M50 Australia - Single, scared and lonely

[ascouric1973]

Hi All

M50 in Melbourne Australia, I’m single after a 27 year relationship. Living alone for the first time. Would love to chat with someone if you are interested.

Thanks
Richard

 

[TryinToFigureItOut84]

May I ask what you’re scared of?

 

[ascouric1973]

I’m scared of never meeting someone. I’m scared of being alone and scared of intimacy with someone new.

 

[TryinToFigureItOut84]

It maybe scary, but if you want to be with somebody, you have to be willing to put yourself out there. I can guarantee you that dating now and dating 27 years ago is completely different. There is going to be a lot of rejection, ghosting, lonely times still.

And while it sucks, now may be a time where you learn about who you are as a single person. Get to know yourself again as Richard. Not Richard and (your partner). Think about what you want, need, heal.

Intimacy with somebody can be scary, but it can also be fun getting to know somebody again. I strongly suggest to be open and honest about your feelings and your needs when you start dating. Some may say it’s not worth it, some may you’re being bossy, have to many expectations. That just tells you they are not right for you.

You may find that this may be a time where you experiment with different desires and enjoy different people.

I strongly suggest you look at hobbies and find some things that are close by to get you out and around other people.

 

[cutcrystal]

I too know, first hand what dating is like these days. Ghosting is an issue, as are "no replies" to messages, fake profiles (age, locations and photos do not tie up with ones people share), and endless scammers. They ask for: money for groceries, to set up businesses, mobile phone data, talk time, payment for photos or sex, or expect you to buy sex toys, iPads or iPhones for them, and every other imaginable excuse for why they need money.

Genuine people are out there though in my experience they can comprise about 2% of members on some sites. You get what you pay for, so high end sites with on the ball scam detection algorithms are more likely to find you worthwhile connection.

And intimacy means risk. Healthy risk. I go in knowing I could get hurt. Though I do know that I shall be ok no matter what. And I know what to say no to - fake profiles, scammers and narcissistic site members.

At 65 I have learned through experience. And it's feel the fear and do it anyway. And act as if you're going be ok - in doing that I found that I was indeed OK no matter what.