ASimpleWriter
Virgin
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2007
- Posts
- 2
Looking for some assitance on my story.
I'm looking for someone who can help me with the nuances of the language. I think I do a quasi-ok job, but really would like that extra set of eyes.
What I would like edited is about 9k words of: First person perspective, pre-spell checked, BDSM tilted, total fantasy.
Here's a sample so you have an idea what it looks like.
******
My two friends show up around the same time also. The first one is Jeremy; he’s my oldest boldest friend, and possibly the most successful heterosexual I’ve ever known. That’s a nice way of saying that he’s a man whore. Jer’s one of those guys who can’t find a soul mate, and has no intentions of ever looking. Weirdly he and I are the same build and height. Both at a lanky six foot one, the big distinctions are he’s got a more angular nose, and dark, black, thick hair, while I’ve got a more rounded Irish face and fine brown hair.
My other companion is Mark. Mark’s completely different from me and Jer. He’s shorter at only about five foot eight, and fucking huge. He’s currently trying to compete in all natural amateur body building competitions. Other than that he’s an obvious Italian. Thick hair and olive skin, the dude was raised in California, but looks like he’s fresh off the boat.
When we are all assembled at the shop, we run like a smooth machine, Jeremy is the light and sign guy, Mark checks the messages and emails, and I double check what inbound and out bound deliveries might or might not be occurring. Our merchandise is role play paraphernalia, dice, books, miniatures, maps, etc and comics, action figures, trade paperbacks, and graphic novels.
I'm looking for someone who can help me with the nuances of the language. I think I do a quasi-ok job, but really would like that extra set of eyes.
What I would like edited is about 9k words of: First person perspective, pre-spell checked, BDSM tilted, total fantasy.
Here's a sample so you have an idea what it looks like.
******
My two friends show up around the same time also. The first one is Jeremy; he’s my oldest boldest friend, and possibly the most successful heterosexual I’ve ever known. That’s a nice way of saying that he’s a man whore. Jer’s one of those guys who can’t find a soul mate, and has no intentions of ever looking. Weirdly he and I are the same build and height. Both at a lanky six foot one, the big distinctions are he’s got a more angular nose, and dark, black, thick hair, while I’ve got a more rounded Irish face and fine brown hair.
My other companion is Mark. Mark’s completely different from me and Jer. He’s shorter at only about five foot eight, and fucking huge. He’s currently trying to compete in all natural amateur body building competitions. Other than that he’s an obvious Italian. Thick hair and olive skin, the dude was raised in California, but looks like he’s fresh off the boat.
When we are all assembled at the shop, we run like a smooth machine, Jeremy is the light and sign guy, Mark checks the messages and emails, and I double check what inbound and out bound deliveries might or might not be occurring. Our merchandise is role play paraphernalia, dice, books, miniatures, maps, etc and comics, action figures, trade paperbacks, and graphic novels.
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