Looking for someone to read my story

[hypo]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post here and I am putting this up to hopefully try and find someone that would be interested in reading the story I am writing and commenting or giving me some feedback on my first attempt at writing erotica.

The story started out as an attempt by me to try and put some of my daydreams on paper and has so far gone relatively well but I am new at doing this and was hoping that I could get some feedback from other people on what they think I have written so far. The setting takes place in the near future on a colony that has a male shortage problem in the population following a devastating world war. It is somewhat inspired by the sliders episode "Love Gods" as well as this story I found on lit about a breeding colony.

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=89804

If you are intrigued by this subject matter or are just interested in giving me some feedback my msn is hyp3o and my yahoo nick is hyp3ooo. Anyway thanks!

 

[SeaCat]

Okay,

I have read it.

Now let me think about it for a bit and I'll give you a comment or two.

Cat

 

[Liar]

Hi hypo, welcome to the nuthouse.

Try posting your request at the Story Feedback forum too. They are generally keen on helping a writer out.

 

[angelicminx]

Okay, I read the story and I left a public comment, but I'll comment here as well. I thought the initial descriptions were a little over the top and would have back-clicked if not for your read request. I liked the story. Once I got past the flowery prose it was enthralling. So far it has a wonderful storyline and excellent flow. It's worth a read. Watch the descriptions in future pieces, however.