Looking for advice...

[Chang666]

Hey all,

I'm a MWM and have an ongoing fantasy about being with another guy. This thought has been in my head for years and way before I was married. Anyway the advice I'm looking for is how do you know if another guy may be interested in the same thing as you?

There's a guy in my office who I think is giving me subtle hints (accidental brushing of hands or leg). Before the touching I had a 'vibe' he may be bi - he's married as well - but I have no experience in this so am oblivious. God, I barely picked up the 'vibes' from women LOL). Anyone have any suggestions as to find out for sure without messing up my family and worklife.

 

[yorker85]

Excuse the vulgarity but if you want to be problem free, don't shit where you eat. If something happens with the guy at work, it'll never be completely over as long as you still see him in the office. I understand the temptation of someone wanting you, but you could be setting yourself up for a bad situation either in your marriage or in your head.

 

[Chang666]

Makes sense... thanks

Thanks Yorker85 - definitely will stear clear - never really thought about that to be honest. As the saying goes 'letting the small head think for the big one'. Still need some general advice though - anyway of knowing for sure if another guy may be interested in starting something?

 

[Etoile]

Definitely stay away from anything at the office. If you want to do exploration, discuss it with your wife (otherwise it is called "cheating" rather than "exploration") and then find somebody elsewhere than work. Work relationships, particularly "alternative" ones, can be a VERY bad thing.

 

[justindurham]

Definitely stay away from anything at the office. If you want to do exploration, discuss it with your wife (otherwise it is called "cheating" rather than "exploration") and then find somebody elsewhere than work. Work relationships, particularly "alternative" ones, can be a VERY bad thing.

i think etoile sounds like a most responsible, wise young women. my experience with "office" encounters is that everything can be fine so long as you don't fuck up. but, i have not ever managed to not fuck up. so, proceed with caution. humans are shitty, devious, selfish beings.......

 

[Etoile]

i think etoile sounds like a most responsible, wise young women.

Why thank you!

 

[Chang666]

Thanks all...

Very sound advice from everyone. It's much appreciated.

Yes Etoile I agree it would be cheating and have struggled with the thought of it for ages. Although I would love to talk about this with the wife I know from past conversations she would not understand nor tolerate it.

 

[Mr_G]

i think etoile sounds like a most responsible, wise young women. my experience with "office" encounters is that everything can be fine so long as you don't fuck up. but, i have not ever managed to not fuck up. so, proceed with caution. humans are shitty, devious, selfish beings.......

Yeah, I haven't been here long but i already recognise that you usually give pretty sound advice.

 

[Etoile]

Very sound advice from everyone. It's much appreciated.

Yes Etoile I agree it would be cheating and have struggled with the thought of it for ages. Although I would love to talk about this with the wife I know from past conversations she would not understand nor tolerate it.

I'm sorry to hear that. I do understand the need to still find out what it's like...even if you do have to go behind your wife's back. I'm pleased that you agree it would count as cheating - many people think it's justified if they have a same-sex encounter, like it's somehow not the same as an opposite-sex encounter! And yet, there is often a need to find out things about yourself. When that is the case, the smart thing to do is play safe - condoms are your best friend!

 

[Never]

Chang666:
"Although I would love to talk about this with the wife I know from past conversations she would not understand nor tolerate it."

Then you shouldn't do it.

Would it be fine with you if you found out your wife had been lying to you and going behind your back to have a relationship with another man?