Loony Limericks

[Jennifer C]

For the loony in us all

There once was a man named Sweeny
whose wife was a terrible meany
The hatch on her snatch
Had a catch that would latch
And she could only get fucked by Houdini.

Have a go

 

[Jennifer C]

There once was a man from Madrass
Who's balls were constructed of brass
When jangled together
They played stormy weather
And lightening shot out of his ass!

 

[Jennifer C]

There was a young man from New Castle,
Who recieved a brown paper parcel.
In it was shit,
And on it was writ,
A message to you from my asshole.

 

[BluePoet]

First two are kind of cute, and I've seen them online many times. Are these your original limericks?

 

[Jennifer C]

First two are kind of cute, and I've seen them online many times. Are these your original limericks?

No, just ones i've been told ~ Think there kinda funny and good for a laugh

Limericks are a good way to write and have fun at the same time.

 

[BrinkOfDoom]

Inspired by last night's Leno...

Oh, have you seen Emily Ramsden?
She failed to keep her handcuffs hidden
When posing in bed
She showed us instead
How newlyweds like to be ridden.

 

[Jennifer C]

Oh, have you seen Emily Ramsden?
She failed to keep her handcuffs hidden
When posing in bed
She showed us instead
How newlyweds like to be ridden.

lol cheers for that hun

 

[Remec]

The once was a sailor from Seaboard,
Who's computer station was leeward,
He was reading some porn,
As they rounded Cape Horn,
And got more than mist on his keyboard.

 

[Jennifer C]

The once was a sailor from Seaboard,
Who's computer station was leeward,
He was reading some porn,
As they rounded Cape Horn,
And got more than mist on his keyboard.

LMAO

Hey remec

Here's to the girl named Louise
Who's pussy hair hung to her knees
The crabs got together
and Knitted a sweater
So in the winter her pussy wont freeze

 

[oggbashan]

There is an old man called Og
Who writes to annoy his dog
His prose is a jawful
His poetry's just awful
It croaks worse than a frog.

 

[oggbashan]

This forum is Poetry Feedback
Not for Limericks to attack
So give them a miss
Maybe go for a piss
Or roll your partner on her back.

 

[Jennifer C]

There is an old man called Og
Who writes to annoy his dog
His prose is a jawful
His poetry's just awful
It croaks worse than a frog.

Thank you Og

 

[oggbashan]

A wonderful place is our Lit
Celebrating both penis and clit:
We're ever so frank
About having a wank -
Unlike some I don't mind a bit.

 

[BrinkOfDoom]

Nice ones Og! You're pretty good at this! You too, Remec - very sly, that one... loved the cape horn line.

Ok, anyone else like Emily Dickinson?

Sweet little Emily Dickinson
Wanted her cherry to jettison.
From poet to prowler
With Emily Fowler
She cashed all her innocence in.

The Belle of Amherst in a verse
Could make a wetnurse rehearse
Her brother to vie
Had given the cry
"I smell Epistolary intercourse!"

She claimed she never saw a moor
But felt waves crash upon the shore.
She bore their brunt
Inside her cunt,
Which she let Sarah Gilbert explore.

She claimed she never saw the sea
But felt at once the misery
Of floating hot
And holding not
Her love for all the world to see.

Brink of Doooom!!!

 

[Jennifer C]

A widow whose singular vice
was to keep her late husband on ice.
Said "It's been hard since I lost him-
Ill never defrost him!
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price.

 

[Jennifer C]

There once was a young man from Brighton,
Who remarked to his woman, "My, you're a tight one."
She said, "Upon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole,
There's plenty of room in the right one!"

 

[The Mutt]

A Shakespearian actor named Harris
was found dead on a stage outside Paris
seems he'd had a twirl
with Hamlet's best girl
and ended up stabbed through the arrass.

 

[My Erotic Tale]

there once was a beach nasty bitty
her pussy was a frisky kitty
she cursed her men
while they were fucking
cause sand gets a bit gritty

 

[The Mutt]

When asked if her pussy was hairy,
Miss Oatlash replied, "Oh yes, very!
But for all of my charms
it's the hair 'neath my arms
that makes my little Mutt Boy so merry!"

 

[Jennifer C]

When asked if her pussy was hairy,
Miss Oatlash replied, "Oh yes, very!
But for all of my charms
it's the hair 'neath my arms
that makes my little Mutt Boy so merry!"

lol very good Mutt

 

[Jennifer C]

There once was a man from Capri
Who tried to piss over a tree
The tree was too high
And it fell in his eye
And now the poor bugger can't see.

 

[The Mutt]

The cop on the case soon detected,
that the victims were somehow connected,
they'd all met their fate
from a breakfast they'd ate;
there's a cereal killer suspected.

 

[Jennifer C]

The cop on the case soon detected,
that the victims were somehow connected,
they'd all met their fate
from a breakfast they'd ate;
there's a cereal killer suspected.

LMAO

 

[Jennifer C]

Downstairs in the living-room Jill
Was vibrating herself for a thrill;
Up above through a crack
In the ceiling peered Jack
Wanking madly and ready to spill.

As Jill started fondling her nips
And ecstatically grinding her hips
With her thighs open wide
And her dildo inside
Through the ceiling came creamy white drips.

 

[oggbashan]

Let me give you a tip
Don't date a girl with a whip
Or you may well find
you are sore behind
When she asks you to strip