Looking for a second (or third) set of eyes on an story in the NC/reluctance category

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

The story is about 19k words. It will be published in the non-consent/reluctance category. Technically, there is neither non-consent nor reluctance involved, but it plays with those themes so heavily that if you don't care for the non-con, category, you would probably be uncomfortable reading the story.

The two characters in the story are husband and wife. The story opens as he is about to pursue her on a "chase" (her word) or "hunt" (his word), in which he'll try to find her, catch her, and after a real struggle, rough sex will ensue. The struggle is real because they are deeply into their roles, and those roles are the product of real feelings. The entire process is something that they both agreed to, and it's their twisted way of dealing with a recurring relationship problem that comes to a head every one or two years. But, even though the reader knows from the beginning that this is something that's been agreed to and that the two characters love each other, the feeling during most of the story is probably more like non-consent.

I am happy with the first half of the story. I feel like some things in the second half may have gotten away from me. I'd rather not point them out here, because if someone is kind enough to help with this, I'd like for them to see it with fresh eyes.

I'm not looking for copy editing, although any errors pointed out would certainly be appreciated if they are included along with the feedback I am looking for. I am primarily interested in feedback about the storytelling and pacing. Overall impressions would be helpful. More detailed impressions of particular sequences and their place in the whole would be even more helpful.

If you're interested in offering assistance, please send me a PM to let me know the best way to send the story to you.

Thanks for your consideration.

 

[SimonDoom]

I don't have time to review your story but it sounds very interesting. I, too, like stories that explore the boundaries of nonconsent. Best of luck with finishing it to your satisfaction.

 

[EdgeBliss]

Love this kind of editing

I enjoy the category, like your synopsis and really love doing the kind of editing you're looking for.

My editing talent is for the big picture impression you described. I'm fascinated by structural underpinnings of narrative and the nature of character derlopment. Most of all, I enjoy interrogating the text for its service of artistic intent.

If you'd like, I could take a chapter and show you my process. You’d see the sorts of things I look for; the kinds of suggestion I make and the questions I ask. If it strikes a chord, we can go from there. The experience would be valuable whether or not we choose to work together.

I admire your willingness to let editors and beta readers form their own impressions. It’s not easy to do. I imagine it’s like dropping off children on the first day of school, and wishing one could usher then through the day.

Copy editing is enormously important. It doesn't appeal to me per se, but I would certainly capture anything that stood out to me.

I look forward to hearing from you.

EB

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

Thanks to everyone who offered their assistance. It has been very helpful.