Looking for some BDSM help

[HappilyM]

I have started a new story, and as usual my imagination, maybe desires , have gotten the best of me. The problem is that I only understand this world from what I researched and read. What I am looking for is someone to help me with the relationship part. I am not even sure if I can go this route. My lead players are both dominant. The sumbmissive is going to be the female, but she is very complex and strong willed.

I am afraid to make a lot first-time mistakes. I don't need editor help, just a little guidence on the subject. If any one is willing please contact me through the e-mail address via my sign-on name. Thanks for all of your help in advance

 

[snooper]

????

... If any one is willing please contact me through the e-mail address via my sign-on name. ...

Sorry! That user has specified that they do not wish to receive emails. If you still wish to send an email to this user, please contact the administrator and they may be able to help.

So switch e-mail on if you want an answer!

 

[HappilyM]

Thought it was on

I am still new to this. I was just able to send myself a privat e-mail. Oh, darn computers, mine has a major problem with IM I have to hook up my lap-top to do that. Here is a glimpse of what I hope is on the right track...


I was feeling better and dinner was delicious, I decided now was the time to talk to Alex. “Samantha was talking to me earlier. She told me that you are involved in a world that I not only don’t understand, but one that quite frankly scares the shit out of me.” There I said it. I was so proud of me.

“She told you about the rooms in my house, too?” Alex’s tone and demeanor was one of cautious speculation. I think he knew he had to handle this very carefully or else I was gone.

“Yeah, she said you have more whips than some riding schools inside one of the rooms.” I was feeling very authoritative in a curious kind of way.

“It is true I do enjoy giving a good spanking. But I only indulge in my fantasies with 100% willing partners. I sincerely enjoy your company and I do not want you to feel scared or be intimidated by any lifestyle choice of mine. Dominatrix slave relationship is very intricate. The relationship is built on mutual trust and pleasure. The slave is free to come and go as she pleases in my world. I do not force anything on anyone at anytime.

“Further more I am not sure if our relationship is going to take that twist. Have you ever been spaked?”

“No, and in all honesty I don’t think it is something I would like. If this relationship is to continue am I to understand that there will be other women that you are going to be sexually involved in?” I said it and I was so ready to leave at that very moment. Not only was I not going to grovel on my hands and knees but I sure as hell was not going to become his whipping post. What would make him think that I was even the least bit interested in this type of behavior?

“No, I firmly believe in monogamous relationships. But I got a sense that behind that strong-willed, self-reliant exterior there is a submissive lady dying to be freed. Maybe I was wrong. But I will not force anything on you. I deeply care and respect you.” His whole conversation with me has been in a strong but caring tone that reeks of total control.

“I didn’t want to scare you off, that is why I have not said anything up till when you just asked. I would be thrilled if in the course of your healing you would let me introduce to some of the lighter aspects of BDSM”

“All I can picture is you in all leather trying to whip me into submission, with a leather mask over your face. All the while I am bound and gagged to this menacing looking contraption that is used to help you break my will. I thought you were a member of the Natural Horsemanship crowd that trained a horse to accept the human as the herd leader without force or trauma? Was I wrong?”

“Actually the two are very similar. And yes I believe in training a horse without breaking his or her spirit. As with any creature if taught by fear and force a trusting relationship can and will never develop. Everything in life takes patience and TLC. As far as whipping is concerned it is only used as a means to discipline.

“For example, you and Jezzy, you would not just take your dressage whip to her for any reason. But a few strategically placed taps can make her more responsive to your leg, or can make her reach farther under herself, creating better self-carriage.”

“Okay so you are telling me that I would only be whipped if I didn’t lick your toes clean or better yet I forgot to saw ‘Yes Sir’?” I was becoming very sarcastic in my tone and I didn’t care I was not going to be treated like an animal.

“Yes, if you called me ‘Yes, Sir’ I would whip your ass for being disrespectful towards me. But it is also done in the context of your enjoyment. With a level of pain added to the pleasure the end result is much more intense. In the bathtub when I pinched your nipples as hard as I could, your ultimate orgasm was so intense you passed out. That is what the pain is for, a more intense release.” His tone never wavered during the whole conversation. I had never met someone as in control as he appeared. I was becoming more intrigued and excited by his explanation.

 

[HappilyM]

I am curious if...

I am curious if I should post this another area. Maybe the Author's Hangout. I might get more of a response.

 

[RogueLurker]

I am curious if I should post this another area. Maybe the Author's Hangout. I might get more of a response.

If you're looking for a "reality check" on what you've done so far with your story, you could try the BDSM forum. I'm sure that there will be posters there that can give you some insight into the relationship side of BDSM.

 

[snooper]

I am curious if I should post this another area. Maybe the Author's Hangout. I might get more of a response.

Three hours sixteen minutes isn't long to wait for a response. Some of us are in different time zones round the world.

 

[HappilyM]

I can wait

I was just expecting other people to chime in, but I guess that is not going to happen. Besides I am very happy with all of the help you are privately giving. No disrespect was meant towards you.

 

[RogueLurker]

The VE's tend to be quiet and reserved ... we're shy about public posts. There is also alot less traffic on this forum than on the others - even less due to the holidays.

Glad to hear you're getting the feedback you are looking for.

 

[Toa_lin]

well, I'm a VE from the BDSM corner, and I'm not too shy, so let's see what you've got there... well, it does have a feeling of reality for some. Because the BDSM lifestyles vary greatly between one couple and another. It could be passed off as realistic and wouldn't be argued against too much. But first, I suggest you get an editor to fix several spelling, grammer and sentenc structure errors. Just a thought.

 

[HappilyM]

Thanks

But first, I suggest you get an editor to fix several spelling, grammer and sentenc structure errors. Just a thought.

I have not even reread it my self, but yes I do utilize an editor. This piece is far from polished, I was just hoping I was on the right track. No sense trying to polish something that is going to wind-up being deleted. LOL

I appreciate the feed back.

 

[Rad'l]

Good start

HappilyM:

Not being in the lifestyle - I can only comment on the words that I read. You have a good thing going - I thought that I was looking into the character's mind. You do need to proof for spelling and punctuation.

Rad'l

 

[Toa_lin]

I have not even reread it my self, but yes I do utilize an editor. This piece is far from polished, I was just hoping I was on the right track. No sense trying to polish something that is going to wind-up being deleted. LOL

I appreciate the feed back.

Hehe, okay, but yes, you are doing well for making it seem realistic. But the beauty of BDSM, at least to me, is all the ranges of emotional reactions to everything that can be attained. All teh possible ways of looking at it, adn enjoying it. So it's really hard to do something that's not at least acceptibly plausible.

 

[HappilyM]

Okay maybe I missed the boat.

I was lumping everything together and the explaination Alex gave to Sarah was not totally fair. I have since rewritten it. Please tell me what you all think. If you are going to rip apart my spelling and grammer, have fun. If you are going to help me understand what I am saying, thank you.

“She told you about the rooms in my house, also?” Alex’s tone and demeanor was one of cautious speculation. I think he knew he had to handle this very carefully or else I was gone.

“Yeah, she said you have more whips than some riding schools inside one of the rooms.” I was feeling very authoritative in a curious kind of way.

“There are many different realms to BDSM, it can range from mild to severe. On the sever side is the sadomasochist, that is where pain and pleasure are totally intertwined. Needles, hot wax, sever spankings, and sometime blood. I am not interested in that, and myself do not truly understand it. It is true I do enjoy giving a good spanking, but not to that degree. Then there is a Dom/slave relationship. This is where I feel you are little misdirected. I think you have a vision of a dog collar being affixed to your neck and then chained to a post. You will curl-up around at my feet, and eat and drink out of a dog bowl.

“To relieve your anxiety, I do not care for that either. You are a very spirited person and I would never request anyone to do that. Then there is another layer that involves a Dom/submissive relationship. This is generally where I fit in. I am propelled by the feeling of power associated here.

“I enjoy watching a woman’s body responding to my touch. I receive such an adrenaline rush from watching, let’s just say you, being tied up to the point that you cannot move. As I run a feather up your thigh. I can watch the wetness develop between your legs. I can run an ice cube over your nipple and watch it become as hard as a pebble. The feeling of power that I derive from watching your body respond to my trusting touch is what I am searching for. Not to humiliate you or watch you grovel at my feet.

“I will only indulge my fantasies with a one-hundred-percent willing partner. I sincerely enjoy your company and I do not want you to feel scared or to be intimidated by any lifestyle choices of mine. The dominant/sub relationship is far more intricate, but I will elaborate more later. The relationship is built on mutual trust and pleasure. The sub is free to come and go as she pleases in my world. I do not force anything on anyone at anytime.

“Furthermore I am not sure if our relationship is going to take that twist. Have you ever been spanked?”

“No, and in all honesty I don’t think it is something I would like. If this relationship is to continue, am I to understand that there will be other women that you are going to be sexually involved with?” I said it, and I was so ready to leave at that very moment. Not only was I not going to grovel on my hands and knees, I still was not convinced. But I sure as hell was not going to become his whipping post. What would make him think that I was even the least bit interested in this type of behavior?

“No, I firmly believe in monogamous relationships. But I got a sense that behind that strong-willed, self-reliant exterior there is a submissive lady dying to be freed. Maybe I was wrong. But I will not force anything on you. I deeply care for and respect you. If you still feel uncomfortable I can offer your intellect a few good books to read.” His whole conversation with me had been in a strong but caring tone that reeked of total control.

“I didn’t want to scare you off, which is why I have not said anything up to now, when you asked me. I would be thrilled if, in the course of your healing you would let me introduce to some of the lighter aspects of BDSM.”

“All I can picture is you in all leather trying to whip me into submission, with a leather mask over your face. All the while I am bound and gagged to this menacing-looking contraption that is used to help you break my will. I thought you were a member of the Natural Horsemanship crowd that trained a horse to accept the human as the herd leader without force or trauma? Was I wrong?”

“Actually the two are very similar. And yes I believe in training a horse without breaking his or her spirit. As with any creature, if taught by fear and force, a trusting relationship cannot and never will develop. Everything in life takes patience and tender loving care. As far as whipping is concerned…” I could see he was almost getting to the point of agitated with me. But I was in new uncharted territory. Maybe if I read I would understand.

“For example, with you and Jezzy—you would not just take your dressage whip to her for any reason. But a few strategically placed taps can make her more responsive to your leg, or can make her reach farther under herself, creating better self-carriage.”

“Okay so you are telling me that I would only be whipped if I didn’t lick your toes clean or better yet I forgot to say, ‘Yes Sir’?” I was becoming very sarcastic in my tone and I didn’t care; I was not going to be treated like an animal.

“You are missing the point. The media has demonized BDSM to the point that to an outsider it looks like abuse. It is not, by any stretch of the imagination. Adults have offered their consent, anything other than consensual activities is being done by a truly sick individual and it is not BDSM.

“As far as spanking you, I offer spanking as a form of punishment and pleasure. Yes, the two are related. Okay, there are a few rooms in my house where scenes take place. For example the fantasy of a Headmaster and a schoolgirl. If the school girl had done something wrong, like talking in class and disrespecting the Headmaster, she would be spanked. But it would be done in context of pleasure.

“Okay, in the bathtub when I pinched your nipples hard, your ultimate orgasm was so intense you passed out. That is what the pain is for, a more intense release. You still don’t understand?” His tone never wavered during the whole conversation. I had never met someone as in control as he appeared. I was becoming more intrigued and excited by his explanation.

“No not really. I am not scared just confused. I know you would never hurt me.” I truly believed that.

“I will let it be for, now. Come, let’s get some sleep; you are going to have a very long day tomorrow.” He kissed my forehead and helped me into bed.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I was lumping everything together and the explaination Alex gave to Sarah was not totally fair. I have since rewritten it. Please tell me what you all think. If you are going to rip apart my spelling and grammer, have fun. If you are going to help me understand what I am saying, thank you.

“She told you about the rooms in my house, also?” Alex’s tone and demeanor was one of cautious speculation. I think he knew he had to handle this very carefully or else I was gone.

“Yeah, she said you have more whips than some riding schools inside one of the rooms.” I was feeling very authoritative in a curious kind of way.

“There are many different realms to BDSM, it can range from mild to severe. On the sever side is the sadomasochist, that is where pain and pleasure are totally intertwined. Needles, hot wax, sever spankings, and sometime blood. I am not interested in that, and myself do not truly understand it. It is true I do enjoy giving a good spanking, but not to that degree. Then there is a Dom/slave relationship. This is where I feel you are little misdirected. I think you have a vision of a dog collar being affixed to your neck and then chained to a post. You will curl-up around at my feet, and eat and drink out of a dog bowl.

“To relieve your anxiety, I do not care for that either. You are a very spirited person and I would never request anyone to do that. Then there is another layer that involves a Dom/submissive relationship. This is generally where I fit in. I am propelled by the feeling of power associated here.

“I enjoy watching a woman’s body responding to my touch. I receive such an adrenaline rush from watching, let’s just say you, being tied up to the point that you cannot move. As I run a feather up your thigh. I can watch the wetness develop between your legs. I can run an ice cube over your nipple and watch it become as hard as a pebble. The feeling of power that I derive from watching your body respond to my trusting touch is what I am searching for. Not to humiliate you or watch you grovel at my feet.

“I will only indulge my fantasies with a one-hundred-percent willing partner. I sincerely enjoy your company and I do not want you to feel scared or to be intimidated by any lifestyle choices of mine. The dominant/sub relationship is far more intricate, but I will elaborate more later. The relationship is built on mutual trust and pleasure. The sub is free to come and go as she pleases in my world. I do not force anything on anyone at anytime.

“Furthermore I am not sure if our relationship is going to take that twist. Have you ever been spanked?”

“No, and in all honesty I don’t think it is something I would like. If this relationship is to continue, am I to understand that there will be other women that you are going to be sexually involved with?” I said it, and I was so ready to leave at that very moment. Not only was I not going to grovel on my hands and knees, I still was not convinced. But I sure as hell was not going to become his whipping post. What would make him think that I was even the least bit interested in this type of behavior?

“No, I firmly believe in monogamous relationships. But I got a sense that behind that strong-willed, self-reliant exterior there is a submissive lady dying to be freed. Maybe I was wrong. But I will not force anything on you. I deeply care for and respect you. If you still feel uncomfortable I can offer your intellect a few good books to read.” His whole conversation with me had been in a strong but caring tone that reeked of total control.

“I didn’t want to scare you off, which is why I have not said anything up to now, when you asked me. I would be thrilled if, in the course of your healing you would let me introduce to some of the lighter aspects of BDSM.”

“All I can picture is you in all leather trying to whip me into submission, with a leather mask over your face. All the while I am bound and gagged to this menacing-looking contraption that is used to help you break my will. I thought you were a member of the Natural Horsemanship crowd that trained a horse to accept the human as the herd leader without force or trauma? Was I wrong?”

“Actually the two are very similar. And yes I believe in training a horse without breaking his or her spirit. As with any creature, if taught by fear and force, a trusting relationship cannot and never will develop. Everything in life takes patience and tender loving care. As far as whipping is concerned…” I could see he was almost getting to the point of agitated with me. But I was in new uncharted territory. Maybe if I read I would understand.

“For example, with you and Jezzy—you would not just take your dressage whip to her for any reason. But a few strategically placed taps can make her more responsive to your leg, or can make her reach farther under herself, creating better self-carriage.”

“Okay so you are telling me that I would only be whipped if I didn’t lick your toes clean or better yet I forgot to say, ‘Yes Sir’?” I was becoming very sarcastic in my tone and I didn’t care; I was not going to be treated like an animal.

“You are missing the point. The media has demonized BDSM to the point that to an outsider it looks like abuse. It is not, by any stretch of the imagination. Adults have offered their consent, anything other than consensual activities is being done by a truly sick individual and it is not BDSM.

“As far as spanking you, I offer spanking as a form of punishment and pleasure. Yes, the two are related. Okay, there are a few rooms in my house where scenes take place. For example the fantasy of a Headmaster and a schoolgirl. If the school girl had done something wrong, like talking in class and disrespecting the Headmaster, she would be spanked. But it would be done in context of pleasure.

“Okay, in the bathtub when I pinched your nipples hard, your ultimate orgasm was so intense you passed out. That is what the pain is for, a more intense release. You still don’t understand?” His tone never wavered during the whole conversation. I had never met someone as in control as he appeared. I was becoming more intrigued and excited by his explanation.

“No not really. I am not scared just confused. I know you would never hurt me.” I truly believed that.

“I will let it be for, now. Come, let’s get some sleep; you are going to have a very long day tomorrow.” He kissed my forehead and helped me into bed.

Like your style myself......give me a couple of weeks to work on some of my own stories, and I might get yours edited and ready.