Looking for specific feedback on a BDSM story

[carlsberg24]

Hi All,

I have started posting the installments of my first story (titled "ICBG") a couple of weeks ago and while I have received quite a bit of feedback, it is usually generic and doesn't aid me in terms of improving the quality of my writing going forward.

That's why I came up with this little non-scientific Poll. How would you rate the story, provided that you took the time to read it of course ? Provide a rating between 1 and 5. Any additional, detailed comments to go with the ratings are very welcome.
1. Plot pacing (1 - too slow, 3 - just right, 5 - too fast)
2. Character development (1 - insufficient, 3 - just right, 5 - overdone)
3. Sexual content (1 - too little, 3 - just right, 5 - too much)
4. Subject matter (1 - boring, 3 - interesting, 5 - exciting)
5. Dialogue quality (1 - crap, 3 - passable, 5 - gripping)
6. Dialogue quantity (1 - too little, 3 - just right, 5 - too much)
7. Narration style (1 - stilted, 3 - descriptive enough, 5 - illuminating)

Thanks in advance for taking the time to respond. Btw, here's the link to part 1 (of 3 at the moment) of the story:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=494737

 

[PacoFear]

I'll be interested to see how many people respond to your poll. Not a bad idea. Getting folks to provide a serious and thoughtful critique can be tough.

Here are two alternatives for pursuing substantive feedback:

1) The Story Discussion Circle Forum. Check the FAQs for the process. There's an etiquette to it.

2) The Editor's Forum. Ask (nicely) for a "beta-" or "second-reader" who will dig into the meat of your story and share their thoughts. Again, read the FAQs. There's an etiquette to that too.

When I get more time, I'll swing back to your stories.

Best of luck,

-PF

 

[Experiencedguy]

I took the time to read your story, and then found out you have your PM's disabled.

Some of us don't want the other readers to read our comments, so we use PM's.

Sorry, your loss, not mine.

 

[mokkelke]

it's an intriguing start. one questions, what does ICBG stand for? it's the tittle, gets referred to multiple times but we don't know what they stand for. just mentioning it once at the start is enough.
my main tip would be is to make sure you don't make your paragraphs too long, it really makes reading online a chore. i try to keep mine to 5/7 lines. I know it sometimes will interrupt an explanation but the readers won't mind that if it makes the overall reading smoother.