Looking for 'how to' on CBT

[Pique]

Hi,

I've done a few searches, but have had difficulty finding the information that I want (I'm usually good at searches, but for some reason not on this board!). There are many threads that have great ideas (and some safety tips), reasons why people like/dislike it, and personal reflections from both viewpoints, but I just need some very basic information on how to start. My husband and I are slowly experimenting and moving more into BDSM, but it is kind of tough to sift through all of the material out there and figure out what is realistic for us at the stage we are at. Fantasies are great, but we have to learn to walk before we can run. I love having control and I *really* like inflicting pain, but my fear of permanently hurting him is also very strong and makes me timid in that particular area.

I want a basic 'how to' primer on CBT, that starts us off with relatively simple things and actually tells/shows me how to do stuff. I can look at the pictures from the catalogs, but I can't always figure out how to attach things , for instance. We are real noobies here. If anybody knows of a good resource for safety guidelines that would be great too, there was a link in a previous post but it was no longer functional.

I've been a lurker here for a while and just recently joined as an 'official' member of the board; I look forward to the input from everyone. Thanks for any advice or leads you can provide,

Pique

P.S. I've had trouble connecting with active groups in NC, my spouse is not interested in that aspect but I think it could be invaluable to speak/learn from folks this way. I'm a bit nervous about meeting somebody I know at a munch or other gathering, because something like that could definitely affect my job, but I guess I need to decide if the risk is worth taking.

 

[CutieMouse]

I found a few links in the Library under Genital Torture (I think that's what it was listed under... scattered brain, today). You might also run a search for Shank's threads - he probably knows more about CBT than anyone else on the board. (other than maybe maybe Netz...)

I hope that helps!

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

Hi. You can see if there's a "Munch" in your area. It's "scene" jargon for an informal lunch or dinner at a local restaurant with a group of people who are into, or want to get into the BDSM scene. No pressure -- just a lot of interesting conversation over a relaxing meal. I've been to several in my time, here in the NYC area.

I personally have experience as a recipient of CBT (my favorite form of play), and would be glad to answer any questions about it.

-- Ouch --

 

[WVDom]

Resources

Take a look at the "Frugaldomme.com" website, in the techniques section. Lots of info there.. hope it helps

 

[wordwilling]

Well Thought of CBT "How-To"

Below is a book that I haven't read myself, but have seen other CBT practitioners praise highly. You can check it out online at Amazon.com in the book department. It is:

The Family Jewels: A Guide to Male Genital Play and Torment by Hardy Haberman at Amazon Books.

It covers anatomy, safety and techniques.

Cheers,

WordWilling

 

[Pique]

Awesome thanks! The last several posts have exactly the type of information I was looking for...more about mechanics rather than the self reflections, although those are interesting too.

 

[justjon]

I have recently joined a site called www.femaledom.com/forum/
they have a forum section there and lots of fascinating threads all about everybodys favourite subject CBT (have to say i love it!)

Also, have a look at www.myfemdomclips.com/ they have a couple of instructional videos, it's mainly short clips etc but i have seen on there a couple of the longer, instructional type....happy tormenting!

 

[Netzach]

Correction: Shank *definitely* knows more than I do about it.

And I have to say I love the Haberman book - you will feel both safety minded and devious having read it.

 

[Shankara20]

Correction: Shank *definitely* knows more than I do about it.

I will gladly share what I know about playing with the wonderful male equipment.

Pique, have you interest in hot wax, rope bondage, weight hanging from balls, needles, sounds (rods into your cock), electro shock, percussion (smackin' them around some), edging, is bruising ok?

Let us know your interest. I have some step-by-step photos covering bondage, sounds, wax, weights and cock rings if you are interested that I can post. If there is something else you drawn to let me know, I may be able to find something.

Have fun - Shank.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I will gladly share what I know about playing with the wonderful male equipment.

Pique, have you interest in hot wax, rope bondage, weight hanging from balls, needles, sounds (rods into your cock), electro shock, percussion (smackin' them around some), edging, is bruising ok?

Let us know your interest. I have some step-by-step photos covering bondage, sounds, wax, weights and cock rings if you are interested that I can post. If there is something else you drawn to let me know, I may be able to find something.

Have fun - Shank.

ahem.
Do want.


Do.

bj

 

[Shankara20]

ahem.
Do want.


Do.

bj

oh dear.....

 

[Pique]

Wow, thanks for the offer!

We are just starting out, so the needles and sounds are not going to be something we attempt right off the bat. I'm particularly interested in bondage techniques (please remember, I'm a noob at this!), weights, and rings/separators. I was very intrigued by a mesh/wire device that was advertised at JT Stockroom, but I'm not sure if it is worth the money or if it is just 'gimmicky'. I'd like to move to wax at some point, but I think that is something we will need to build up to. Light slapping and smacking sounds good, but I don't feel confident in my knowledge at this point to actually move to the point of bruising...too worried about permanent damage, and I'm not sure he's ready to go there either.

 

[justjon]

I'd like to move to wax at some point, but I think that is something we will need to build up to. Light slapping and smacking sounds good, but I don't feel confident in my knowledge at this point to actually move to the point of bruising...too worried about permanent damage, and I'm not sure he's ready to go there either.

Wax is a fantastic substance, just make sure there is no pubic hair to get in the way, as you will just spend hours picking it all out once it has set, and that just gets tedious! Also, go for the coloured wax candles, reds, blacks etc if you are new as they melt at a much lower temperature than the ordinary white ones and you dont need to worry about burn marks/scars.
As for the smacking, you will have to smack pretty damn hard before you get into permanent damage, just start lightly and keep getting progresivley harder untill you think thats about it, and then just one more for good luck!

 

[EasyDoesIt]

Ball squeezing (with hand) is incredibly erotic to me once I am revved up. This at the same time as a deep long french kiss....gets my attention. Start with one nut. One relaxed and one squeezed creates a sort of hot/cold feeling.

For ball slapping, it's pretty tough to beat the long handled wooden spoon you have in your kitchen. Small spoon heads are good for one nut while large spoon heads can accomodate the entire sack and both nuggets.

I'm a big fan of cat-o-nine-tails. Dragged on the skin it tickles and swung it can create major hurt with all the variations in between.

For binding, try to find 3-4 foot of stretchy rubber tubing. The stretch makes it more forgiving and easier to work with than rope/cord. It can be choked off against itself......making knots unneeded. You can tighten it by simply pulling harder on the next wrap. Works for cbt and can also be used to bind breasts.

As with all binding that might constrict blood flow, dont leave it on long and loosen periodically. Bind the balls and then spank them. Oh my.

 

[Shankara20]

Wow, thanks for the offer!

I am still looking for a "how to" post I did about cock bondage. While looking I ran across these links I have posted in the past.



link 1

link 2

 

[unpredictablebijou]

The t-shirt concept is particularly gorgeous. Very primitive. Gives me ideas.

my gratitude, and of course my encouragement to find more...

bj

 

[Pique]

Thanks for the pics and the info!

EasyDoesIt (and others), would it make the most sense to do the binding with a cock ring in place, or would I just make sure the binding material is snug enough at the base to produce the same/similar effect? I like the idea of starting off with the stretchy/flexible tubing!

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

Re: CBT

An ex-girlfriend of mine, who had a sadistic bent, liked to torment me by taking my ball sac into her mouth and pressing each nut, one-by-one, hard with her tongue against the roof of her mouth. She would alternate nuts until I couldn't take it anymore...and then some . She also liked to rake the head and shaft of my cock with her teeth during a bj session. I found both of these activities to be quite a turn-on (being the true masochist that I am!)

 

[EasyDoesIt]

Experiment....It makes it more fun!

Thanks for the pics and the info!

EasyDoesIt (and others), would it make the most sense to do the binding with a cock ring in place, or would I just make sure the binding material is snug enough at the base to produce the same/similar effect? I like the idea of starting off with the stretchy/flexible tubing!

Cock rings and binding will produce very different sensations. Try each technique alone to explore how you each enjoy the play. Binding the scrotum can begin with one loop around it. Then you can repeat the loop pushing the nuggets further away from the body stretching the scrotum. The sensation does change with each subsequent wrap of the scrotum. Might also want to try binding scrotum and penis together.

The tubing eliminates the need for knots while still maintaining tightness. Its much easier (especially beginning) than knots.

Enjoy.