Looking for feedback

[Galeogirl]

My first story, "Luscious," is up in the BDSM section. I'm looking for constructive critiques and feedback.

Please note that the exaggerated overuse of question marks near the end of the story was an error that occurred during posting when all of my apostrophes were mysteriously replaced by them. It is not a poor attempt at stylization.

Galeo

 

[kristydoll]

I am one of those people who hate looking for the link (or perhaps too lazy *grins*). If you post it, I will sure take a look.

kristy

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

Wow, very nice job. I loved your story and so that more people will read it I'll add the link to it for you.
Wicked

Galeogirl's "Luscious"

Wicked's Stories

 

[kristydoll]

I enjoyed how you incorporated her "need and desire" into the story. Usually, I don't prefer the present tense, but it worked here.

I just wish the story had gone on longer *grins*

And thanks, Wicked, for the link.

kristy

 

[BigTexan]

Very Hot!

Galeogirl,

I'm new here too, my first story is waiting to be approved, but I thought your story was super hot!

Like KristyDoll, I typically don't like "Present Tense" stories, but you made it work beautifully. I especially loved the ending.

If I do have any criticism at all, and believe me I mean it to be constructive, it is with the physics. You tell us that her vagina is close enough to the floor that her labia rings are brushing the floor. Then a little later her juices are running down her calves. Now either this woman has some seriously long lips or this is an editing error.

Anyway, it wasn't bad enough to detract from the story. I had to look really hard just to find that.

Again this story is fantastic! It is erotic and well written.

Well done!!!

BT

 

[damppanties]

Great

I don't like BDSM stories but this one was well done. It's fabulous for a first story.

Can't you re-submit the story without those question marks? I'm sure it would help the story... I was wondering which ones are the actual Q marks and which ones are the ones which are supposed the be an apostrophe.

Keep writing.

-DP.

 

[Galeogirl]

When I say stockings, I mean thigh highs. I can tell you from experience that kneeling for long periods of time with a wet pussy will get the tops of your stockings damp because you have to shift around a little bit to stay comfortable and the juices tend to run along your skin as well as dripping onto the floor.

 

[Galeogirl]

I recently submitted an edited version of "Luscious," hopefully it will be posted without the mysterious question marks.

 

[BigTexan]

When I say stockings, I mean thigh highs. I can tell you from experience that kneeling for long periods of time with a wet pussy will get the tops of your stockings damp because you have to shift around a little bit to stay comfortable and the juices tend to run along your skin as well as dripping onto the floor.

Ahh, my bad! Sorry I was thinking of calves not thighs.

Anyway, I still say it was a fantastic story.

BigTexan

 

[Zaudika]

Great story. I also don't usually like present tense stories, but I did really like this one.
Wonderful portrait of submission that you painted..