Lord Pmann Wants to Discuss Weird Sex Stuff

[Apisto42]

So I'm still out cause my mouth sucks like a machine?

No, you’re out because my dick can’t reach across the country.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Did you ever get that golf ball through the garden hose?

1) I have better things to suck than garden hoses

2) why would I want to choke on a golf ball?

3) if this is a euphemism, I'm concerned about why there's a golf ball in your garden hose

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

No, you’re out because my dick can’t reach across the country.

...yet

 

[AuntieDisco]

Maybe he wants the sensory deprivation so he can focus on the physical sensation? Maybe I'm projecting?

And that’s fine but I wouldn’t want to try it out in the chair if I had the hardware to get the wholesome experience

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

1) I have better things to suck than garden hoses

Alright, alright, you don't have to brag about it. I've seen it, I get it

2) why would I want to choke on a golf ball?

#humblebrag

3) if this is a euphemism, I'm concerned about why there's a golf ball in your garden hose

How else am I supposed to get the kidney stones out?

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

And that’s fine but I wouldn’t want to try it out in the chair if I had the hardware to get the wholesome experience

Heh. Hardware. Clever you

 

[AuntieDisco]

Heh. Hardware. Clever you

I mean what else would you call it?

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

I mean what else would you call it?

No, that's a good name for that apparatus, I was just pointing to a double entendre

 

[hotwords229_A]

Is he blindfolded because he wants his mind to believe that it’s a woman?

I assume he’s blindfolded because his girlfriend blindfolded him, tied his hands to the chair and hooked him up to the machine while she went out for the day.

She wants him good and hard for tonight.

At least, that’s what I think.

 

[hotoldrguy]

If you type in “Shop Vac Penis” you get a lot of penis pump results. Which, in turn, could lead one to think they are basically the same thing.

The internet is a dangerous place!

I did, however, find an article that said this:

"The fact that five patients were found to have vacuum cleaner injuries to the penis in the past twenty years in a town of approximately 50,000 persons suggests that this may be a more common injury than was supposed. Most patients will attempt to fabricate a plausible story to explain their penile injury, but the majority, on closer questioning, will eventually relate the truth. Perhaps the true cause of many penile injuries goes unrecorded in busy metropolitan emergency rooms, and this may account for the paucity of reported cases."

I would love to hear some of the “attempt(s) to fabricate a plausible story”. I bet that could make a great coffee table book.

I wonder what story I would fabricate to explain that?

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I assume he’s blindfolded because his girlfriend blindfolded him, tied his hands to the chair and hooked him up to the machine while she went out for the day.

She wants him good and hard for tonight.

At least, that’s what I think.

He's gonna be so chaffed

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

How else am I supposed to get the kidney stones out?

Has this like ever worked for you?
Hey babe, I really need that blowjob. I have kidney stones

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Has this like ever worked for you?
Hey babe, I really need that blowjob. I have kidney stones

I need to try this

 

[SmokingFap]

After watching what a breast pump did to my wife’s nipples, there’s no fucking way I’m hooking anything with suction up to my tool.

After seeing what a breast pump did to my wife's nipples, I wanted to become a professional breast pump.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Has this like ever worked for you?
Hey babe, I really need that blowjob. I have kidney stones

This is a really good angle.

 

[Sol41]

I have a few

Scat. I dont play anymore so its more a mental turn on/fantasy only these days.

Incest. My feelings on this one are on- going.

Mumification. As an example, sealed up w plastic wrap w a hole so I can breathe but not move at all = so hot

Mud. Never gotten the chance to do it irl but muddy skin is such a huge turn on for my stupid brain lol. Same application for body paint.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I have a few

Scat. I dont play anymore so its more a mental turn on/fantasy only these days.

Just now seeing this.

Not trying to be all judgy here, but I'm curious about this one. Not curious as in "I want to try this". Curious as in, "How did one get into this?" And is it just a fantasy or is it something you actually did (or would do)? The way you wrote it made me think you actually did it at one point. It would seem tough to find a partner who was into that.

That is definitely a hard limit for me.

Mumification. As an example, sealed up w plastic wrap w a hole so I can breathe but not move at all = so hot

Is this a fetish that others have? Ive never heard of this one.

Mud. Never gotten the chance to do it irl but muddy skin is such a huge turn on for my stupid brain lol. Same application for body paint.

This seems tame.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Mumification. As an example, sealed up w plastic wrap w a hole so I can breathe but not move at all = so hot

Mud. Never gotten the chance to do it irl but muddy skin is such a huge turn on for my stupid brain lol. Same application for body paint.

I can see the appeal of both of these.

I've been painted, but not necessarily for sexual titillation. I love the feeling of mud on my skin and can only imagine the eroticism of that sensation in a sexy scenario.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I can see the appeal of both of these.

I've been painted, but not necessarily for sexual titillation. I love the feeling of mud on my skin and can only imagine the eroticism of that sensation in a sexy scenario.

You're trying so hard to get my attention. When I said mud crickets are hot, this isn't what I meant.

 

[Sol41]

I can see the appeal of both of these.

I've been painted, but not necessarily for sexual titillation. I love the feeling of mud on my skin and can only imagine the eroticism of that sensation in a sexy scenario.

Yeah you totally yet it. Slick warm mud bewteen my soft parts

 

[Sol41]

Also @Lord Pmann you didnt come off judgemental at all, just asking a question which is totally fine.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Also @Lord Pmann you didnt come off judgemental at all, just asking a question which is totally fine.

I’m known around these parts for my lack of judgment and progressive nature.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I’m known around these parts for my lack of judgment and progressive nature.

He even wears a T-shirt advertising this "fact"

 

[Lord Pmann]

He even wears a T-shirt advertising this "fact"

Everyone knows this is bullshit. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a T-shirt, flower child.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Everyone knows this is bullshit. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a T-shirt, flower child.

*Polo*

Better?