Looking for an editor for multiple chapter story

[Kippy189]

I've completed a story that is 78 pages in Word and I'm looking for an editor. I tried using the editor listing in Literotica, but it's too unwieldy. The story I've written is about a husband and wife who become seduced by a mobster's drugs. The story has a lot of sex and is written from a man's point of view. I'm still finding grammar errors and would like someone else to read it since I sometimes find myself missing things. My user name is Kippy189 and I've posted a couple of short stories that I don't feel are as good as my latest.

Here is a very short excerpt from Chapter 1.

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Friday, when I got home there was a man walking down our stairs with my wife. He was a sort of dark, muscular, Mediterranean type. He looked to be in his early forties. Marissa was laughing at something he said. She saw me at the bottom of the stairs. “Brad, this is Tony, our new neighbor.”

Tony was a tough looking guy, the type that women seem to be attracted to for some reason. I was sure that I didn’t like him already. Little did I know that Tony was going to make my life a whole lot less boring.
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Please send me a message through Literotica if you're interested in helping me.

 

[meathead96]

Hey there,
I am one of the volunteer editors with free time, so you can send it my way if you want to. Turn on your "pm's" and "pm" me, and I will be glad to send you my email addy so you can send it in word.

I've completed a story that is 78 pages in Word and I'm looking for an editor. I tried using the editor listing in Literotica, but it's too unwieldy. The story I've written is about a husband and wife who become seduced by a mobster's drugs. The story has a lot of sex and is written from a man's point of view. I'm still finding grammar errors and would like someone else to read it since I sometimes find myself missing things. My user name is Kippy189 and I've posted a couple of short stories that I don't feel are as good as my latest.

Here is a very short excerpt from Chapter 1.

****************************
Friday, when I got home there was a man walking down our stairs with my wife. He was a sort of dark, muscular, Mediterranean type. He looked to be in his early forties. Marissa was laughing at something he said. She saw me at the bottom of the stairs. “Brad, this is Tony, our new neighbor.”

Tony was a tough looking guy, the type that women seem to be attracted to for some reason. I was sure that I didn’t like him already. Little did I know that Tony was going to make my life a whole lot less boring.
****************************
Please send me a message through Literotica if you're interested in helping me.

 

[CopperSkink]

"When I got home that Friday, there was a man waiting with my wife."
Putting "Friday" all by itself at beginning of a sentence doesn't really do anything.

"She saw me at the bottom of the stairs."
This is one of those dry, boring, simple clauses. "Subject verb noun preposition". I try to have those only at the beginning of a paragraph and hardly ever somewhere in the middle.

"Seeing me at the bottom of the stairs, she said, 'Tony, this is Rudolph. He just came to repair our electricity, but I invited him in for some sugar-free gum.' At once I was suspicious because I knew the sugar-free gum was both expensive and rare, not something my wife would ever hand out to just anybody."

 

[ttvttp]

Right now I am looking at it and hope to send it to you in the next few weeks if not sooner.