looking for advice

[CrimsonDom]

Let me start off by saying I have chronic back pain so I have my bad days. Now that being said what is the best way to handle a pet who is,having a bad day and being snappy with her Master. When I mentioned it to her she said she didn't mean to. But I feel there should be a,lesson to be learned. Thank you in,advance for your thoughts.

 

[LallyH]

You haven't specified the cause of her bad day which, personally, I feel has a bearing on this.

 

[Malich]

Let me start off by saying I have chronic back pain so I have my bad days. Now that being said what is the best way to handle a pet who is,having a bad day and being snappy with her Master. When I mentioned it to her she said she didn't mean to. But I feel there should be a,lesson to be learned. Thank you in,advance for your thoughts.

To me (and this is just me, other opinions are available, your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments), if your sub is in distress enough to be snappy the first thing to do is to determine the cause of the problem and support her without question while it gets fixed.

Punishing her for something that is potentially outside of her control while she is already unhappy with something will make the situation worse and drive a wedge between you.

Ask her politely to remember that you are not the person / thing she is really angry at (at this point if she yells that you are the problem then I'm afraid you're on your own to sort that one) and ask her to talk to you about the problem. Remind her that you're there if she needs it but that you'll not tolerate being a punch bag for someone else's transgressions.

For me, if it continues, a simple time out would probably work the best. 5 minutes of considering that talking to you should be a solution to the problem, not the cause of a new one.

 

[CrimsonDom]

I do apologize for that she said,she had not slept well.

 

[BrightlyGo]

Things She does when i'm having a bad day and getting uppity:

* gives me something physically demanding to do (apparently i get cranky if i don't exercise enough)

* 'forces' me to tell Her what's bothering me (if i know, which often i don't), or "what i want" (talking about what /i/ want is actually hard for me), and helps me deal with it.

* decides that we'll go out and do something, and tells me i must "be happy" while doing it.

* gives me some 'space' to wrestle with whatever it is, myself.

* or sometimes just says: "This is your moment of compassion: Get over yourself!"

She's pretty good at guessing which of these (or something else) will get me back on track, i guess because we've been together so long. i really am something of a trial to live with...

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Communication is always the key, people are not usually cranky for no reason.
I am glad you found out her reason.
As Malich pointed out, giving a punishment for an emotion that is outside of her control would be pointless.
Keep talking x

 

[CutieMouse]

How would you have dealt with this situation pre-D/s?

 

[CrimsonDom]

Probably the same way I ended up doing it which was give her a little space then talk it out.

 

[CrimsonDom]

Probably the same way I ended up doing it which was give her a little space then talk it out.