slow is the way to go. How about alcohol + truth or dare/20 questions? You need to get her to tell you what works, and you need to listen, maybe even just to the little noises she makes.

(Happy avatar!)

 

[ukrocker69]

Lol - go spank her ass, then pee on her. You'll find out if that turns her on or not.

tempting

Sounds like she's shy, or just not too confident. Again, slow is the way to go. How about alcohol + truth or dare/20 questions? You need to get her to tell you what works, and you need to listen, maybe even just to the little noises she makes.

drink makes her sleepy

(Happy avatar!)

YAY thanx. Will have to think what i want now

 

[O2]

Horny again?

ukrocker69,

Sure you're not married?

You sound a great deal like my wife and I and we've been married 25+ years....

She was a virgin when we met, we have two wonderful daughters but her self-esteem is nil....

I tell her I lust after her, have gone the romantic route, sought counseling (she won't go)....all to stimulate her libido.....

She's a tigress when I've been gone for a week or when she's just off her period....other than that nothing.

You just have to find something the gets her going (mel gibson or sean connery movies for my bride)

Be patient with her and make sure she knows you live for her body and mind.....

 

[incubus'_sub]

If you're only 23, then there hasn't been time for the honeymoon period to be over. You have to do something now with this girl, or break up & find yourself a more satisfying partner. Otherwise you're going to be stuck in an unsatisfying relationship, maybe for life. Eeeekkk.

I have no patience with these girls who turn it on to "get" their man, probably faking a horniness they've never really felt, then turning it off again when they feel secure & don't feel the need to bother anymore.

Don't suck up to her, be honest with her & demand that she be honest with you. Does she want to continue in this relationship or not? If she does, then she has to make an effort too & if having sex is too much effort for her now, say goodbye or it will continue forever. Next time she says she is fat, don't allow the excuse. Just say, well, lose some weight then, if you're not happy with the way you look, because you need more than the odd fumble under the sheets in the dark.

You're a young man. Don't waste your time with someone who won't meet you half way, but be fair. Tell her plainly that the relationship is not working for you & why. Give her the opportunity to make an effort if she chooses to. If she doesn't, look elsewhere.

 

[numberonepal]

I'm a 23yo guy. In a relationshit with a lovely girl.
We are in love. Sadly she has lost some of her hornyness. Whatever i try there seems to be no method of making her horny. It only happens semi randomly and not always when its best for me. Any tips from Lit women or men on how to make your woman horny?

It's your job to get her hot dude. Do not forget this. If you want her to be hot for you, then you gotta make it happen. There's a million ways to do this and plenty of advice on this forum on ideas and techniques on how to do this. I suspect she's not an initiator and needs guidance from you. So be in charge and don't act otherwise. Be the man you want to be in your mind and it will make a world of difference in your relationship.

 

[numberonepal]

You're a young man. Don't waste your time with someone who won't meet you half way, but be fair. Tell her plainly that the relationship is not working for you & why. Give her the opportunity to make an effort if she chooses to. If she doesn't, look elsewhere.

Solid advice

 

[naxalite0906]

I'm a 23yo guy. In a relationshit with a lovely girl.
We are in love. Sadly she has lost some of her hornyness. Whatever i try there seems to be no method of making her horny. It only happens semi randomly and not always when its best for me. Any tips from Lit women or men on how to make your woman horny?

I know how this feels... its all scarily like stuff ive been thru before.. I wish you all the luck in figuring it out, I never managed to unfortunately but I hope things work out better for you.

 

[naamplao]

You say the "honeymoon" period is over....how long have you known her??

If it is a few months then there is perhaps problems with the relationship in general and she cannot find a way to tell you it is over. If you have known her for a couple of years then perhaps it is becoming same-old, same-old.

Perhaps you are focusing too much on the act and not enough on being with her in general. Do you do more things with her?

 

[an_angels_wings]

You can tell a woman she's beautiful until you're blue in the face but her confidence has to come from within ... with careful help from the outside. As a curvaceous woman myself, I can honestly tell you that yes, it does feel good to be told we're beautiful even though we think we're fat. But we're still self-conscious about it. We see the thinner women on television or at the market or something, and we stop and wonder if you'd rather be with her ... or if you fantasize about it or something. And then we berate ourselves for thinking that because we're supposed to have love and trust in our relationship, but past experience has given us that little doubt because there are so many things that tell us our curves are not beautiful or desired.

I think you need to stop having sex. You need to tease her. Touch her arm, give her a neck and shoulders massage, touch her everywhere but the regular erogenous zones. Look at her. Tell her (briefly) how you want to fuck her. Make her want it.

This sounds like it could work. Sex may have just become routine ... perhaps she feels like all she's good for to you is for sex. Her wanting to watch television may be, perhaps, some way of her testing how long you can tolerate being around her without doing anything physical. Even if she has zero body confidence, there may be a little voice in her saying he wants me because I'm giving him what he wants (sex) ... or something. It's weird, I know. To be perfectly honest, nothing gets/got me hotter than just kissing and making out with my boyfriend. Honestly, you're on the couch, the TV may be on ... but instead of worrying about having to have sex ... you just kiss like you used to in the beginning of the relationship when making out was fun. A gentle squeeze at the hip/on the bum, the lack of pressure of knowing that in the back of your head there'll be five more minutes of this kissing before the clothes have to come off. Let her initiate sex. You can initiate the kissing, but perhaps you should hold off on the tearing off of the clothes until she can't take it anymore and she initiates it.

Also, do keep telling her she's beautiful; verbal encouragement and physical actions to reinforce them really do work wonders. Perhaps, even, the next time she says she's fat, you could ask her what she wants to do about that. Tell her you don't think she is, but you're willing to work with her/support her in whatever she wants to do to help that or something. Let's say she wants to start a diet ... don't order take out the next weekend you're together or something. Or maybe make her a CD or something that she can listen to while going walking or something ... do something physical (perhaps aside from sex!) on the weekends you're together. If she's doing something, she'll feel better about herself, and that'll translate into her physicality in your relationship.

... I hope most of this made sense. I've got an insanely awful headache and I fear it'll be debilitating.

 

[Juggle5]

Hi, UkRocker69,
Go to this thread, and read as far as you have the patience for (95 pages and still growing.)

Try it out, maybe it'll do the trick.

Juggle5

 

[Torne]

It's your job to get her hot dude. Do not forget this. If you want her to be hot for you, then you gotta make it happen. There's a million ways to do this and plenty of advice on this forum on ideas and techniques on how to do this. I suspect she's not an initiator and needs guidance from you. So be in charge and don't act otherwise. Be the man you want to be in your mind and it will make a world of difference in your relationship.

That's a load of shit dude. Ever hear the old saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." ?

 

[FurryFury]

Ask yourself and her this, what has changed since the time she was horny to now?

That is the key.

Fury

 

[ukrocker69]

If you're only 23, then there hasn't been time for the honeymoon period to be over. You have to do something now with this girl, or break up & find yourself a more satisfying partner. Otherwise you're going to be stuck in an unsatisfying relationship, maybe for life. Eeeekkk.

Thing is when she is horny we do go at it and its good.

While i may not be with her in 5 or more years time. I have no reason to want to break up with her. She is (for me at this stage in my life won't know about the future) perfect in every way.

You say the "honeymoon" period is over....how long have you known her??

we have been together for about two and a half years.
By the end of the honeymoon period I mean that we no longer just spend our time eating and fucking. Not all of her habits are "cute" any more... if this makes sense.

If it is a few months then there is perhaps problems with the relationship in general and she cannot find a way to tell you it is over. If you have known her for a couple of years then perhaps it is becoming same-old, same-old.

Possibly same-old same-old but outside of sex the relationship is fulfilling etc... Its not like we don't have sex, I just want it more than she does.

Perhaps you are focusing too much on the act and not enough on being with her in general. Do you do more things with her?

Lots of things, we go places, eat out often. we love cuddling up and watching films. We go to clubs sometimes. it's all good

You can tell a woman she's beautiful until you're blue in the face but her confidence has to come from within ... with careful help from the outside. As a curvaceous woman myself, I can honestly tell you that yes, it does feel good to be told we're beautiful even though we think we're fat. But we're still self-conscious about it. We see the thinner women on television or at the market or something, and we stop and wonder if you'd rather be with her ... or if you fantasize about it or something. And then we berate ourselves for thinking that because we're supposed to have love and trust in our relationship, but past experience has given us that little doubt because there are so many things that tell us our curves are not beautiful or desired.

I am humbled by the way in which a woman can describe these emotions far better than I ever can. This is exactly thee situation with her self confidence.

This sounds like it could work. Sex may have just become routine ... perhaps she feels like all she's good for to you is for sex. Her wanting to watch television may be, perhaps, some way of her testing how long you can tolerate being around her without doing anything physical. Even if she has zero body confidence, there may be a little voice in her saying he wants me because I'm giving him what he wants (sex) ... or something. It's weird, I know. To be perfectly honest, nothing gets/got me hotter than just kissing and making out with my boyfriend. Honestly, you're on the couch, the TV may be on ... but instead of worrying about having to have sex ... you just kiss like you used to in the beginning of the relationship when making out was fun. A gentle squeeze at the hip/on the bum, the lack of pressure of knowing that in the back of your head there'll be five more minutes of this kissing before the clothes have to come off. Let her initiate sex. You can initiate the kissing, but perhaps you should hold off on the tearing off of the clothes until she can't take it anymore and she initiates it.

I will aim to take things slower. I know I have difficulty with this sometimes as we haven't seen each other for a few days (generally I only see her weekends due to distance).

Also, do keep telling her she's beautiful; verbal encouragement and physical actions to reinforce them really do work wonders. Perhaps, even, the next time she says she's fat, you could ask her what she wants to do about that. Tell her you don't think she is, but you're willing to work with her/support her in whatever she wants to do to help that or something. Let's say she wants to start a diet ... don't order take out the next weekend you're together or something. Or maybe make her a CD or something that she can listen to while going walking or something ... do something physical (perhaps aside from sex!) on the weekends you're together. If she's doing something, she'll feel better about herself, and that'll translate into her physicality in your relationship.

We have spent a lot of the holiday period together (both of us soooo happy to have had good time together).
Sadly as a part of the festive season and my bad habit of spoiling her rotten with all the things she likes to eat (I thought I had a sweet tooth!) she has put on a little extra weight. So I'm helping her to diet by not keep buying her chocolate and cakes (even though I want them myself) and just keeping a quiet mental count on what we eat together to try and stop her/us (I'm a little more curvaceous than i was at the start of the holiday) from pigging out. It hurts me to say "no cakes" to her but she did ask me to help. We have done plenty of walking the past few days which has also done us a lot of good.

... I hope most of this made sense. I've got an insanely awful headache and I fear it'll be debilitating.

Beautiful sense

 

[ukrocker69]

Ask yourself and her this, what has changed since the time she was horny to now?

That is the key.

Fury

In large she was unwell for some time with her wisdom teeth growing which stopped her enjoying sex so much (often hurt worst in the evening when we were somewhere where we could climb into bed to have sex rather than on one of our enjoyable daytime trips).

That and I think its just that we aren't at the point in our relationship where all we want to do together is:
have sex and break it up by watching bits of films (halfway through the film one of us would jump the other) and ordering/eating take out food. Then waking up in the middle of the night and having sex before sleeping till early morning and wakening up and having sex and then sleeping a little more before waking up having sex. showering, drying off and having sex...

That's what I mean by the honeymoon period. While I no longer wish for this to be the nature of our relationship (we have a strong loving mental bond)... And I'm amazed at how I was able to have sex and perform that many times in 24 hours. Id just like a little more than I'm getting and want to know tips on what I can do to "set the mood".

 

[ukrocker69]

Hi, UkRocker69,
Go to this thread, and read as far as you have the patience for (95 pages and still growing.)

Try it out, maybe it'll do the trick.

Juggle5

The link was posted incorrectly. For anyone who wants to read the thread try here:
Try This & Report Back

Thanks for the link, I think I saw that thread but have not tried it. The whole shy factor means she doesn't like the idea of anything that involves her bum being pointing out in the air... Despite the fact that I think she has the most beautiful bottom in the world.