Loving Wives?

[David_Brock]

Can someone please explain to me why a man would want or put up with a woman or man who cheats? Please, I just don't don't get it and I would like to understand the mindset of someone who would put up with a cheating partner of either sex. I can understand why someone would want to crossdress our any other LGBQ+??? category. Or most of the other categories, but not all. I just want to try and understand, because if I had a partner who cheated on me once would be crushing. More than that would wreck me forever. Not that I would get violent in this situation..... But a part of me would definitely die inside myself. If you not happy then just leave.... ???????

 

[Lifestyle66]

Can someone please explain to me why a man would want or put up with a woman or man who cheats? Please, I just don't don't get it and I would like to understand the mindset of someone who would put up with a cheating partner of either sex. I can understand why someone would want to crossdress our any other LGBQ+??? category. Or most of the other categories, but not all. I just want to try and understand, because if I had a partner who cheated on me once would be crushing. More than that would wreck me forever. Not that I would get violent in this situation..... But a part of me would definitely die inside myself. If you not happy then just leave.... ???????

There are plenty of different reasons why a couple stays together after one catches the other cheating, and it depends on the economics, relative attractiveness of each of the couple, socialization opportunities for both, etc.

I write LW stories, trying to think through different scenarios for extra-marital sex. And sometimes it involves "cheating", whether it's the wife or husband who cheats.

Here's an example of a very brief story (750 words), then read the longer backstory (5.5K words) which explains their relationship:
*****************************************
Pavlov's Dog -- 750 Words "Her needs and routines might get a girl killed."

Raging Hormones "Wife talks to her husband about their sex needs."
***************************************

And here's one where the husband cheats and the wife stays with him:
**************************************
Going Down Together "Beware the wrath of a woman scorned."
*************************************


EDIT: But IRL, I know of one couple who stays together because they have a disabled son. They both know that neither of them could handle their son's disabilities as a single parent, and a decision to split would condemn one of them with their son to a life of poverty or dependent on government handouts. They remain together leading separate lives for the financial support of their son. And I think there are many in their 30's and 40's who have kids and who are only grudgingly married, just awaiting the right time for one to file for divorce.

Such couples remain together, because they've removed SEX as the centerpiece of their marriage, and they instead prioritize FAMILY. If you switch those in your mind and think SEX is all important and infidelity is unforgivable, ... just think about what that says of you as a person in your kids' POV.

 

[Nay_Nay01]

https://sayingimages.com/wp-content/uploads/cheating-find-out-memes.jpg

 

[BillyWalrus]

I am surprised that the OP has not seen the numerous threads on Lit by cucks and cuck wannabes. Lit is Cuck Central. It seems like the fantasy for every guy here is to see his wife impaled on a huge cock, preferably a black one to complete the stereotype.

 

[Islander55]

I am surprised that the OP has not seen the numerous threads on Lit by cucks and cuck wannabes. Lit is Cuck Central. It seems like the fantasy for every guy here is to see his wife impaled on a huge cock, preferably a black one to complete the stereotype.

Cheating is quite different from a hotwife lifestyle or swinging. If both are into the swinging, it can be very hot watching your partner with another person. I do not really consider my husband to be a cuck as there is no humiliation or anything like that. He just enjoys that I am wiling to explore my sexuality. He claims and I do have no reason to doubt him that he enjoys seeing another man get me off. Sitting back and seeing the whole scene is very different than actually being in the scene.

 

[BillyWalrus]

Cheating is quite different from a hotwife lifestyle or swinging. If both are into the swinging, it can be very hot watching your partner with another person. I do not really consider my husband to be a cuck as there is no humiliation or anything like that. He just enjoys that I am wiling to explore my sexuality. He claims and I do have no reason to doubt him that he enjoys seeing another man get me off. Sitting back and seeing the whole scene is very different than actually being in the scene.

Yes, you are right. He is not a cuck in the fetish sense that you describe. However you have cuckolded him in a technical sense.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Yes, you are right. He is not a cuck in the fetish sense that you describe. However you have cuckolded him in a technical sense.

Not if he's there and part of it.

If there's no secrecy and the husband knows and approves of the scenario, he knows the risks of pregnancy or disease, as does the wife. There are some scenarios where the husband is just using the other guy like a tool.

"Save me the time and effort get her up to her climax! I'll join in when I'm ready."

If she's okay with it, then it's a win-win for the couple.

Some people put too much emotional effort into expecting monogamy, without taking into account that people change over time. Even in the past, if you believe your parents and grandparents and their friends and neighbors were all monogamous, then you're living in a fantasy. I've encountered many people relating their surprises at their weird "family trees" with half-siblings found through modern ancestry genetic testing. Those were due to either rapes or infidelity. And I know one for sure who eventually found that his father was paying a mistress on the other side of town to raise his half-brother the entire time he grew up!

Sex is merely one part of the marital bond, which also includes financial support, childbearing/raising, money management, companionship, shared interests, etc. Everyone has to find their own priorities for which parts are the deal breakers.

 

[BillyWalrus]

Not if he's there and part of it.

If there's no secrecy and the husband knows and approves of the scenario, he knows the risks of pregnancy or disease, as does the wife. There are some scenarios where the husband is just using the other guy like a tool.

"Save me the time and effort get her up to her climax! I'll join in when I'm ready."

If she's okay with it, then it's a win-win for the couple.

Some people put too much emotional effort into expecting monogamy, without taking into account that people change over time. Even in the past, if you believe your parents and grandparents and their friends and neighbors were all monogamous, then you're living in a fantasy. I've encountered many people relating their surprises at their weird "family trees" with half-siblings found through modern ancestry genetic testing. Those were due to either rapes or infidelity. And I know one for sure who eventually found that his father was paying a mistress on the other side of town to raise his half-brother the entire time he grew up!

Sex is merely one part of the marital bond, which also includes financial support, childbearing/raising, money management, companionship, shared interests, etc. Everyone has to find their own priorities for which parts are the deal breakers.

It doesn't matter if he is there or agrees to it or whatever. The linguistic definition of a cuckold is a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful. If she is being fucked by another man, you have been cuckolded and yes, you are a cuckold.

Maybe you just don't like the word or the whole fetish nonsense that some people put on it. I can understand that. However it does not change the dictionary definition of the word itself.

 

[Lifestyle66]

It doesn't matter if he is there or agrees to it or whatever. The linguistic definition of a cuckold is a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful. If she is being fucked by another man, you have been cuckolded and yes, you are a cuckold.

Maybe you just don't like the word or the whole fetish nonsense that some people put on it. I can understand that. However it does not change the dictionary definition of the word itself.

You have spun that one word to your own meaning, and you are mandating that it automatically applies as you intend to the marriage vows others have made between themselves.

Is she unfaithful if she's doing what her husband wants?

EDIT: I know one married couple with a good looking, sexy wife who was a fantastic cook. She was her husband's "arm candy" wherever he went, and she made gourmet meals for him every day.

He was financially successful. But he didn't dance or enjoy going out clubbing. He just enjoyed playing poker with his friends and playing golf. He was also impotent with a low testosterone level, and he had ZERO interest for any sex of any kind with his wife! He didn't care if she went out once or twice per week to get her "fix" elsewhere, as long as she was discrete about it! So, she "faithfully" attended to her husband's wants and needs, because he paid for her lifestyle of house, dress, and travel! BTW: She could never get pregnant.

But YOU will never hear such stories in real life from people who perceive you to be a judgmental type. You blissfully go through life thinking others are "normal", when in reality, they are your co-workers and friends, sitting beside you in church, and they are all around you!

 

[BillyWalrus]

I have to laugh. You really hate the word cuckold, don't you? My ex and I swapped with another couple. Was I a cuckold? Yes, indeed, but then so was the other guy.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I have to laugh. You really hate the word cuckold, don't you? My ex and I swapped with another couple. Was I a cuckold? Yes, indeed, but then so was the other guy.

Oh, I don't care about the word "cuckold".

It's like calling calling your wife a "slut", which she is for swapping with that other couple.

Those are words invented by the self-righteous used to insult others, to make themselves feel better for not getting any fun sex.

 

[BillyWalrus]

Oh, I don't care about the word "cuckold".

It's like calling calling your wife a "slut", which she is for swapping with that other couple.

Those are words invented by the self-righteous used to insult others, to make themselves feel better for not getting any fun sex.

People can use whatever words they want to insult other people but it doesn't change the dictionary definition of a word.

Was my ex a slut for swapping? A slut is a woman who has many casual sexual partners according to the dictionary. Well, we did do some swapping so maybe that qualifies.

 

[MikeForYourWife]

People can use whatever words they want to insult other people but it doesn't change the dictionary definition of a word.

Was my ex a slut for swapping? A slut is a woman who has many casual sexual partners according to the dictionary. Well, we did do some swapping so maybe that qualifies.

Or all men consider the word cuckold is an insult. Truthfully, it does not matter what other people think or say. It’s what you and your wife think that matters. It’s what works for your marriage.

Swingers, hot wife, slur wife, cuckold, sissy, submissive, beta. All labels that can be used as a insult from some while they are considered a complement by others.

 

[Robbie527]

Can someone please explain to me why a man would want or put up with a woman or man who cheats? Please, I just don't don't get it and I would like to understand the mindset of someone who would put up with a cheating partner of either sex. I can understand why someone would want to crossdress our any other LGBQ+??? category. Or most of the other categories, but not all. I just want to try and understand, because if I had a partner who cheated on me once would be crushing. More than that would wreck me forever. Not that I would get violent in this situation..... But a part of me would definitely die inside myself. If you not happy then just leave.... ???????

It is not always economically possible to leave. My wife has been cheating for decades. She is bi polar and cannot help herself. Some of her exploits have been risky, many dangerous and a few breathtakingly crazy. She has had the man next door regularly since late 1985 and he introduced her to others which she took to enthusiastically, She is 70 now and still meets others regularly and, frankly, has remained very desirable. I suspect that some of how she has stayed so young in outlook is because of her approach to sex and the numbers of partners she has had. I did consider leaving but after a DNA test checking that our daughter really was mine 35 years ago I decided to stay for her sake and seek my own entertainment as it were. So not everything is easy sadly and compromise is often required,

Can someone please explain to me why a man would want or put up with a woman or man who cheats? Please, I just don't don't get it and I would like to understand the mindset of someone who would put up with a cheating partner of either sex. I can understand why someone would want to crossdress our any other LGBQ+??? category. Or most of the other categories, but not all. I just want to try and understand, because if I had a partner who cheated on me once would be crushing. More than that would wreck me forever. Not that I would get violent in this situation..... But a part of me would definitely die inside myself. If you not happy then just leave.... ???????

 

[niceguyswin]

Sometimes we don't get to choose well who the people we fall in love with will turn in to. By the time I was married that person didn't love me, didn't find that out for years later though. After years of college and ful time jobs and student loans and building a future that person had a fair amount of issues. By the time the hospital visits, conditions, more Dr's than I can count and years and years of just trying to stay above water it gets to the point of life, money, dependencies so entangled you don't have time or finances to leave and if you do people die. You get trapped and the person who suppose to loveyou screams at you a lot over and over and hates the world of anything outside of their cheating. You sit and watch and as that sinking dark feeling inside of you eats you you just loose the will to fight back, its been beaten and screamed out of you. You go to work, find other work, and hobbies that pay well, and bury yourself in maybe some days. Pick the reason you want out of that why people stay. Sometimes those vows for better or worse (you get the worse), in sickness and health (your partner gets sick) and the till death do us part (starts to sound more like a hope than a fear).

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

I just let everyone be. Incest is way more twisted in my opinion but to each their own.

 

[HotflixLust]

Hotwife-cuckold and Incest are the most arousing and fantasised kink out there.

 

[LeSabreur]

Sometimes we don't get to choose well who the people we fall in love with will turn in to. By the time I was married that person didn't love me, didn't find that out for years later though. After years of college and ful time jobs and student loans and building a future that person had a fair amount of issues. By the time the hospital visits, conditions, more Dr's than I can count and years and years of just trying to stay above water it gets to the point of life, money, dependencies so entangled you don't have time or finances to leave and if you do people die. You get trapped and the person who suppose to loveyou screams at you a lot over and over and hates the world of anything outside of their cheating. You sit and watch and as that sinking dark feeling inside of you eats you you just loose the will to fight back, its been beaten and screamed out of you. You go to work, find other work, and hobbies that pay well, and bury yourself in maybe some days. Pick the reason you want out of that why people stay. Sometimes those vows for better or worse (you get the worse), in sickness and health (your partner gets sick) and the till death do us part (starts to sound more like a hope than a fear).

You're not alone in this.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

Can someone please explain to me why a man would want or put up with a woman or man who cheats? Please, I just don't don't get it and I would like to understand the mindset of someone who would put up with a cheating partner of either sex. I can understand why someone would want to crossdress our any other LGBQ+??? category. Or most of the other categories, but not all. I just want to try and understand, because if I had a partner who cheated on me once would be crushing. More than that would wreck me forever. Not that I would get violent in this situation..... But a part of me would definitely die inside myself. If you not happy then just leave.... ???????

Oh, I understand this, having been on both sides of it.

For some people, the thought of your woman, your precious lady love, being in the arms of another man, is heartbreaking and devastating. She's obviously not happy with you. She's cheating on you, she's leaving you, and if she doesn't, clearly, you're not even a man, because now you're a cuck.

Yep, I get it. That's the classic male masculine view, it's very possessive and full of toxic masculinity. And, in gender blind terms, being cheated on sucks.

Alright, now, let me help you to understand the other side of it.

What if you really, really, really loved a certain woman. But you couldn't have her. There was only one way you could.

She wants to have sex with women, too. She wants to find a girlfriend and go on dates with her girlfriend.

She will come home to you.
She will only do this with your consent.
She will kiss you and make love to you.
You will be in a close, physical, and romantic relationship.

But sometimes, she will go off and explore her bisexual side with a loving woman.

And this is the ONLY way you can be with her, if you don't agree, she will never agree to date you.

Now, do you understand how you can love someone so much that you agree to having a part of her heart, a part of her affection and passion, not 100 percent of it?

If not, okay, I gave it a shot. You might change your mind later in life as you get lonely. I know I have done so, after the age of 40.

I have been with bisexual women before and if they want to see women, that doesn't bother me.

But as I get older, I realize, some women, I might adore very very much, but she's always had this kink she wants to explore, where she has sex with men.

And for me, these are my concerns- if she gets pregnant from this other man, that's not wanted for me. And if she catches a disease.

But, if she just comes home to me, kisses me, holds me, makes me feel desired and she's romantic and passionate with me.... I need that in my life.

And if she is happy, and she spends most of her time with me, then I am happy.

I love women so much, and also, I dont want to stand in the way of her sexual liberation. It is a kind of love which is one way, it is my love for her. Unconditional.

And I do want some requited love, but if my choice is between 0 percent of her love, and 95 percent of her love, I will now always choose the 95 percent.

I want her to be safe and screen her partners and maintain her relationship with me as her primary concern, but. I just want her with me.

If you get lonely enough it may start to make sense.

Now, cheating on me, desiring others to replace me, not getting consent, okay, I am with you. Just break up if you don't want me.

But I am now at a part of my lifelong love for women that, 95 percent of a woman is still enough to make me so happy and satisfied.

I picture her sex drive calming down at some point and her choosing me to be the one she snuggles at night before we go to bed, as we grow older and older.

And, I am the one she has the most sex with, and also, she loves me.

That is all that matters.

It may be the case that if you are young enough or jealous enough or possessive enough or subscribe to toxic masculine ideas enough, it's hard to let go.

I dreamed of marrying a woman and being her one and only forever.

And I did marry, and she discarded me one day.

So, that idea that one person will always love you forever, it is a nice thought, but the fantasy also shackles the other person in ways that are a little cruel.

If she has this thing she has to do to be happy in life.... but she tells me about it, and I give permission... that's fine.

That's her being a loving and faithful wife. And if she told me before marrying me this is how it would need to be, for her to say yes when I propose, that is her being honest.

She might tell me that until she gets very old and gray, she's going to want to bed a dozen women. Maybe some men, too. Not just me.

And she won't marry me otherwise.

Okay.... if I want her that much, I'm now done with the idea of possessing her.

If she comes back to me and loves me, I accept.

And uh, I also understand the jealous perspective of not wanting to share her.

I will always be afraid she might leave me for her other partners.

But, my wife left me for no new partner. That can happen even if there aren't partners.

People change, their tastes change, they can fall out of love, discover they were gay late in life. There's nothing you can do to force someone to be yours forever.

But... if you let your love fly free, and she comes back to you over and over again.

That's beautiful.