Luscious Lesbian erotica

[SweetJosie1]

Hi, hope you will read my story An Examination For St Marys. The story is taken from experiance. I'm a lesbian that loves to be dominated by a kindly Mistress.

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=217225

You can see all my stories listed here -

http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/memberpage.php?uid=696839&page=submissions

Love n kises

JosieXX

 

[Athena_e19]

The story is a good one.

There was a grammatical mistake where you inserted a "his" where a "her" needed to be.

The actual body of the story and the descriptions were excellent. The introduction is a bit to fragmented, however. There was a lot of commas and dashes and other punctuation marks used to extend sentences unnecessarily.

But, great job!