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not totally horrible
Well, I didn't actually read the story, but I'd like to register a complaint. Posting a story to a discussion thread totally fucked up page 1... I use a netbook and it made the screen like super-wide. I started off scrolling like a fucker before I got bored.
The author might like to consider (a) protocol in respect of posting stories to threads; and (b) the fact that some of his potential audience use titchy little netbooks.
How's that for Lit crit?