Looking for an editor for a science-fiction mind-control romance story

shelleycat1

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I have lost contact with my usual editor, no answer in over a month. So they are busy, on holiday or ill, and I'm growing impatient to publish the story. This standalone story is complete, about 13500 words long. It was inspired by one of the writing exercises in the Authors Hangout forum. So I am looking for an editor or beta-readers. Any help will be appreciated.

Title: Programmed to be a good daughter
Notes will say: She finds no demons under the bed. People close to her are worse
Tags: Science Fiction, sci-fi, Mind Control. non consent, non-consent, noncon, Romance, betrayal

Start of story:

Annie was surprised when Mark was first invited round for dinner. She did not feel anything else when they were introduced across the table, and afterwards were told to go upstairs and do homework together. Her feelings would change later when he gave her a bunch of flowers.

She took Mark up to her room, feeling shy as she invited him in. She liked pink, so the room was pink with some stuffed toys on the bed. I wonder what he thinks of it? It's my room, just where I want to be, nothing to do with him, she answered herself. She had seen Mark at school, the same year as her, but had never spoken to him. He was just one of the other pupils, not in her circle and she never thought about him. Her textbooks were neatly lined up on the shelving with decorations and two jars of flowers, and of course her special pink-and-blue folders. One with a pink heart on, for her wedding plans, and the other for cookery had a coloured cake on the blue covers. Mark seemed overwhelmed, but it was just the way she was. She didn't care what people thought, as long as she was a good daughter, was polite, and as long as her parents loved her.
 
As a fan of sci-fi, and on top of that the originator of the writing exercise in question, I'm tempted to break my rule of not doing any volunteer editing. But unfortunately I just don't have the time or energy. Sorry.

But best of luck. I hope you submit it soon. If you're stuck, have you tried using Read Aloud (or another text-to-speech feature) to help you weed out the typos and find clunky wording?
 
Thanks. That story is up - Programmed to be a good daughter.

I’m working on a Cloned Wife story. Very light on the mind control, the clone gets programmed to be the wife. The story is on the interactions developing between the three people as the clone is made, the wife meets her, the relationship between the wife and the clone, and then the three of them. Exploring a bit the morality of making a clone. The story is probably going into SF&F and is going to be between 10 and 12 thousand words. if you are up for resding this early, please let me know.
 
Thanks. That story is up - Programmed to be a good daughter.

I’m working on a Cloned Wife story. Very light on the mind control, the clone gets programmed to be the wife. The story is on the interactions developing between the three people as the clone is made, the wife meets her, the relationship between the wife and the clone, and then the three of them. Exploring a bit the morality of making a clone. The story is probably going into SF&F and is going to be between 10 and 12 thousand words. if you are up for resding this early, please let me know.
I'd be willing, since I'm a major sci-fi fan and this story will have to successfully avoid several pitfalls from similar material.
 
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