Love.......Hate.......Attraction?

[lesbiaphrodite]

Have you ever met someone who you just hated on impact? Is hate an indication of some level of attraction? Is hate love turned inside-out?

There's a line from "Gilda," an old film noir starring Rita Hayworth. It goes something like this:

"I hate you so much I think I'm going to die from it." (Of course, a passionate kiss follows this admission.)

So, after watching "Gilda" again last night for the thousandth time or so, it got me thinking: What is that thin line between love and hate?

Thoughts and stuff?

 

[Katyusha]

Have you ever met someone who you just hated on impact? Is hate an indication of some level of attraction? Is hate love turned inside-out?

There's a line from "Gilda," an old film noir starring Rita Hayworth. It goes something like this:

"I hate you so much I think I'm going to die from it." (Of course, a passionate kiss follows this admission.)

So, after watching "Gilda" again last night for the thousandth time or so, it got me thinking: What is that thin line between love and hate?

Thoughts and stuff?

In general, they're actually very similar emotions. I know a lot of people think that love and hate are opposites but they aren't, because they both indicate a level of caring about the person and the situation, either in a negative light or a positive one.

Have you ever been truly in love with someone only to have them shatter your heart into such tiny pieces that you don't think you'll ever be able to put it back together? Love can turn to hate in an instant. By the same token, hate, at least in a case like this, can turn to love, because you're spending so much energy on the person that things change in your eyes.

The opposite of both love and hate is apathy; one emotion can turn to another very quickly but it's hard to stop feeling anything at all for someone.

Obviously, this does not apply to all situations where love and hate might be involved. There are many different types of hate with many facets, just as there are many different types of love, each with many facets. Some are further away from each other than others are. But when it comes to the chemistry between two people who, for all intents and purposes can't stand each other, hate and love can almost be the same thing.

 

[Liar]

I instinctively develop hate-feelings towards loud, boisterous, obnoxious people. Those who are so sure of their own splendidness (or of their own humblemess for that matter) that I just want to punch them in the groin.

Part of it is because, well, they're douchebags.

Part of it is because I'm envious of, and a little bit infatuated by, their confidence.

 

[rgraham666]

Hate is an emotion I work assiduously to avoid. It's addicting and like all addictions poisonous to your soul, mind and body.

If I think I'm going to hate someone I cut off all interaction with them, to avoid temptation. In the same manner an alcoholic doesn't go into bars.

Gotta love the ignore button.

 

[Guest]

........

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

“Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire.” Kurt Tucholsky

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

There are certain personalities which I clash with immediately... And I avoid those individuals at all costs. There's Zero chance of it turning into attraction. Though, admittedly, I wouldn't say that there's a burning, seething "hate" associated with them... just pure aggravation.

On the other hand, there are people that I love dearly, that are painful to love. And there is definitely a hateful feeling... but it isn't towards the individual themselves. Usually it is the situation. I hate the feeling I have of caring so much and not being able to do anything about a situation... It's impossible not to love... it's impossible to let go... But at the same time it hurts so much to be a part of it.

My brother, when he was younger, is a good example of that. He's a great guy... A bit of a slacker sometimes... but it was extremely painful to see him go through the homeless (by choice) loser on drugs phase. I'd be furious to the point of tears because I loved him so much and couldn't do anything to reach him.

But I'm also painfully familiar with the love/hate attraction. And I agree that the two emotions really aren't that far apart from each other. There's an intense passion driving each. You can't feel that strongly about something (in either case) unless it touches you personally on some level. And being touched that deeply... whether negative or positive... is an intimate process. If there's any sort of chemistry between those two people... it really doesn't seem so surprising to me that those intimate moments turn into something entirely different.

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

“Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire.” Kurt Tucholsky

If that's the case... my grandparents must have really, Really, REALLY, REEEAAAALLLLYYY loved me once...

 

[jomar]

I instinctively develop hate-feelings towards loud, boisterous, obnoxious people. Those who are so sure of their own splendidness (or of their own humblemess for that matter) that I just want to punch them in the groin.

Part of it is because, well, they're douchebags.

Part of it is because I'm envious of, and a little bit infatuated by, their confidence.

Feel free to not be so envious. What you described can easily be overcompensation for insecurities or reflect emotional or mental health issues.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Love and hate I see as a scale of the same emotion. Think of a ruler with LOVE at one end and Hate at the other.

Generally we are somewhere inbetween when we interact with others. But our position on the ruler isn't static, we move up and down the scale as events over take us.

Just the way I imagine it.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Feel free to not be so envious. What you described can easily be overcompensation for insecurities or reflect emotional or mental health issues.

Or, it could be that being loud, obnoxious and boistrous is the way someone is born and they don't particularly care if you like it or not.


Loud, boistrous and occasionally obnoxious,

 

[jomar]

Or, it could be that being loud, obnoxious and boistrous is the way someone is born and they don't particularly care if you like it or not.


Loud, boistrous and occasionally obnoxious,

Well, in that case, it could still fall under the same categories, present company excluded, of course.

 

[3113]

Since the people I usually hate are fucking stupid, and that seems to be my major criteria for hating them, that they're fucking stupid...I seriously doubt I'd ever be attracted to or love any of them. And so far, no. I've never felt an attraction for anyone I've truly hated. Now, anger to the point of saying, "I hate you!" to someone I love, yes, that I've done

 

[Liar]

Loud, boistrous and occasionally obnoxious,

I hate you, man.

 

[Guest]

I understand what you're getting at.
Some people use this as a defense mechanism. I'm not really sure about the specifics but from what I gather it seems that if they are attracted to a person, yet for some reason can't be with that peron, they go the other side of the fence and convince themselve's that they hate that person.
Makes it easier to believe they're not missing out on anything.
I think.

Could be wrong though.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I think we've conflated two emotions into the one word; dislike, as 3113 expressed it-- where you have no fellow-feeling for someone. Irritation, and perhaps a sense of obstacle are about the most you can do. Apathy; it's easy to ignore them.

And the other emotion is based on your connection with that person. Those are the people whom you just can't ignore, who frustrate and really anger you. You could, possibly, slip from hate to love and back again...

 

[Guest]

And in in some cases there are just people you Loooove to hate

because

well because they deserve it

 

[CharleyH]

Have you ever met someone who you just hated on impact? Is hate an indication of some level of attraction? Is hate love turned inside-out?

There's a line from "Gilda," an old film noir starring Rita Hayworth. It goes something like this:

"I hate you so much I think I'm going to die from it." (Of course, a passionate kiss follows this admission.)

So, after watching "Gilda" again last night for the thousandth time or so, it got me thinking: What is that thin line between love and hate?

Thoughts and stuff?

I met a man I can truly say I hated and I do not take that word lightly. I found him repulsive as a human being and was not attracted to him in any way shape or form. I was a waitress at the time (in my parents restaurant). From the moment he demanded a centre room table, I thought him a dick, but one I could deal with. The dinner proceeded. He complained through it all while his wife and mother said it was delicious. I smiled. He demanded me to be there pouring his wine all night and bitched if even ONE drop fell on the kerchief hung around the bottle. I heard him tell his wife she was a whore, and his mother that she was a hag. As a server, I kept my mouth shut and asked if everything was satisfactory. He said yes. He insulted me on two occasions after that, but I kept my mouth shut as he was more concerned with attempting to humiliate the women he was with.

By coffee and dessert I can say that I was shaking with kill impulses by how he treated his wife and mother and me. I said nothing and he left.

He came back, He insulted me right off the bat and I told my mother I could not wait on him without putting him in his place. My mother waited on him. He said things as rude and she talked back with biting wit. He left - satisfied. He came back. She refused him in her restaurant.

As to the question... NO I will never sleep with anyone I hate.

 

[Stella_Omega]

And in in some cases there are just people you Loooove to hate

because

well because they deserve it

I don't love to hate anyone. Which is a problem for me as a writer! Bad guys and evil characters just don't keep my interest for long. I have to be satisfied with anti-heroes and conflicts of interest-- much harder to write.

 

[CharleyH]

I don't love to hate anyone. Which is a problem for me as a writer! Bad guys and evil characters just don't keep my interest for long. I have to be satisfied with anti-heroes and conflicts of interest-- much harder to write.

Evil characters are at least charming, unique and engaging. People can sometimes be truly repulsive, no?

 

[Guest]

Evil characters are at least charming. People can sometimes be truly repulsive. No?

Very true. Sadly in reality alot of people pop up that are very easily disliked