looking for critics...

[Guest]

I am looking for someone who will give insightful feedback instead of name calling and posting my profile (as if that were relevant).
Where can I find such people?

 

[peachykeen]

Try the Story Feedback board; I got lots of great input from folks over there.

 

[Lust Engine]

Try the Story Feedback board; I got lots of great input from folks over there.

Agreed... it's good place. Go!

 

[Guest]

Try the Story Feedback board; I got lots of great input from folks over there.

eh, tried that place already. They certainly gave "feedback" but not always the helpful kind. Any sites other than Lit?

 

[abiamarie]

Find a few random people on this site you haven't talked to and become friends. Show them your ideas and stories, see how they respond.

 

[abiamarie]

Or maybe you could just keep writing here and see if things change over time.

 

[billwindows]

Where are u stories? I might give you an honest feedback. Or you can try the editors.

 

[emer]

Where are u stories? I might give you an honest feedback. Or you can try the editors.

I tried your profile which took me to another thread. Also tried the homepage you have listed. If you've published there I couldn't find it.

emer ... intelligent, honest, ambitious, creative, and very demanding ... sorry, don't have big breasts and I'm not very funny either.

 

[emer]

*expected a link by now*

 

[Guest]

here is the poem. I admit it is not my best one but from the feedback I get IRL, it is publish-worthy.

112 Ocean Ave.

Feel the chill of those who remain in spirit
Doors slam shut
The little boy near the staircase
With hallow eyes
I can feel evil everywhere
The windows frost over
Rocking chair sways
In the basement
Are photos of another life
A boy who killed his family
They are the invisible audience
I hear a dog barking
But there is none around
The fireplace wont keep away the shadows
We are in their space
And the eyes of the house look out
Aglow like jack o'lanterns
Cold and nefarious
It's the abode that never rest

 

[SexyChele]

At least be honest: you are looking for praise, not feedback. I was going to suggest the Story Feedback or Poetry Feedback forums, and then decided to do a search first.

You simply do not want honest feedback or critiquing. You want praise. Where to go for that? Don't know, unless you start some sort of "fan club only" group somewhere.

 

[lovechild27]

Ill read em for ya...I got out of writing erotic lately and do moer fiction but I know what you mean...I hate...oh this is stupid...or....the ending was weird....that does no help . Feel free to pm me...Illbe glad to read your stuff!

 

[BellaBloodAngel]

here is the poem. I admit it is not my best one but from the feedback I get IRL, it is publish-worthy.

112 Ocean Ave.

Feel the chill of those who remain in spirit
Doors slam shut
The little boy near the staircase
With hallow eyes
I can feel evil everywhere
The windows frost over
Rocking chair sways
In the basement
Are photos of another life
A boy who killed his family
They are the invisible audience
I hear a dog barking
But there is none around
The fireplace wont keep away the shadows
We are in their space
And the eyes of the house look out
Aglow like jack o'lanterns
Cold and nefarious
It's the abode that never rest

Very dark and haunting. I like it.

 

[watergirl]

Feel the chill of those who remain in spirit
Doors slam shut
The little boy near the staircase
With hallow eyes

What are hallow eyes? Hallow means sacred, hallowed means revered and adored and reverenced, ie, "our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name," or hallowed ground, (church, graveyard, whatever.) So, do you mean sacred, holy eyes? Or do you mean hollow, empty eyes? I find nothing to support the religious word in the rest of this poem.

I can feel evil everywhere
The windows frost over
Rocking chair sways
In the basement
Are photos of another life
A boy who killed his family
They are the invisible audience
I hear a dog barking
But there is none around

I like this... I'm partial to punctuation, but that's a personal thing, this is your poem, and if you don't feel it's necessary, then ok, don't use it.

The fireplace wont keep away the shadows
We are in their space
And the eyes of the house look out
Aglow like jack o'lanterns
Cold and nefarious
It's the abode that never rest

For pete's sake... put an apostrophe in "wont," please!
And, "It's the abode that never rest" - put an s on the end of rest! Aghhhhhhhh! There is poetry, and there is basic grammar. Unless you are using abode incorrectly, you need to put an S on rest.

I, We, They rest.
She, He, It rests.

Got it? My, I have been feeling cranky lately. I think I need more sleep.

 

[watergirl]

by the way

In case you are wondering, I do have a few stories up on Lit. I rarely invite feedback on them, because I don't really care. People like them, or they don't.

They're under 'watergirl' in the author index, I'm too lazy to provide a link. I just realized I might make the effort to keep myself out of the camp of those

"who wont trash my material by using personal attacks or sarcasm,someone who wont claim they know more than me and yet have no stories of their own posted here or published IRL.
I am looking for someone who will give insightful feedback instead of name calling and posting my profile (as if that were relevant). "

I don't claim my feedback is insightful, but is basic editing. I haven't looked at your profile, or called you names. What kind of feedback do you consider "insightful," if it isn't sucking up?

 

[Guest]

At least be honest: you are looking for praise, not feedback.

wrong. I am always honest and I am looking for supportive feedback, not praise. Dont put words in my mouth. Have you even read my poems?
watergirl, I dont believe in sucking up to anyone and dont expect any my way. I do ,however, believe that critique should be more than "you should stop writing".

 

[SexyChele]

wrong. I am always honest and I am looking for supportive feedback, not praise. Dont put words in my mouth. Have you even read my poems?

Yes, I have read your poems.

 

[lovechild27]

Your poem is a bunch of pretty words strung together....nice and all but re-reading it over and over again it is really nothing at all. Good poetry is specific to something and carries with it a weight of experience and emotion. Did you kill your family? Have you ever stood in this house? Giving it more specific detail will make it that much more interesting. Right now it reminds me of something an angsty 17 year old would write.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Rocking chair sways

Rocking chairs don't sway, do they? Unless, of course, they are dangling from a rope...weird house, dude.

 

[emer]

My first thought was ...

"I see dead people" ... (didn't see the movie)

I'm not a poet or a writer of any sort but I am surrounded by talented people who constantly want my feedback. Sometimes something they love, an artist or poet or musician, just doesn't touch me. I don't like Miles Davis or the Beatles. It might be good but it doesn't touch me.

I hate to say anything negative!

I showed your poem to my 13 year old daughter who is published and suffers thru numerous poetry slams ... occassionally victorious, sometimes not. She said it was OK. But also pointed out the grammatical errors.

Is there anything else we can read?

emer

 

[sheath]

Hey, De Sade.

Maybe I can offer some advice. I am a professional writer, and a professional editor. I see anywhere between five pages and three hundred pages of work come across my desk in any given week, and reviewing, editing, and being that 'critic' is what I get paid to do.

The fact is, most of the feedback or critique you receive will be negative. Why? Because a good editor doesn't have time to give you praise. An editor or critic is doing a job, whether they are volunteer or paid, and their job is to point out the problems. You already know the good points...otherwise, you wouldn't be submitting your work. From the standpoint of an editor, I would not look at it and say, 'x and y and z is good'. I would say, 'Good poem. You need work on a and b and c'. That means...anything that I do NOT mention? Consider it sterling and move on.

And you implied that someone said to you, "you should stop writing". Well, that could happen. Some critics just don't want to deal with writers who aren't what they consider 'up to speed' in their book. Everyone has prejudices. You could stumble across someone who believes that poetry should rhyme, and if it doesn't, then it is shit. (Yes, believe it or not, there ARE some out there.) Those are the ones who might say, "Stop writing, you have no talent". No, that's not true. What they are really saying is, "You don't have the kind of talent that I enjoy".

In other words, take every feedback with a grain of salt. You will have those who follow your work and think you can do no wrong. You will have those who truly believe that your work is shit. And then you will have those who offer criticism and praise, a fair balance...and those are the ones you should pay more attention to when looking for a response to your work.

Another word of advice...never scrap a project. I've seen so many writers with incredible ideas, but after a few negative comments, they have let the work fall to the wayside. The premise for your poem is a good one. Again, if it were not, you would not be trying to write about it, right? Right. If it seems like no one really likes the work, then you have two options, really. Let's assume you don't scrap it, first of all!

That means you can: Keep the work for you, and just for you, and be proud of what you have done. Or you can read, revise, and revise some more, throwing in new ideas and new avenues to reach those ideas, and rework the whole fucking thing. Keep the basic premise and the startling images. For instance: Johnny Mayberry pointed out the rocking chair. Granted, chairs don't 'sway'. But the image is very, very good. Guess how you know that? Out of the whole poem, somebody noticed and picked on THAT LINE. He said, "Weird house, dude." Yeah, he was playing with you, but the point is this: he noticed the 'strangeness' you were probably trying to convey. So, keep it. But revise it.

Watergirl had a very good point about grammar. If your style is to leave out certain punctuation, then be consistent. Always, ALWAYS ask for editing! Someone objective to your work will find mistakes that you would not find in a hundred readings. Editing is a sheer necessity. Pay attention to what she said there, because she was right.

One last word of advice. Don't overdo it. lovechild27 commented, "Your poem is a bunch of pretty words strung together....nice and all but re-reading it over and over again it is really nothing at all. Good poetry is specific to something and carries with it a weight of experience and emotion." That's a good point. You have to stir something inside the reader, or it is simply pretty words. You are trying to create something that sticks with someone later. If I read a poem or a story, and I'm thinking about it three days later, then that's a keeper.

Want an idea of what you should be doing for revisions? For instance, you say "A boy who killed his famly". For me, that kills the poem, right there. The whole point is to spur thought, and by making it exactly clear what happened, you are taking away the imagination of the reader. You can say what you need to say, and say it more poignantly, by removing that one little line. Like I said...the premise is good. You can pack this thing with emotion. It has the potential. But it does need work.

Good luck, De Sade. You have a good start right here, with the feedbacks. Why don't you work on it and post it again? I would like to see what you come up with.

S.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Lust Engine]

It's always good to be open for criticism. Hearing good or bad things can keep one's perspective. Criticism to me is just another learning tool that I think we should all be more open to.

 

[ncsunguy]

More then willing

removed

 

[Guest]

The fact is, most of the feedback or critique you receive will be negative. Why? Because a good editor doesn't have time to give you praise. An editor or critic is doing a job

Some critics just don't want to deal with writers who aren't what they consider 'up to speed' in their book. Everyone has prejudices.

In other words, take every feedback with a grain of salt. You will have those who follow your work and think you can do no wrong. You will have those who truly believe that your work is shit. And then you will have those who offer criticism and praise, a fair balance...and those are the ones you should pay more attention to when looking for a response to your work.

Another word of advice...never scrap a project. I've seen so many writers with incredible ideas, but after a few negative comments, they have let the work fall to the wayside.

One last word of advice. Don't overdo it. Good poetry is specific to something and carries with it a weight of experience and emotion." That's a good point. You have to stir something inside You can pack this thing with emotion. It has the potential. But it does need work.

thanks sheath, what you posted was helpful. In retrospect, I did come across as defensive and for that I am sorry. I will revise that poem and post a new version.
Thanks for the input everyone. Now excuse me while I retrieve my writings from the "round file".