FelixPick
Virgin
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2011
- Posts
- 14
I'm writing a series of short stories that explores the second person perspective as a way of writing my erotic fiction. I am aware that there are some grammatical issues with poor comma placement and run-ons, but I'm looking for feedback on things outside of grammar.
Here are the two stories:
http://www.literotica.com/s/you-series-pt-01-the-massage
http://www.literotica.com/s/you-series-pt-02-remote-control
Thanks in advance.
Here are the two stories:
http://www.literotica.com/s/you-series-pt-01-the-massage
http://www.literotica.com/s/you-series-pt-02-remote-control
Thanks in advance.