Looking for my "first" playmate......

[curious_wife]

I am a married bicurious female. I have tried to find women in my area with no luck!! Boo hoo!! I so want to have my "first" time with an experienced woman who is willing to teach this "virgin". I have been wanting this for a long time and I can't believe it's so hard to find someone. I come on boards like this one and it seems like there are so many women who want to try or are bi, but they are never in my area. Any suggestions? I masturbate all the time thinking about being with a woman. It just seems to exciting and erotic.

 

[LindaL]

I'd counsel patience, and honesty. I didn't set out to find women lovers, I set out to develop friendships with other women. I cultivated over a dozen good solid friendships over the course of 5 or 6 years. I am still good friends with nearly all of them. Two did develop into "intimate" friendships, but that was really sort of independent of me actually seeking out lovers.

 

[grinzelda]

What your describing is nothing more then a f--k buddy....at you call whenever the "mood" strikes you! How self-centered is that? Wonderful intimacy with another womyn takes time and you must be willing to give of yourself too!

 

[Bi_Sammie]

What your describing is nothing more then a f--k buddy....at you call whenever the "mood" strikes you! How self-centered is that? Wonderful intimacy with another womyn takes time and you must be willing to give of yourself too!

What is a "womyn"?

 

[Nackereia]

What is a "womyn"?

I think it's another way of saying woman =)

 

[eepy]

I am a married bicurious female. I have tried to find women in my area with no luck!! Boo hoo!! I so want to have my "first" time with an experienced woman who is willing to teach this "virgin". I have been wanting this for a long time and I can't believe it's so hard to find someone. I come on boards like this one and it seems like there are so many women who want to try or are bi, but they are never in my area. Any suggestions? I masturbate all the time thinking about being with a woman. It just seems to exciting and erotic.

Good luck, CW. I'm kinda in the same position, curious about being with a woman (although I'm not married or in a hetero relationship at the moment).

I'm not in your area, but I'm sure you should be able to find something. I've heard that Yahoo IM and MSN Groups are good places to start. Whatever you do, do not go to any AOL Chat Rooms -- you'll just get bombarded with IMs from horny boys. Ugh.

Anyway, good luck

Originally posted by grinzelda
What your describing is nothing more then a f--k buddy....at you call whenever the "mood" strikes you! How self-centered is that? Wonderful intimacy with another womyn takes time and you must be willing to give of yourself too!

To each his (or her) own.

Personally, I'd much rather have feelings (rather strong feelings) for someone, and have them be returned, before getting physical, but I can understand why a bi-curious woman would be interested in getting right to the physical, just to check it out.

Anyway, judge not lest ye be judged, k?

 

[eepy]

What is a "womyn"?

I think it has to do with taking the "man" out of "woman" and thus empowering females.

Something like that.

 

[SweetErika]

You're right...there are a ton of women looking for the same thing. Have you tried other personals such as adultfriendfinder.com or craigslist.org?

A word of warning: Advertising yourself as a "virgin" or someone who "needs to be taught" might not get positive responses. I think a lot of women interpret it to mean you're more likely to back out or just want to receive. I'm certainly not suggesting you lie, but if you're committed to trying this, you might want to say something like "while I don't have a lot of experience, I'm extremely turned on by women and can't wait to share incredible pleasure." Essentially, portray confidence because if it's right, you'll just know what to do.

Linda also gave great advice about cultivating friendships with bi or bicurious women. I've done the same with excellent results. If you're only interested in the sex, you might want to consider joining a couple with a man who will watch or only touch his SO (you'll have no trouble finding couples) or swinging.

Best of luck to you!

 

[eepy]

You're so smart, Erika

 

[SweetErika]

You're so smart, Erika

Thanks, eepy, but remember "Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment." (Jim Horning) is all too true.

 

[eepy]

Thanks, eepy, but remember "Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment." (Jim Horning) is all too true.

That is an excellent quote!

My mom is always saying that I'll "learn from experience," but then I end up doing the same stupid thing again, and again, and again... Maybe, eventually, my bad judgment will lead to good judgment... I sure hope so, because I'm sick and tired of getting hurt.

 

[SweetErika]

That is an excellent quote!

My mom is always saying that I'll "learn from experience," but then I end up doing the same stupid thing again, and again, and again... Maybe, eventually, my bad judgment will lead to good judgment... I sure hope so, because I'm sick and tired of getting hurt.

Well, I can't completely believe my experience comes from bad judgement (that launches me into a horrible cycle of guilt), but think about this...All of our experiences give us knowledge and make us stronger... perhaps there is a reason you're doing the same thing over and over. Plus, the experience was only a mistake if you learn SOMETHING from it.

Don't be too hard on yourself, Eepy, and refuse to believe life is happening to you. You have the power to change and choose the actions and consequences if you want to.

A little more food for thought: "Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment onwards you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed." Eileen Caddy

 

[LindaL]

Linda also gave great advice about cultivating friendships with bi or bicurious women. I've done the same with excellent results. If you're only interested in the sex, you might want to consider joining a couple with a man who will watch or only touch his SO (you'll have no trouble finding couples) or swinging.

Thanks for noticing me, Erika! I've admired your wise input here!

Actually I just set out to cultivate lots of friendships with like-minded women, before it was even real clear to me that I was bi. By like-minded, I mean independent, liberal women who tended to go against the prevailing local culture of religious conservativism in my area.

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for noticing me, Erika! I've admired your wise input here!

Actually I just set out to cultivate lots of friendships with like-minded women, before it was even real clear to me that I was bi. By like-minded, I mean independent, liberal women who tended to go against the prevailing local culture of religious conservativism in my area.

Likewise, Linda....a belated welcome to a great addition to the community!

 

[eepy]

Well, I can't completely believe my experience comes from bad judgement (that launches me into a horrible cycle of guilt), but think about this...All of our experiences give us knowledge and make us stronger... perhaps there is a reason you're doing the same thing over and over. Plus, the experience was only a mistake if you learn SOMETHING from it.

Don't be too hard on yourself, Eepy, and refuse to believe life is happening to you. You have the power to change and choose the actions and consequences if you want to.

A little more food for thought: "Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment onwards you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed." Eileen Caddy

Thanks for that I'm going to have to print that out and tape it to my computer for encouragement. I'm a dork like that

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for that I'm going to have to print that out and tape it to my computer for encouragement. I'm a dork like that

I'm a dork like that too...I collect quotes and music that remind me of things and then read and listen to them all of the time. Even dorkier...I have affirmations posted all over my house!

 

[hotladie24]

just in the same positions as you do. I've been with a woman three times along my life and although I consider myself hetero I keep on having phantasies and masturbating about women .
If you want keep in touch.