timtoolmanishere
Virgin
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2021
- Posts
- 3
This is Part 1 of my first full-length story. I'm looking for feedback on content, continuity, length, prose, and anything else that might be relevant.
The story is centered around a brother and sister in their twenties, navigating their relationship as they temporarily share an apartment. I know the general pitch here is overly cliche, but I wanted to stick with something I felt comfortable writing the first time around.
Part 1 is 5300 words. The story will likely be four parts, but I want to make sure I'm heading down the right path with what I've done so far.
Here is a sample:
We were born to mixed-race parents. Dad was white, from Upstate New York, and our mom was from a small town in South Korea. They met while my dad was stationed in Seoul with the U.S. Army and eventually married back in the States. After my mom's accident, dad regularly took us to Korea to visit our grandparents. Aubrey and I enjoyed the trips, mainly because they showered us with gifts and money, but it was challenging to communicate with the language barrier. We managed to get by with a family friend occasionally translating, but Aubrey was left frustrated that she couldn't understand them without help. After Aubrey graduated high school, she applied to the "Korean Culture and Language" program at the University of Minnesota, intending to move to Korea to teach language for a few years.
The story is centered around a brother and sister in their twenties, navigating their relationship as they temporarily share an apartment. I know the general pitch here is overly cliche, but I wanted to stick with something I felt comfortable writing the first time around.
Part 1 is 5300 words. The story will likely be four parts, but I want to make sure I'm heading down the right path with what I've done so far.
Here is a sample:
We were born to mixed-race parents. Dad was white, from Upstate New York, and our mom was from a small town in South Korea. They met while my dad was stationed in Seoul with the U.S. Army and eventually married back in the States. After my mom's accident, dad regularly took us to Korea to visit our grandparents. Aubrey and I enjoyed the trips, mainly because they showered us with gifts and money, but it was challenging to communicate with the language barrier. We managed to get by with a family friend occasionally translating, but Aubrey was left frustrated that she couldn't understand them without help. After Aubrey graduated high school, she applied to the "Korean Culture and Language" program at the University of Minnesota, intending to move to Korea to teach language for a few years.
