Lost Friends

[QuickDuck]

About a year ago, i made a good friend here on lit, who i used to get on very well with.

She lived around 2 hours drive away and we always planned to meet, but with our lives being busy with this, that and the other thing at the time, we never got the chance

We were good firends.... telling each other everything that went on in our lives, our thoughts and our dreams.

One day in July last year, I lost a friend of mine to cancer.

He was only 28, been married for 2 years and had 10 week old twin girls, and I was feeling my own mortality and really needed to talk to someone.

I started to talk to her about it on ICQ when she said "brb" and i have not seen her since.

In September, I sent an email to her, asking if she had fallen off the face of the earth, and got a reply telling me that she was in the process of moving house and would contact me soon.

And that was it.

Many times I have thought of emailing but never got around to it.

Maybe i should have, since today I did try to send an email, only to get the message back that that address no longer exsists.

I hate losing contact with friends, but this just seemed worse considering how close we were.

I wonder what happened?

I don;t think it was anything I did or that i could have done differently, and my only regret is that we never did meet in real life to see if the friendship carried over.

I miss her.

 

[lobito]

I was thinking of this kind of thread earlier today...

I used to talk with soomeone from here in chat occasionally, then one day, she told me someone from here told her to stop talking to me, and she did, right in the middle of our chat... Haven't chatted with her or interacted (much) since.

 

[cybergirly]

We all have those friends that we've lost touch with over time. If the friendship is important to us we do what we can to keep in touch, but it can't be one sided. Some times life just gets in the way, as sad as that may be. And all we are left with is the memories, and the occassional "I wonder what happened to so and so" thoughts.

It's even harder with online friendships.

 

[christophe]

not necessarily here but when i was in the service we all vowed to stay in touch, and at first we did...but as time waned one by one the contacts seemed to fade one by one...i always wondered what happened to those guys and gals i served with

 

[QuickDuck]

I was thinking of this kind of thread earlier today...

I used to talk with soomeone from here in chat occasionally, then one day, she told me someone from here told her to stop talking to me, and she did, right in the middle of our chat... Haven't chatted with her or interacted (much) since.

wow you just must be a bad influence

i just hate not having a closure... having things left very up in the air and not knowing why.

 

[lobito]

You're right QD, I'm a very bad influence obviously.

The same thing happened with a person back hom in C.A. Before I went back this past vacation, we had been in touch again, after months without not talking, and I called her, and we talked for 45 minutes on the phone. She told me she was looking forward to spending time with me.

When I got down there, I went to her birthday party the first week, and talked to her for a few moments, as there were too many others around to give me too much time. I called her a few times after that, adn we talked briefly, and she said she was still looking forward to spending time together, (great I thought).

I never heard from her again, and her hotmail account I'm told was closed, because of lack of use. That bothered me a lot, and was the actual cause of soem of my depression when I was there. The next 10 weeks it weighed heavily on my mind. I tried to call, and enver got an answer, and she never tried to call me, so that was that.

 

[QuickDuck]

Lob, basically it comes to a stage where (as Girly said) there is nothing more you can do and you have to let it go.

Personally, I still wonder, but I am confident it was nothing that I did or said.

Its life I guess.

 

[tulip2lipservice]

Its funny how we think of things

about the same time. The other day I was thinking of a New Zealander I used to correspond with that I met from lit chat. He was one of the first that I talked to and set me up on msn. He fell off the face of the earth also.

It is amazing how hot and cold the whole chat, board, email thing can be. So many things change in our lives but I try to look at it as learning process. Each one of them have been taught me something and I appreciate it. There are some I still about and trust me I hold fond memories of them even if we travel on here differently or different times.

Peace,
Tulip

 

[QuickDuck]

Re: Its funny how we think of things

It is amazing how hot and cold the whole chat, board, email thing can be. So many things change in our lives but I try to look at it as learning process. Each one of them have been taught me something and I appreciate it. There are some I still about and trust me I hold fond memories of them even if we travel on here differently or different times.

I couldn't agree more.

 

[lobito]

Lob, basically it comes to a stage where (as Girly said) there is nothing more you can do and you have to let it go.

Personally, I still wonder, but I am confident it was nothing that I did or said.

Its life I guess.

you're absolutely right, I guess however, that I cared too much. Still do, who knows maybe one day, out of the blue she'll come back into my life, I don't know. I think about her often still, but I don't worry, BECAUSE there's nothing I can do. I'm living my life, and I'd guess she's living hers.

 

[Guest]

 

[QuickDuck]

For a fee of $350 I can track her for you.

*chuckle* not a bad idea Hanns, but she knows the number, she will use it if she wants.

I ain't losing any sleep over it

 

[Eumenides]

I miss Pagliacci. But he has reasons for his absence. I don't know if we will ever talk again. Sometimes that makes me sad, and at other times I am just grateful for the friendship we shared while we did, briefly lived as it was.

Sometimes we have to look at what we *did* have rather than what we *don't* have anymore.

 

[QuickDuck]

Sometimes we have to look at what we *did* have rather than what we *don't* have anymore.

Very very good point

 

[WaxNWane]

Sometimes we have to look at what we *did* have rather than what we *don't* have anymore.

Well said. It all comes down to time well spent, even if that only serves to soothe a little.

 

[foxxxyred]

I've had two friends fall off the face of the earth in the last 12 months......two real life friends. Two of my best friends.

Can't explain it, and believe me i've tried to contact them. One won't answer my calls, and the other, i got sick of making all the effort. He was so excited to see me last time, said he'd call so we could get togther again. That was last July and haven't heard from him since.

I feel your pain Ducky!

 

[Lost Cause]

Find them, or fuck 'em!

I went to the internet web white pages, and found a friend I was stationed with way back. I called, gave him a heart attack, and it was so much fun! If you find them, contact them, and they don't want to chat, fuck 'em! You got a life to live, and it's soooo short you can't waste time thinking about it.

 

[Ask For More]

I really miss someone from this board too. It's been two years since I've spoken to her.

Problem is I didn't have her address or contact details, one day she disappeared from MSN and still hasn't come back.

 

[QuickDuck]

LC, that actually sounds like alot of fun

 

[Dillinger]

I can empathize with this. I have lost touch with online and real life friends over the years but I remember them and those friendships.

It was also not that long ago that a veyr similar thing to what you described happened. A friend and I chatted on yahoo one evening. Nothing unusual. Nothing out of the ordinary. The next day she wasn't around. Or the next or the next. 6 months later I haven't heard from her still - nor has anyone else who knew her online.

I have to wonder what happened. I hope she is OK and her life just took her in a different direction. But the way it happened, the suddeness. No warning. Makes me wonder what did happen.

 

[Agent99]

Unfortunately, I think it is cyclical. Didn't lots of us swear that we would never lose touch with our friends from high school? Heck, by the end of first semester in college, we had all but forgotten them.

Same for our college pals. We grew up, moved away, got jobs, started families and stopped writing or calling lots of them after a while. Making new friends at each job was easy, but keeping in touch after moving on was the real work.

I have a small, yet extremely close group of friends that are as determined as I am to interact daily, weekly, monthly or, at the very least, annually.

Cyber friends are every bit as real as the folks we meet in person. And they are every bit as easy to lose touch with as well. Eumenides has the sweetest, most positive spin on this subject. We should embrace the memories of the things we shared with our friends and not dwell on the fact that they have, for whatever reason, exited our orbit.

If they return, we are all the better for it. If we never reestablish contact, we can remember the past.

 

[QuickDuck]

Unfortunately, I think it is cyclical. Didn't lots of us swear that we would never lose touch with our friends from high school?

people actually had friends in high school?

 

[Eumenides]

Eumenides has the sweetest, most positive spin on this subject.

Are you buttering me up?

And if so, are ya gonna sprinkle cinnamon sugar on me, too???

 

[QuickDuck]

Are you buttering me up?

And if so, are ya gonna sprinkle cinnamon sugar on me, too???

and can i watch?

 

[Agent99]

Yummmmmm....


sugarcinnamontoasted emoodie and duck.

I could eat you both up!