Lust In War, Love In Peacetime (Closed)

silvertongue217

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The mortars were going off all around him.

They peppered the battlefield a never ending crescendo of light, sound, and fire. Every once in a while another sound would mix in the sound of some one screaming in pain or loss. In short it was hell on earth and the fact that it was happening in the beautiful England country side only pissed him off more.

"Get your head out of your ass Clay!" His lieutenant growled grabbing him by his shoulders and giving him a firm shake "We need covering fire!"

Clay looked back his hands tightening on his riffle as he locked eyes with his commanding officer. Dark as night and with hard brown eyes, it was hard to believe lieutenant James Brown was a meat packer from Harlem. Normally the story of a meat packer turned Lieutenant was one of heroism and courage. However Clay knew that the tittle was a joke in Browns case given to him to keep control of the "fucking apes" it didnt account for much beside that and it certainly wouldnt as the war kept going.

Clay gritted his teeth looking at his fellow men of color. Most were darker then him, his mothers Spanish heritage contrasting with his fathers black. Of course as the Reverend back home used to say "black is black" in this world at least. When he signed up and joined the war front he was given the same treatment as all the others. Not that he would have wanted it any different.

For better or worse these were his people

"I cant believe were fucking here" Bubba said as another mortar went off by them "This shits going to get us all killed!"

Clay snorted unable to stop himself from nodding even as he popped his head out and aimed down the sights. He fired off two quick shots, one caught the attilary gunner in the shoulder but the other missed dinging off the metal shell. Clay swore and dropped back down ducking his head as the artillery gunner bombed their location.

"I wont be able to get a shot like this sir" Clay said glancing at Brown "And there just going to keep bombing us.... We need to move"

"No!" Another man said a kid fresh from boot "Were going to get destroyed! No fuck this! I aint dying for no white man"

Lieutenant Brown turned smacking the kid hard. He toppled into the mood gasping and blinking with wide eyes as Brown towered over him.

"Son we arent dying for any race" Brown growled his teeth clenched "If we die its for our country... For the ones we love at home, we do what we do for them to protect them you got a family son?"

"I do" The kid said getting up and shaking "A couple sisters"

"Good" Brown said helping him up and keeping him steady "Dont do it for any one but them you understand me?

"Yes sir!"

"Alright" Brown said turning back to the ladder leading up from the trench "I wont lie guys this is going to be rough... All I can tell you to do is to run as fast as you can and try to take those bastards out before they take us out"

Clay watched the others tense up and nod and he turned steeling himself as well. He cast his mind back to his family thinking about his mother and little brother. The money he made as a solider went to them to keep them out of the poor house and in a small but comfortable one bedroom back in Harlem. Of course his mother hadnt wanted him to go to this "God Forsaken War" but what option did he have? There wasnt much else for a Latino Black besides the gangs.

Which she made him promise he would not join

"Read men? Charge!"

He was ripped out of his thoughts by the yelling of the men. Brown was the first one up pushing himself out of the trench and running full pelt to the artillery line. Clay went next and soon he was flying down the battlefield his riffle raised as he gave them all covering fire. He let the memories fade away focusing on the pounding of his boots as he raced with the others to the encampment.

They almost made it

He and Brown were the only two hit since they were the most immediate threat. The mortar was off but close enough that Clay was thrown catapulted into the air at the same time Brown was ripped in half. Clay watched the life fade out of his eyes in slow motion almost as if God wanted to make sure the point really stuck before he released his grip on Clay.

Clay hurtled down to earth slamming into the ground with enough force to knock the air out of him. He felt the mud splatter his face and suddenly he was looking up at a clear dreary sky. He waited for the pain to come but there was none only a sense of nothing and dull senses. He opened his mouth to try to speak but found he could not, nor could he move.

So instead he dreamed

He dreamed of his last family dinner and every one ooohing and aaaing at his army suit. He was a sight with his clean shaven black hair, his piercing green eyes, and his large imposing figure. He dreamed about the way his mom looked at him so proud and yet so sad. He dreamed about his brother who treated him as if he was his personal hero.

And he kept dreamed even as the battle faded away. He dreamed as the world faded black. He slipped into the darkness just as he was finally found and put on a stretcher. He didnt even know he had been saved all he knew was that the dreams were so much better than this.

Better than this hell.
 
Eleanor Grace Hamilton cupped the cool, clean water of the washbasin in her delicate hands and carefully splashed it over her face. The cold water was jarring, but it helped some.

She'd just finished assisting one of the doctors during a surgery to try and save a young soldier that had been shot during a battle. Unfortunately the young man had already lost too much blood by the time he'd made it to the infirmary and hadn't made it through the surgery.

It wasn't the first time she had watched one of the soldiers die, not by a long shot, but she still wasn't used to it. She didn't think she would ever get used to it. She looked into the small mirror someone had placed next to the wash basin, clear blue eyes looking back at her, and reminded herself not to focus on the men that had been lost to this awful war, but on the ones that were still out there and needed her help.

Noting in the mirror her now damp ivory skin and the stray strands of sandy colored hair that had fallen out from where she had elegantly pinned it back under her nurse's cap that morning, she couldn't help but smile ever so slightly at the thought of what her mother would think if she saw her in that moment. Probably pretty close to the same as what she had thought about her daughter becoming a war nurse in the first place: that she was absolutely insane.

According to her mother a pretty young lady with as much "good breeding" and status as Ellie had no place going off to a war zone. Apparently Ellie's time studying nursing at one of the most prestigious private liberal arts women's colleges on the east coast wasn't supposed to actually go to use, and she should just focus on finding herself a suitable husband now despite the fact that there was now a war on and the country was in desperate need of nurses to enlist.

"Ellie, you've got a new one!" someone called to her, breaking her from her thoughts.

Ellie quickly patted her face dry and straightened her white nurse's uniform that draped nicely over her lithe hourglass frame before hurrying out from the makeshift break room and instantly spotting some men bringing an unconscious soldier in on a stretcher, and instructed them on which medical bed to place him so that she could begin to take a look at him. One of the doctors would be over as soon as they could, but until then it was her job to check his vitals and try to make him as comfortable as possible. She gently took his hand in hers, feeling his wrist to check his pulse.

"Alright there big guy, time to come back to us now," she coaxed in a soothing tone, trying to rouse him.
 
The world came back to him slowly

It was almost like swimming back to the surface slowly. Every thing around him was murky at first with sounds and colors muted and unclear. There was a faint ringing in his ear almost as if he was still on the battlefield and under attack.

Under attack

The flashes of light and smoke resurfaced and he felt his heart rate pick up as his hands began to open and close rapidly. He began to jerk struggling to get out of his bonds and back up before he died.

It was then that he heard the voice

"Alright there big guy, time to come back to us now,"

It was sweet... To sweet almost like music. It was just then that his eyes sight cleared and snapped back into surface. He starred his mouth agape slightly as a beautiful woman appeared in front of him. She was stunning with soft skin and eyes. It didnt hit him at first that her skin was a creamy ivory color and even after it had he continued to stare at her openly.

"Is this heaven" He coughed out shaking his head from side to side "Am I.... Am I dead?"
 
Ellie was slightly taken aback when the soldier opened his eyes and she noticed their piercing green color. Dirty and splattered in mud as he was, it was hard to tell the exact shade of his skin, but from what she could tell it was darker, making the green stand out in contrast.

To be honest she'd hardly taken note of his skin color until that moment. As an army nurse it was her job to take care of the soldiers, regardless of their skin color, and it was a job that she took a lot of pride in. She was more worried about keeping a man alive than the color of his skin.

She was relieved when she saw his eyes begin to clear and come into focus as he looked up at her. She was even more relieved when he began to speak, but the spike in his heart rate and the way he'd been jerking concerned her and she did her best to try to soothe him.

"No big guy you're definitely alive...and you're going to stay that way if I have anything to say about it," she told him reassuringly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before adding, "Are you in any pain? What's your name soldier?"

Her eyes gazed over his form, checking for any visible injuries that needed her attention.
 
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"My-M-My name?" Clay said as the world once again swam. The woman began to move out of his edge of vision and he reached out taking her hand and gripping it with surprising strength as he struggled to focus.

"Clay" He managed to get out as he kept a firm grip on her hand "Dont... Dont go" He asked her his voice pleading.

He felt his world beginning to swim and tip over and his head fell to the pillow. His last look was of her peering at him anxiously and then just like that....

He was out

When he came back to it was night, there was a storm going on outside and he could hear the rythmic pattern of the rain against the window.

"Water?" He choked out looking around for some one to help him.
 
Worry flooded Ellie as she noticed Clay's eyes begin to lose focus again and he suddenly gripped her hand.

"Don't... Don't go."

She was surprised by the strength in his grip and the urgency in his tone as he pleaded with her not to leave, her heart going out to him as she realized how scared he must be. God only knew what he must have just gone through out there on the battle field.

"I'm right here, Clay. I'm not going anywhere," she promised him as she squeezed his hand back in return, "I'm right here..."

And then suddenly he was out again.

It was hours later until she finally heard him stir again. By then he'd already been examined by the doctor, cleaned up, and had a fresh hospital robe put on him. She'd had other duties to attend to as the day went on, but she'd made sure to keep her promise, never straying far. She wanted to make sure that she was there when he woke up again. She'd even spent her breaks sitting in a high backed wooden chair she'd placed next to his bed by the window. That was where she sat now, watching the storm outside through the glass.

"Water?"

She jumped slightly in surprise as she realized he'd woken, and quickly rose to meet his request. Hurrying over to a small bedside table where a pitcher of water and glass had been placed, she quickly filled the glass and brought it over to him.

"Here you are," she told him, placing her hand on the back of his neck and gently helping him raise his head as she brought the glass to his lips for him to drink.
 
The angel handed him a glass of water and he took it his hands slightly shaking as he sat up. The word threatened to tip over and spin but he gritted his teeth sucking the air in through it as he waited for his stomach to settle.

"Thank you" He finally said relaxing and bringing the cup up to his lips. He tipped it taking a long slow sip of his water before bringing it back down. The water helped him made it almost feel normal. He took another sip this time savoring it before putting it back down.

"You stayed" He said his eyes soft and kind as he looked at her "Thank you" He told her speaking honestly and with the utmost kindness.

"So where am I?" He finally asked looking around "Are we close to the front lines?" he asked his voice showing a touch of fear.
 
Ellie watched closely as Clay struggled to sit up, noting the way his strong hands shook and his handsome face looked pinched as he sucked in air through gritted teeth, prepared to step in and help him if it looked like he was about to black out again but letting him do it on his own for now. She knew how strong a soldier's pride could be and didn't want to wound his if she could help it. She was relieved though when she saw his body relax and he began to sip at the water, her own body losing some of it's tension.

She was a little taken aback by the softness and kindness in his eyes and voice when he thanked her for staying with him and felt a slight blush creep into her fair cheeks, thankful that it was currently night and hoping he wouldn't notice in the dim light.

"No, not close to the front lines," she assured him quickly, noting the touch of fear in his voice, "You're at a military general hospital in Bristol."
 
He relaxed at her words some of the tension leaving his body as he breathed out in relief.

"Thats good" He said wincing as another bolt of pain lanced through his body "I would hate for some one like you to be in any danger" He said laying and putting on a brave face as he shifted and tried to get comfortable.

"Still were a long way from home" He said glancing out the window and frowning "Where is home for you darling?" He asked taking another measured sip of water as he turned to give her his full attention.
 
"I'm from Boston," Ellie replied, sitting back down in her chair and scooting it a little closer to the head of Clay's bed so that they would be able to talk more easily and so that she would be able to keep a closer eye on him now that he was up. She'd noticed him wince and knew he must still be in pain. She didn't want him over exerting himself.

"Where are you from, Clay?" she asked curiously.
 
"Me?" He asked his tone a little surprised. She was scooting closer to him seemingly unperturbed by his wounds or his skin color. His eyes once again traveled up and down her body his tongue flicking out to wet his lips as he cleared his through.

"New Orleans Ma'am" He said his tone polite "I am from a boys home in New Orleans" He told her taking another slow sip.

"Hard to imagine a beautiful boston girl like you out so far" He said blushing a bit at that "Why are you here?" He asked trying to get comfortable.
 
Eleanor shrugged her shoulders slightly, blushing a bit as well at his compliment and the way she'd noticed his eyes glancing her over earlier.

"I just wanted to do my part," she explained, "I was studying nursing at my college in Massachusetts when the war began and there was a big need for women to enlist as nurses. When reports started to come in about how bad it was getting over here and how many men were getting killed and injured I knew I just couldn't stay at home and do nothing, not when I knew that I might be able to help."

"And please, call me Ellie. Everyone else does," she added with a small smile.
 
"Ellie then" He said his green eyes sweet and soft as he looked at her.

And so their night continued.

After having been asleep for so long (medical or otherwise) Clay was desperate for a little outside conversation. He chatted with her all night proving himself to be a very adept speaker and intelligent. His eyes were soft and kind as he looked at her and ever so often he would brush his fingers against her arm without meaning to.

Dawn finally began to break and he let her go finally having tired himself out. More men were being brought into the hospital as he slept.

Then the dreams began

Flashes of light and explosion he was running running from the shelling and trying to get away. Every one else around him however was dying his friends....

His family

"Ah!" He shouted waking up his eyes wild and confused.
 
Clay asleep again, Eleanor had left him to attend to the other men that had just been brought in until she was relieved of her duties by another nurse so that she could go rest in her quarters and get some sleep.

She was a little disappointed when she arrived back on duty and found that Clay was still asleep, having enjoyed their conversation before and wanting to talk with him some more, but then quickly reminded herself that he was still recovering from his injuries and that he needed his rest. She was in the middle of quietly checking his chart to see how he had been doing while she'd been away when he suddenly awoke with a shout. It wasn't uncommon for the men to have nightmares or flashbacks after coming in from the font lines, and she knew immediately upon seeing the wild and confused look in his eyes that this must be what had happened. She quickly put the chart back down and rushed to his side.

"Shhh, it's ok. It's ok, you're safe," she told him reassuringly as she took his hand in her own, "It's Ellie. You're still at the hospital Clay."
 
"Am I?" He asked his tone weak and tired as he slumped back against the bed.

"I dont feel safe" He murmured looking around at all the other soldiers and wounded moving about. His eyes took them in softening as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Forgive me" He said to her forcing a tired sad smile "Its just.... It seems like so much now I know that makes me sound weak but whats it all for you know?"
 
"It doesn't make you sound weak," Ellie replied, taking a seat in the chair next to his bed like she had the evening before while they'd talked, "I think it's only natural to think things like that at times like this."

She didn't know exactly what had happened to him to bring him here, but if it was anything like some of the stories she had heard from other soldiers she knew it had been awful.

"What made you decide to enlist?" she asked curiously, hoping it might help answer his own question about what all of this was for.
 
"There wasnt much else for me to do" He said laughing softly "I was smart but given that im black..." He said letting the words hang.

"Army seemed the best place for me to go to have a future and an education" He told her steeling himself "I wanted to serve to... America has been good to me even if its people aren't always so I wanted to serve I just didnt know how bad it was going to be"
 
Ellie felt badly to hear that Clay hadn't felt like he'd had any other option than to enlist if he wanted a future. Growing up in an urban and northern environment, she had probably encountered less prejudice against blacks in her life than other areas, but there was still segregation practiced even if it was not as rigidly enforced as in the south, and she felt badly because of it. If there was one thing that nursing had definitely shown her it was that it didn't matter what the color of someone's skin was, inside they were all the same people. The black soldiers fought just as hard, their blood ran the same red color, and when wounded and delirious they both cried out for their loved ones in the dark. It wasn't right that they be treated as second class citizens.

"What happened out there?" she asked, unable to hold her curiosity about what had happened to him on the front lines back any longer.
 
She asked and the memories were still so crystal clear he could tell her EXACTLY what happened.

"I guess war happened" He said softly shaking his head "We were trying to clear our the mortar battalion shelling the town... It was a suicide mission but we got it because of who we are and the hell if we werent going to do it but we got pinned early and they shelled us for almost an hour before we decided to make a full frontal attack"

"then I got hit" He said softly looking down "Its a miracle I didnt die... The guys in front of me did" He said his tone a whisper.

"Why did I survive?" He asked choking back a sob.
 
Ellie almost wished she could take back the question when she saw the way that the memories affected Clay.

"I don't know," she answered him softly in response to his question, her eyes becoming misty as she shared in his grief for his fallen comrades.

Her pale hand found his darker one on the bed sheet and squeezed it tightly as her eyes locked with his.

"But I'm very glad you did," she told him quietly. A slight blush formed in her cheeks, but she didn't look away from him.
 
He shivered at her words and her tone and looked up. Their eyes locked and there was a flash of desire in his eyes. He shifted his hospital gown opening slightly revealing his dark muscular chest.

"I am to" He said softly admitting it "I am glad we met"

He looked as if he wanted to say more but before he could one of the doctors called for her. His hand slipped away and he looked down playing with his cup as he nodded for her to go.
 
"I am glad we met"

Ellie felt her heart swell in her chest at his words, her blush deepening as she noticed his exposed muscular chest. She noticed that he seemed to want to say more, but it was at that moment that one of the doctors called for her. She couldn't help but feel disappointed as his hand slipped away from hers and his green eyes lowered.

"Duty calls," she said with a sigh as she rose from her seat, giving him one final smile as she left him, "I'll come and check on you later, Clay."
 
"Okay" He said softly his tone not wanting her to leave. His hands slipped from hers and he leaned back watching her go and trying to stop the smile on his face.

Thank god for little miracles

He spent the day reading and keeping an eye out for her. While he didnt see her again for the day he did see the doctor. He was told very softly that he would not be going back out to the front for the time being. The shrapnel in his leg had done some damage and he would need a cane to move for a while. The doctor prescribed him PT and he started it that day by attempting to walk in the upstairs basement turned PT room.
 
It wasn't until much later in the day that Ellie was able to check in on Clay, and was shocked when she arrived to find that his bed was empty. Fearing the worst, she nervously checked his chart at the foot of his bed and relieved to find that he had simply been sent to the PT room. She quickly made her way there, wanting to see how he was doing.
 
"Blast it!" He shouted crashing to his knees again. The PT nurse hovered anxiously worriedly wringing her hand as he struggled to get up.

"Sir do you want-
"

"No help" he growled closing his eyes as he struggled to get up "I am sorry!" He told her shaking his head in dismay as she finally helped him up and back onto the railing.
 
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