Love or Luv?

[Keroin]

I think it can go any way, although I do know that even coming to Lit and saying I'm happily married and demonstrating such can result in huzzahs and support, and also denials and throwings of virtual verbal fruit.

So I have a balance of Love and Luv.

I do remember once my husband and I kissing at an airport, and hearing a deep intake of breath behind us. My husband and I turned to look at her and she said "Oh! Don't stop. It's just...it's nice to see someone that much in love." She was crying.

It's not all bad.

No, I don't think it's bad at all. PDA's between people in love are normal though I'm sure everyone has a different opinion about how much is too much. Frankly, I'm a fan of married people who are not shy about telling others they are happily married and in love with their spouse.

And I would expect to see couples kissing in an airport - again time, place and circumstance. But if you invited me and a partner to your house, I wouldn't start sucking face at the dinner table. There are people who would do this - I've met them.

Off topic: I've always said that if a person is ever feeling depressed they should go to the arrivals section of an international airport and watch for awhile. So much joy, kissing, hugging. It restores my faith in humanity every time.

 

[midwestyankee]

God I loved that thread! Thanks for reminding me Yank....heads off for some good memories...people and words.

Edited: It's not the original thread.

Ah, but here's a link to the original thread, which was started by a guy with compulsive av-changing disorder.

Defining Love (2004 edition)

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Meh, it wasn't the wubby wubby, it was their hysterical reaction to a bit of poking that was ridiculous.

Perhaps that's an important factor in the larger and real-life examples as well - if Bubbles and JR want to be that lurvy and sugary in public, then they should also be good sports about getting shit for it. Otherwise, they allow themselves to be authentic but we as an audience are not allowed the same privilege. I should be allowed to say, "ewwww" or do some gentle shit-giving, like starting a motel room thread. Fair's fair.

Other than that, I have only this to add:

wooodja woooodja woo, schnookie-ookum candydrawers.
mwah

 

[CutieMouse]

Ah, but here's a link to the original thread, which was started by a guy with compulsive av-changing disorder.

Defining Love (2004 edition)

Ya know, they say the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem.

 

[Keroin]

Ah, but here's a link to the original thread, which was started by a guy with compulsive av-changing disorder.

Yes, his many av's make me dizzy. Or perhaps it's just the naked torso?

Nevertheless, I shall read his thread.

Other than that, I have only this to add:

wooodja woooodja woo, schnookie-ookum candydrawers.
mwah

LOL!

That was meant for me, right?

 

[satindesire]

I am extremely affectionate, and I love how affectionate Mister is. We hold hands everywhere we go, and are almost never apart, barring him working or being out with friends getting a beer (which happens about once a month!). Literally, for three years, attached at the hip. I have tried so hard to have fun without him, but he is so amazing to me that I miss him way too much when I'm not around him.

I always thought that couples that don't spend time apart are unhealthy or smothering each other, but I...I dunno, I just feel like I have way more fun and am way happier when we're together! *shrugs*

I won't be grabbing his crotch or grinding against him in public because that's just impolite!!! But if people are put off because I said "Love you baby" and kissed him while we're in the grocery store, those people need to get a hobby. ^_^

 

[unpredictablebijou]

LOL!

That was meant for me, right?

Of course, my coochie-woochie darling sugarbuns.

 

[CutieMouse]

Of course, my coochie-woochie darling sugarbuns.

For the Love Birds.

 

[the captians wench]

I am extremely affectionate, and I love how affectionate Mister is. We hold hands everywhere we go, and are almost never apart, barring him working or being out with friends getting a beer (which happens about once a month!). Literally, for three years, attached at the hip. I have tried so hard to have fun without him, but he is so amazing to me that I miss him way too much when I'm not around him.

I always thought that couples that don't spend time apart are unhealthy or smothering each other, but I...I dunno, I just feel like I have way more fun and am way happier when we're together! *shrugs*

I won't be grabbing his crotch or grinding against him in public because that's just impolite!!! But if people are put off because I said "Love you baby" and kissed him while we're in the grocery store, those people need to get a hobby. ^_^

But there is a difference between a kiss and sentimental moment in the middle of the piggly wiggly and an obvious attempt to get some one to go "Oh look how cute you two are!"

Personally, I'm extreamly affectionate to. It worries me because Jounar is a self proclaimed loner so on paper we make a really odd pair, but while I was there the "loner" was just as affectionate as I was...well nearly. There were just as many times when we were on the tram and he'd just look up at me and smile that warm "I love you more than there are stars in the sky" look as me doing the same. *shrug*

The hand holding was more me holding on for dear life as I was tarified to be in such a big city, which he thought was hallarious. No matter how many times I explain to him he will always have this image of me living in NYC

 

[Keroin]

This is how I feel about it too. I have no idea how I come across to other people with M and I really do not care. I probably make a lot of judgements but they're fleeting things usually. I'm very conscious of having NO FUCKING IDEA how other people relate in private life. I've known enough Ricky-seeming guys who are eventually shown to be raging assholes and bubbles-apparent women to have hearts of gold.

Maybe this is a vantage point that sex work gives you - the notion that it's entirely possible for everyone to look at a couple and have no freaking idea in the world what's actually up.

I've worked over enough "I'm in the SM world, and it knows me as a Master" people to not have any idea. Some people are who they say they are, some people are not and most people are somewhat.

Oh, I also just watched Shortbus finally, so take it with a grain of salt.

haven't seen Shortbus and so I'm not sure what that means.

I know next to nothing about you and M but I do recall a post you made once in a thread that had something to do with acts of love shown by a partner. You said, simply, that M had put up with you through an extended period of being on prednisone. To me, this is love. It is during times like that that people in luv reach a tipping point - stay or go. For people in love, it is rarely a question. When you love someone, you love them even when you don't like them very much.

Of course, my coochie-woochie darling sugarbuns.

Kissy-poo's!!

But there is a difference between a kiss and sentimental moment in the middle of the piggly wiggly and an obvious attempt to get some one to go "Oh look how cute you two are!"

Personally, I'm extreamly affectionate to. It worries me because Jounar is a self proclaimed loner so on paper we make a really odd pair, but while I was there the "loner" was just as affectionate as I was...well nearly. There were just as many times when we were on the tram and he'd just look up at me and smile that warm "I love you more than there are stars in the sky" look as me doing the same. *shrug*

The hand holding was more me holding on for dear life as I was tarified to be in such a big city, which he thought was hallarious. No matter how many times I explain to him he will always have this image of me living in NYC

I once dated a fellow who showed me zero public affection, not even hand holding. At first, I didn't mind because he had a lot of other amazing qualities. Eventually, though, it began to grate on me. We didn't last.

As to the part of your comment I've put in bold, this is what I'm talking about. The difference between love and luv, for me, lies not in action but in motivation.

I am extremely affectionate, and I love how affectionate Mister is. We hold hands everywhere we go, and are almost never apart, barring him working or being out with friends getting a beer (which happens about once a month!). Literally, for three years, attached at the hip. I have tried so hard to have fun without him, but he is so amazing to me that I miss him way too much when I'm not around him.

I always thought that couples that don't spend time apart are unhealthy or smothering each other, but I...I dunno, I just feel like I have way more fun and am way happier when we're together! *shrugs*

I won't be grabbing his crotch or grinding against him in public because that's just impolite!!! But if people are put off because I said "Love you baby" and kissed him while we're in the grocery store, those people need to get a hobby. ^_^

Oh Satin, when will you learn that no one on this board cares about your opinion?

JOKE!!! Kidding! Stop throwing rotten vegetables!

If you choose to spend most or all of your time with your partner and it works for you...terrific. But let me ask you this, if you and your hubby are out with friends, do you ignore everyone else and only pay attention to him?

I don't think so. I could be wrong.

 

[Recidiva]

If you choose to spend most or all of your time with your partner and it works for you...terrific. But let me ask you this, if you and your hubby are out with friends, do you ignore everyone else and only pay attention to him?

I don't think so. I could be wrong.

I can answer this for me. In my previous marriages I had lots of friends and went out all the time, usually without my spouse...usually gay men so I could go out dancing and clubbing with them.

But since I've gotten here...about 11 years ago, I haven't made friends.

So we don't go out with anybody and yeah, I'm probably paying attention to him.

To me, he usually IS the coolest thing in the room.

 

[Keroin]

OK, MWY, I took the bait. I hope I haven't bared too much of my soul here! My answers...

To begin: What is your definition of love? That feeling I get when I eat a good bar of dark chocolate.

What experiences helped shape your definition? Eating chocolate and then times when I was unable to eat chocolate.

What have you read that helped form your definition? The ingredients on the back of the Lindt 85% cocoa chocolate bar.

Taking familial love as a given, what other forms of love can you identify? Love of cocoa and cocoa related products.

What are the limits on loving? Can we love more than one person at a time (again, all outside the category of familial love)? Unequivocally...yep.

What freedom do we gain through love? What constraints do we take on through love? We gain the freedom to say, "I think today I'll have 70% cocoa if I damn well please!". However, if you buy to much chocolate, you will go broke, which takes away financial freedom. It's a slippery slope.

What is the difference between being in love and loving someone? I am "in love" with chocolate but I "love" people who give me chocolate. Quite simple, really.

Any more questions?

 

[wicked woman]

Ah, but here's a link to the original thread, which was started by a guy with compulsive av-changing disorder.

Defining Love (2004 edition)

oh thank you thank you thank you

I know what I'm doing tonight.

 

[intothewoods]

I can answer this for me. In my previous marriages I had lots of friends and went out all the time, usually without my spouse...usually gay men so I could go out dancing and clubbing with them.

But since I've gotten here...about 11 years ago, I haven't made friends.

So we don't go out with anybody and yeah, I'm probably paying attention to him.

To me, he usally IS the coolest thing in the room.

I can understand this.

 

[Recidiva]

I can understand this.

I have a habit of this...exclusion of the rest of the universe, that is.

I tended through most of my history to bond with one person and then kinda revolve around them.

To the point of developing shorthand, that sort of "psychic" glance where you get what the other person's saying.

I remember one friend making that accusation in front of my current...bond.

He was a gay guy and we were absolutely inseparable and one of the girls that hung out with us said "I can't STAND you guys! You're like this...molecule that's stuck together and there's absolutely no way I can be any part of it. I get jealous and I get helpless and I can't do anything about it!"

He and I just looked at each other and smiled in that "Cooooooool." way.

She said "OH!" and left the room.

 

[intothewoods]

I have a habit of this...exclusion of the rest of the universe, that is.

I tended through most of my history to bond with one person and then kinda revolve around them.

To the point of developing shorthand, that sort of "psychic" glance where you get what the other person's saying.

I remember one friend making that accusation in front of my current...bond.

He was a gay guy and we were absolutely inseparable and one of the girls that hung out with us said "I can't STAND you guys! You're like this...molecule that's stuck together and there's absolutely no way I can be any part of it. I get jealous and I get helpless and I can't do anything about it!"

He and I just looked at each other and smiled in that "Cooooooool." way.

She said "OH!" and left the room.

Heh heh. I'm not quite this type, but I have friends like this. I think it's cool.

My ex and I lived in separate universes. In my present relationship, I am an extrovert and my PYL is an introvert. So I have my various friends and outlets for blowing off steam, but I also enjoy our little universe and I'm okay with putting it first.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yes, his many av's make me dizzy. Or perhaps it's just the naked torso?

Nevertheless, I shall read his thread.

Enjoy. I must warn you that the quality of the posts tapers off around page 110 but it picks back up again about 30 pages later.

oh thank you thank you thank you

I know what I'm doing tonight.

As with Keroin, I harbor the suspicion, WW, that you need a life.

 

[midwestyankee]

Ya know, they say the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem.

I'm just relating a fact, Ms. Mouse. A compulsion is not inherently a problem, especially if said compulsion leaves scores of delectable women swooning in one's trail.

 

[satindesire]

Oh Satin, when will you learn that no one on this board cares about your opinion?

JOKE!!! Kidding! Stop throwing rotten vegetables!

If you choose to spend most or all of your time with your partner and it works for you...terrific. But let me ask you this, if you and your hubby are out with friends, do you ignore everyone else and only pay attention to him?

I don't think so. I could be wrong.

As much as that -was- just a joke (and I took no offense to it at all!) it can sometimes really feel that way. I'm just not exciting or controversial enough for everyone's attention

Anyway...In person, I'm very friendly and warm, and very polite, and in Cali I had no trouble at all making friends. The thing is, I seem to have trouble making friends with girls my own age in this town since I have -very- little in common with them. I get on more with nerds and gamer geeks, and there are NONE here in this town. I'm not a cowgirl, I love horses but don't own any, and I don't wear western clothes, rodeo, or listen to country music. Nor am I a drinker...and in a town as small as this, going to a bar is pretty much the only nightlife there is.

So, to answer your question in a long-winded way...I don't -have- any friends. I'm a city girl, not a country girl. And although I've tried, 95% of the women my age simply aren't nerds like me. I'm actually okay with that, though. As long as I have my parents, my husband, and my cats, I'm cool. ^_^ Mister is just a fucking AWESOME guy, and we get on like a house on fire. He's really a great friend and a great husband, so he satisfies almost all of my social needs.

But when we lived in Cali, and we hung out with a large circle of friends, no, I didn't ignore everyone and only pay attention to him, that would just be rude!! I went out shopping and hanging out with several girls in particular who were my pals, it's just a really different vibe here in smalltown Oklahoma.

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm just relating a fact, Ms. Mouse. A compulsion is not inherently a problem, especially if said compulsion leaves scores of delectable women swooning in one's trail.

Noted and filed.

 

[wicked woman]

As with Keroin, I harbor the suspicion, WW, that you need a life.

You're probably right...too much work.

*and parts of my life are just joyous, thank you*

 

[midwestyankee]

OK, MWY, I took the bait. I hope I haven't bared too much of my soul here! My answers...

To begin: What is your definition of love? That feeling I get when I eat a good bar of dark chocolate.

What experiences helped shape your definition? Eating chocolate and then times when I was unable to eat chocolate.

What have you read that helped form your definition? The ingredients on the back of the Lindt 85% cocoa chocolate bar.

Taking familial love as a given, what other forms of love can you identify? Love of cocoa and cocoa related products.

What are the limits on loving? Can we love more than one person at a time (again, all outside the category of familial love)? Unequivocally...yep.

What freedom do we gain through love? What constraints do we take on through love? We gain the freedom to say, "I think today I'll have 70% cocoa if I damn well please!". However, if you buy to much chocolate, you will go broke, which takes away financial freedom. It's a slippery slope.

What is the difference between being in love and loving someone? I am "in love" with chocolate but I "love" people who give me chocolate. Quite simple, really.

Any more questions?

Sorry I missed this earlier. Yes, there is one more question:

How much wood would a good sub suck if a good sub could suck wood? (Trust me, it's pertinent.)

 

[Keroin]

Sorry I missed this earlier. Yes, there is one more question:

How much wood would a good sub suck if a good sub could suck wood? (Trust me, it's pertinent.)

It depends on what the meaning of the word "if" is.

 

[midwestyankee]

It depends on what the meaning of the word "if" is.

In this case, "if" means "sub is given permission."

 

[Keroin]

In this case, "if" means "sub is given permission."

Ah, that makes sense. Now, if you could define "is" for me...

*Smiles a very Bill Clinton-y smile*