Low Rated Story Theater 3000 - click a really low rated story today

[jsmiam]

I admit, I periodically click on really low rated stories for entertainment purposes now and then. With surprises. (I learned the word absquatulate! And the absquatulator isn’t an “as seen on tv” exercise device for a flatter stomach either!).

I mean legitimately terrible stories/ terrible writing, rather than terrible topics (lots) or trolls who don’t like a topic (lw) or hate or discrimination (lots), which are all really common reasons (the majority, I’ll say). I’m talking finding that dirty piece of coal in the rough.

One thing I found surprising is that some of them are actually fascinating. Streams of poorly written consciousnesses, that nonetheless were somebody’s real streams of consciousness. On meth. Some I’m amazed got posted. Here’s a quote: “A rhetorical question. Of course he wants to fuck her in the ass. Does the pope shit in the woods?”

But some just make you laugh. Does anyone else do this?

 

[Voboy]

No.

Doesn't strike me as a good use of my time, sadly.

 

[tenyari]

I don't look at the rating before I read them. I will look if I get to a certain distance and the story seems very good or very bad.

I find a LOT of stories on these site get review bombed by people with an issue about the subject matter. And just as often they get review pushed by people with a specific kink.

So I guess I do, because I will give whatever I land on enough of a chance to prove itself.

But I won't stick if it turns out to actually deserve it's bad score.

 

[BarracudaSwordfish]

I have all the time in the world to do such a thing, but have no inclination. I write and read for pleasure.

 

[lovecraft68]

No, I don't spend time mocking other people's efforts, for all we know that's the best they can do and they're proud of it.
I will however, mock people here who are arrogant and think they're above everyone else by pointing out their various foibles and failures. I find that more fun.

Also, I do on occasions read some of my old stuff and make fun of myself, but that's different, self mockery is damn fun.

 

[tenyari]

Also, I do on occasions read some of my old stuff and make fun of myself, but that's different, self mockery is damn fun.

I read my old stuff and facepalm. A lot. Forget the Turin Shroud; I think you can see an imprint of my face on my palm if you look at it...

 

[lovecraft68]

I read my old stuff and facepalm. A lot. Forget the Turin Shroud; I think you can see an imprint of my face on my palm if you look at it...

I'm prone to a good old fashioned head-desk...could explain some things.

 

[Voboy]

Also, I do on occasions read some of my old stuff and make fun of myself, but that's different, self mockery is damn fun.

Most of my old stuff is better than much of my new stuff. I know it.

 

[lovecraft68]

Most of my old stuff is better than much of my new stuff. I know it.

I feel that way with my first series, grammatically a mess and raw in all aspects of technical writing, but some of the material is so strong -and depressing and twisted in a train wreck way-that I feel like 12 years later I've yet to top it. Sucks to have your opus right off the bat.

Like Blatty writing anything after the Exorcist. (He did, but come on...you weren't beating that.)

 

[jsmiam]

…I find a LOT of stories on these site get review bombed by people with an issue about the subject matter. And just as often they get review pushed by people with a specific kink…

Totally agree, to the point of making my disclaimer. This topic could so easily go off on a tangent about review bombing. Or how some low rated stories are really quite good, but trigger hatred of one form or another. Or creative in an under-appreciated way. That’s a whole topic to itself, fascinating as it may be.

I learned a new word today, and I’m waiting to respond to someone with “does the pope shit in the woods”, not for any religious reasons, but because it’s just funny. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Does the Pope shit in the woods?

 

[Carnevil9]

But some just make you laugh. Does anyone else do this?

No, I haven't, but I will now. It sounds amusing.

 

[RejectReality]

If you happen to have any of your own that make you cringe, feel free to donate them. The donations I have for LST3K are all stalled with not enough quips to make a good episode.

The best ones are those that are truly awful for one reason or another. Bad grammar. Repetition. Cliches. Unrealistic characters. Impossible sex scenes. Continuity errors. Abandoned first drafts. Ancient hormone-fueled attempts you find on CDs or Floppy disks. I only attach your name to them if you want me to, and the final product will be run by you in case any jokes hit too close to home or otherwise offend your sensibilities.

You're always welcome to join in and poke fun at your own dreadful writing as well.

Shorter stuff works better, as does stuff with an actual ending. ( 3 Lit pages is about the limit )

https://www.literotica.com/s/lst3k-ep-01-the-tale-of-benjamin

Link to the first in the series.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I admit, I periodically click on really low rated stories for entertainment purposes now and then.

I usually read new stories before the ratings start.

But my latest story "Lifestyle Ch. 11: Demons Past" published yesterday might fall into your search. I received a "1" which stood as the only rating for the first 350 views, then a "5" to average now a 3.

It's 8K words of a husband and wife returning to their hometown for her to confront her dysfunctional past (it alludes to a past NonCon abusive scene, and her mother's mental issues.) But I tried this time putting it into Romance to see how it fares there, with the couple being mutually supportive.

I've had one relatively positive comment (very instructional) so far, which basically says I don't write with enough emotional closure (lacking "Catharsis").

If you read it, let me know what you think of it.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I’m waiting to respond to someone with “does the pope shit in the woods”, not for any religious reasons, but because it’s just funny. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Does the Pope shit in the woods?

I note the above continues the recent controversy elsethread about capitalisation of titles like Pope...

I'd be tempted to read a story with that tagline - at least the story might have some humour. I tend to skim taglines for any hint that a story might be anything more interesting than "I did x, y and z. I orgasmed."

 

[jsmiam]

@lifestyle, I meant to mention that also in my list of exceptions, are new stories with hardly any votes. I also discovered a while back that sorting lists (story search) by lowest scores first ends up showing stories with votes turned off first. So I wouldn’t have seen for that reason either. Plus, 3 is too high for me. ;-)

 

[jsmiam]

… I tend to skim taglines for any hint that a story might be anything more interesting than "I did x, y and z. I orgasmed."

“I shit in the woods. Then I orgasmed.” - Fetish - by “P.” 1.3

 

[Djmac1031]

Am I the only one here who gets the thread title?

"WE GOT STORY SIGN!!!"

 

[HectorBidon]

"Does the pope shit in the woods?”

The site makes its entire collection available, and so I don't see why the entire collection shouldn't be enjoyed. I've remarked before about the pleasures of roaming the stacks and coming across long forgotten little gems.

Part of the site's attraction is that it presents a substantial and unabashed artifact of the human imagination, in all its grandeur and puerility. So if you want to read the stories for their sociological or anthropological thrill (or even just to revel in the statistical titillation provided by their daily updated ratings lists), why not?

I sometimes enjoy reading stories written by authors for whom English is not their first language. These often require a willing suspension of grammatical fastidiousness, but that's a small price to pay for the opportunity to see the world through a foreign set of eyes.

Recently I've started poking around in the non-English portions of the site as well. There was a thread on the Tech Support Forum that led me to the German discussion board. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Google Translate was able to make the posts there quite understandable, even to the point that much of the informality and joshing came through.

I'd always known that the non-English side of the site existed, but I'd never paid much attention to it. The easiest way to get there is to click on one of the flags at the top of the main site index. Besides English, there are flags representing Spanish, German, French, Dutch, Italian, Romanian, and Portuguese. Each of these languages has its own mini-site, some more fleshed out than others. The German site is perhaps the most vibrant, with an active discussion forum and 184 new stories in the last 30 days.

There might be a more efficient way to do it, but I just use Google Translate, cutting and pasting a few paragraphs at a time. The translations are instantaneous and almost always readable and understandable; only very rarely does some subtle nuance seem to not come through. I hadn't paid much attention to Google Translate since the early days when the main draw was laughing at the howlers it came up with. But I've got to say that now, at least as far as translating smut goes, it is a quite proficient and capable product.

There is also an "Other" languages page. There is a Bulletin Board and a Top List whose titles are a hodgepodge of diacritical marks and non-Latin characters. Some of the languages you can recognize: Russian, Korean, Hebrew, Japanese—and some are in those exotic South Asian scripts that Google will recognize even if you can't: Tamil, Hindi, Bengali,Telugu. The neat thing is that Google Translate does as good a job on most of these languages as it does on the European ones. It's pretty amazing: you paste in a paragraph of completely indecipherable hieroglyphs, and you get back a coherent, captivating story. One of the things I like is that many of the authors aren't specifically writing for a Western porn audience (or their conception of what a Western porn audience might expect). They write what they want to write, giving us a (voyeuristic perhaps) glimpse into their daily life and culture. (None of this is to say that all the non-English stories are gems. There are stinkers over there just as there are over here.)

Anyway, just a few thoughts.

P.S. I will point out that the citation about pontifical hygiene is perhaps not the most precise search term for the work in question. It turns out that there are 39 stories on the site that contain that phrase (all but four of them rated above 4* btw). As you yourself point out, the phrase is in wide enough circulation that it has its own entry in the urbandictionary. I might offer another quotation that will lead the interested reader to the target more directly: "Unhh. Unhhh. Unhhhh."

 

[Lovecraft_Lore]

I wondered why all my low rated stories kept getting views months or years after I posted them.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Am I the only one here who gets the thread title?

"WE GOT STORY SIGN!!!"

They may be bots, but they have some grasp of gender relations.

"Crips or The Bloods?"

 

[gunhilltrain]

"Sylvia?" "There's a rabbit in there." "Where the postman eagerly awaits."

 

[jsmiam]

@ everyone, maybe I can get some help, since I’m having trouble finding it:

There was a scene in the sopranos where the nephew character Michael decided to write a book. And the camera flashed on his first really awful opening paragraph. And it was hilarious. Anyone know the scene, and can find the clip, an image, or the text?

(Ironically the actor who played Michael wrote a book too that’s well received. To clarify though, I’m looking for the scene from the episode in question. Thanks)

 

[MajorRewrite]

They may be bots, but they have some grasp of gender relations.

"Crips or The Bloods?"

“What to do on a date” and they use the word “weenie” 30 times. First tip: don’t call it a weenie.

 

[gunhilltrain]

“What to do on a date” and they use the word “weenie” 30 times. First tip: don’t call it a weenie.

Well, it's the 1950's/early 1960's, but we're not doing much better today. In 2023, the majority of people in this country meet through a dating app. The use of those things has zoomed up since the introduction of smartphones - 2007 or so. Second tip: do not use a dating app like Bumble or Tinder. There are many videos on YouTube explaining what's wrong with them (plenty!) but anyone who is curious can easily find the relevant info.