Looking for feedback on my transgender tale

[Serrowyn]

Hey all,

As the title states, I'd love constructive feedback on my story, Sins of the Ancestor:

https://www.literotica.com/s/sins-of-the-ancestor-pt-01

I am happy to read any feedback but from my own musings and the comments left, I have a couple of specific requests:

- structure. I began this as a discovery writing piece, if I was to start over I know I'd completely change the opening

- character. Erik is an arsehole, but is he engaging? Do the supporting cast feel like real people, albeit viewed through his filter?

- grammar/missing words. This has come through comments and is my blindspot and greatest frustration. If you see these issues, please please please let me know. I'm not sure where my grammar has failed over the three parts to rectify going forwards.

- is the story engaging?

Just a little more before I depart. I'm English, so it might jar US readers to see words like colour rather than color. Also, the change is not wanted or initiated by the protagonist, so some could see it as noncon for that reason. This is the closest it gets until late into part three (where a character shares a bit of her past in vague terms, no details). If that is something you want to avoid, by all means move on.

Thanks for reading!

 

[Dam_Fool]

Really good, in-depth, believable, human. The people are like watching a event, not reading some "by-the-book" snooze fest.

 

[Kantarii]

Probably the first story in the category I have read since I started posting my own stories in the transexual & cross dresseders category months ago. It's a decent read and had to overlook some grammatical errors, but not too distracting from the story being told. The story seem "forced" in a few places, but overall the flow was okay in my opinion. I'm guessing because I write a bit different since I like to tell my stories through dialogue and conversation, convey the emotion and thoughts in a different sense. Keep up the good work!