Loony Limericks

[Jennifer C]

Masochist lady named Jenn
Had a rather unique yen
She liked to be hit
on her breast ass and clit
By strapping muscular men

Oh you know me so well!

 

[Matthew Craig]

There once was a powerful wizard
who had a great pain in his gizzard
So he ate wind and snow
at 50 below
and farted a forty day blizzard.

 

[Jennifer C]

"Please wait in the bathroom", said Flo
To her eager young bridegroom, "Although
We're now married you must
Give me time to adjust;
I'll undress if you promise to go."

An hour or so later she said
To him, "Darling, I'm ready in bed."
But the groom was outside
With no thought for his bride
For the bridesmaid was giving him head.

 

[tungtied2u]

*****

 

[Matthew Craig]

There lived an old man by the bay
Who wanted to find a good lay
He approached a young lass
With a tight little ass
He just didn't know that he'd have to pay.

 

[Jennifer C]

"My genitals! GONE!!" Consternation.
Poor Tommy cried tears of frustration.
The surgeon tight-lipped
Said, "The chisel, it slipped.
I'm afraid I lost all concentration."

"The chisel!?" "Well that; or the saw.
Or the bread-knife (I'm not really sure)."
"You used WHAT!? and a chisel?"
"Look Tommy, don't grizzle
Now. Is your appendix still sore?"

 

[lemmesee]

Jill preferred having sex on the phone,
she felt safer when she was alone.
The man he would stroke, and wish he could poke,
as she yearned for his really long bone!

 

[King_durandel]

.......................

 

[lemmesee]

Joe likes to play with his dick,
he rubs it until it gets thick.
Then he gets in his car, and goes to a bar,
where a girl will do him a trick!