Looking For A Bit of Advice

[JaxRhapsody]

I finally got something to fly over at LushStories[they're stricter than here]; Goth Night Getdown, an old story I have here. The reviewing mod cleared it after I editted it(can't believe Laurel passed it) but they changed the sentence formatting for me, which I guess was an afterthought for them.

So I am curious. I can't remember what they said, and as I write this, the site is down for maintainance, so I can't check. Something about using a period instead of a comma between two unrelated or something sentences is improper. Basically:

"Blah, blah, blah," they said as they sat down.
versus
"Blah, blah, blah." They said as they sat down.

I write -if you've never read any of my stuff- the former. I like the way it looks and have done this for years. It looks cleaner to me. I don't keep up with comstantly updating rules of writing, and haven't read an actual book in a long time. We know some people stick to old or archaic structuring, bending and/or breaking the rules be damned. I think I've seen something recently like that too, I read a few fanfics the other day.

I'm asking if it actually matters in this day and age, that I should make a conscious effort to stop writing like that, or is it okay? Now that I think about it, that could just be that mods preference, because I never saw anything in their requirements about that specifically. It got me thinking about it, though. Maybe it's in my head, but it also seems like there might be pros and cons to each way. I've been actively writing about twelve-ish years and have done this. I haven't been to the ruins of a Circuit City to fetch a floppy drive to check my old high school writing portfolio, but I might have written like that back then, too. Is this an actual issue, especially if I wanna sell my stuff?

 

[ElectricBlue]

I finally got something to fly over at LushStories[they're stricter than here]; Goth Night Getdown, an old story I have here. The reviewing mod cleared it after I editted it(can't believe Laurel passed it) but they changed the sentence formatting for me, which I guess was an afterthought for them.

So I am curious. I can't remember what they said, and as I write this, the site is down for maintainance, so I can't check. Something about using a period instead of a comma between two unrelated or something sentences is improper. Basically:

"Blah, blah, blah," they said as they sat down.
versus
"Blah, blah, blah." They said as they sat down.

The former is correct.

Of course it matters.

If Lush are promoting the latter, their editorial team should be put up against a wall and shot. But to be fair, your examples are related phrases of the same sentence. But this is a separate sentence, hence the full stop at the end of the previous sentence.

You might want to check, and quote other samples.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

"Blah, blah, blah," they said as they sat down.
versus
"Blah, blah, blah." They said as they sat down.

First is correct.
Comma is used to separate preceding dialogue from dialogue tag except when dialogue ends in ! or ?

 

[Altissimus]

As you've presented it, the former is correct and the latter is not an "acceptable alternative".

IME Lush editing standards are high. Bet you anything you want there's more to it than this.

For example, if the sentence is instead:

"We're done here." Paul turned to Mary, "As for you..."

...then obviously the period is valid.

Or, to use something closer to your example:

"Blah, blah, blah." They then sat down.

...then both ." T and ," t are valid.

When the site is back up do please come back with the specific example - I'm not saying they're perfect but in the few interactions I've had with them I'd say they were pretty darn good. I don't publish on Lush for other reasons.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

First is correct.
Comma is used to separate preceding dialogue from dialogue tag except when dialogue ends in ! or ?

Oh, I'm wanting to make sure. I know in a way dialog can be dynamic. Once the site is back up, I'll screenshot the message, or something. Usually if the dialog has actions or something, I use a comma. I'd never write "blah!," they yelled, even with a period. Like EB said; I will look at some references, anyway.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

As you've presented it, the former is correct and the latter is not an "acceptable alternative".

IME Lush editing standards are high. Bet you anything you want there's more to it than this.

For example, if the sentence is instead:

"We're done here." Paul turned to Mary, "As for you..."

...then obviously the period is valid.

Or, to use something closer to your example:

"Blah, blah, blah." They then sat down.

...then both ." T and ," t are valid.

When the site is back up do please come back with the specific example - I'm not saying their perfect but in the few interactions I've had with them I'd say they were pretty darn good. I don't publish on Lush for other reasons.

An example of how I write, is, of course, my stuff here. But yeah, once it's back up, I'll post the messages exchanged.

I wanted to publish there for more exposure. I submitted Goth Night Getdown, an old story here, and my Summer Lovin' story, She Screams For Ice Cream. The latter didn't pass because of the one scene with the karen. I tend to write towards Lits requirements and wasn't going to completely rewrite it. I found it trying to look for other erotica sites to publish on. Honestly, as much flak as we give Lit about what it does and doesn't allow, some sites allow even less.

 

[Altissimus]

An example of how I write, is, of course, my stuff here. But yeah, once it's back up, I'll post the messages exchanged.

I wanted to publish there for more exposure. I submitted Goth Night Getdown, an old story here, and my Summer Lovin' story, She Screams For Ice Cream. The latter didn't pass because of the one scene with the karen. I tend to write towards Lits requirements and wasn't going to completely rewrite it. I found it trying to look for other erotica sites to publish on. Honestly, as much flak as we give Lit about what it does and doesn't allow, some sites allow even less.

Lush is basically a LW/Incest site (though LW is broken down into cheating, cuck, etc). It has some other categories but they're hardly read. Very little Romance following, for example. They absolutely hate NC/R. As I predominantly write NC/R and Romance, that's me out. I see you write predominantly Incest so you'd probably do quite well there. You could also look into AO3.

Lush also allow micros (100 words), so putting a few of these out might up your exposure quite rapidly.

ETA: And that 10k word limit. Deal breaker for, like 99% of my stuff. Really don't get that at all.

 

[Rollinbones]

Do lush pay more than lit?

 

[gunhilltrain]

Do lush pay more than lit?

Exactly the same for both.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I finally got something to fly over at LushStories[they're stricter than here]; Goth Night Getdown, an old story I have here. The reviewing mod cleared it after I editted it(can't believe Laurel passed it) but they changed the sentence formatting for me, which I guess was an afterthought for them.

So I am curious. I can't remember what they said, and as I write this, the site is down for maintainance, so I can't check. Something about using a period instead of a comma between two unrelated or something sentences is improper. Basically:

"Blah, blah, blah," they said as they sat down.
versus
"Blah, blah, blah." They said as they sat down.

I write -if you've never read any of my stuff- the former. I like the way it looks and have done this for years. It looks cleaner to me. I don't keep up with comstantly updating rules of writing, and haven't read an actual book in a long time. We know some people stick to old or archaic structuring, bending and/or breaking the rules be damned. I think I've seen something recently like that too, I read a few fanfics the other day.

I'm asking if it actually matters in this day and age, that I should make a conscious effort to stop writing like that, or is it okay? Now that I think about it, that could just be that mods preference, because I never saw anything in their requirements about that specifically. It got me thinking about it, though. Maybe it's in my head, but it also seems like there might be pros and cons to each way. I've been actively writing about twelve-ish years and have done this. I haven't been to the ruins of a Circuit City to fetch a floppy drive to check my old high school writing portfolio, but I might have written like that back then, too. Is this an actual issue, especially if I wanna sell my stuff?

So we are allowed to mention competing sites by name? Anyway, I have wondered about that period versus comma issue, especially in dialogue. Usually I decide based on these examples.

"The subway should go to 125th Street," Juan responded. Or the order could be reversed: Juan responded, "The subway should go to 125th Street."

"The subway should go to 125th Street." Juan had obviously been thinking about the issue. It would also be a period with the order reversed.

Lush I reads and edits all stories, so it's not just an afterthought for them. More about the site below.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Lush is basically a LW/Incest site (though LW is broken down into cheating, cuck, etc). It has some other categories but they're hardly read. Very little Romance following, for example. They absolutely hate NC/R. As I predominantly write NC/R and Romance, that's me out. I see you write predominantly Incest so you'd probably do quite well there. You could also look into AO3.

Lush also allow micros (100 words), so putting a few of these out might up your exposure quite rapidly.

ETA: And that 10k word limit. Deal breaker for, like 99% of my stuff. Really don't get that at all.

I just noticed that 10K world limit, although they waffle a bit. "A story can be returned with a request for it to be broken down into several smaller chapters at the discretion of the moderating team, as stories over 10,000 words are often difficult to process."

Advantages of Lush:

Their age limit is sixteen, which is good for coming of age stories. That's probably why I first went there.
Since they do proofread everything, I suppose it's good for catching errors that the author missed.
It's easier to make corrections on a story that has been posted. One can just change the story without having to resubmit the file like on Lit. They will take a bit of time to review what you did so, like on Lit, it's best to have a note describing what's different.
More categories.

Disadvantages:

A much smaller readership compared to Lit, by far.
They have a number of moderators, not just Laurel, but each one has different opinions and thus they can be quite picky. I've had stories rejected for what seems like trivial reasons. Usually it's not too hard to change whatever is bothering them, but not always.
Their general guidelines are stricter than Lit I think, like no depiction of the use of hard drugs.

 

[SimonDoom]

Without seeing specifically the words the site is objecting to, it's difficult to give you advice. In the two-example bit you gave in your opening thread, the first is clearly correct, and the second is clearly wrong. While some punctuation usage in dialogue is a judgment call, in this case number 2 clearly is erroneous.

I scanned some of your stories, and inconsistency in dialogue is a persistent issue, so you might want to read an article or two on it. I cited a link to a very helpful online article in a recent thread called How To Punctuate Dialogue.

For instance, I found these examples in your story, Erotic Dream:

Free from her breast, "I don't think my fingers are enough."

The first phrase is not a dialogue tag, so the comma is inappropriate. I'd change it to:
Freeing his teeth from her breast, he said, "I don't think my fingers are enough."

OR

He freed his teeth from her breast. "I don't think my fingers are enough." This version is appropriate because the first bit is narration, not a tag.

"Tense" he questioned, "it makes you tight?"

You skipped the comma after "Tense." It should be

"Tense," he questioned, "it makes you tight?"

OR

"Tense," he said. "It makes you tight?"

"I know you can think of something," she looked at his crotch, "you make good coffee, and broke the secret to this janky lock... you can figure it out."

The first comma is wrong here, because "she looked at his crotch" is narrative, not a dialogue tag. Plus, the second comma is wrong because the second part of the dialogue is a new sentence. The third comma is unneeded because it's a compound predicate rather than a new clause. The ellipsis is unneeded because the sentence is done, so it should be a period. So, it should be:

"I know you can think of something." She looked at his crotch. "You make good coffee and broke the secret to this janky lock. You can figure it out."

 

[MillieDynamite]

I finally got something to fly over at LushStories[they're stricter than here]; Goth Night Getdown, an old story I have here. The reviewing mod cleared it after I editted it(can't believe Laurel passed it) but they changed the sentence formatting for me, which I guess was an afterthought for them.

So I am curious. I can't remember what they said, and as I write this, the site is down for maintainance, so I can't check. Something about using a period instead of a comma between two unrelated or something sentences is improper. Basically:

"Blah, blah, blah," they said as they sat down.
versus
"Blah, blah, blah." They said as they sat down.

I write -if you've never read any of my stuff- the former. I like the way it looks and have done this for years. It looks cleaner to me. I don't keep up with comstantly updating rules of writing, and haven't read an actual book in a long time. We know some people stick to old or archaic structuring, bending and/or breaking the rules be damned. I think I've seen something recently like that too, I read a few fanfics the other day.

I'm asking if it actually matters in this day and age, that I should make a conscious effort to stop writing like that, or is it okay? Now that I think about it, that could just be that mods preference, because I never saw anything in their requirements about that specifically. It got me thinking about it, though. Maybe it's in my head, but it also seems like there might be pros and cons to each way. I've been actively writing about twelve-ish years and have done this. I haven't been to the ruins of a Circuit City to fetch a floppy drive to check my old high school writing portfolio, but I might have written like that back then, too. Is this an actual issue, especially if I wanna sell my stuff?

If no conversation tag is used, only action of the speaker, you use a period. If you have a conversation tag, you use a comma after "blah," he said. From there, it is dependant on what follows the said. Maybe a comma, maybe a period, maybe neither.

 

[Djmac1031]

"Blah, blah, blah," they said as they sat down.
versus
"Blah, blah, blah." They said as they sat down.

First is correct if you keep "they said."

Second is correct if you eliminate it:
"Blah, blah, blah." They sat down.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Lush is basically a LW/Incest site (though LW is broken down into cheating, cuck, etc). It has some other categories but they're hardly read. Very little Romance following, for example. They absolutely hate NC/R. As I predominantly write NC/R and Romance, that's me out. I see you write predominantly Incest so you'd probably do quite well there. You could also look into AO3.

Lush also allow micros (100 words), so putting a few of these out might up your exposure quite rapidly.

ETA: And that 10k word limit. Deal breaker for, like 99% of my stuff. Really don't get that at all.

Yeah, I'd say I probably have more incest and trans, than anything else, with fantasy being third. I'm on ao3, I write fan fiction there. I know you can put original stuff on there, but it's not main focus. I really try to save long stuff for the eventual market, for the most part.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Without seeing specifically the words the site is objecting to, it's difficult to give you advice. In the two-example bit you gave in your opening thread, the first is clearly correct, and the second is clearly wrong. While some punctuation usage in dialogue is a judgment call, in this case number 2 clearly is erroneous.

I scanned some of your stories, and inconsistency in dialogue is a persistent issue, so you might want to read an article or two on it. I cited a link to a very helpful online article in a recent thread called How To Punctuate Dialogue.

For instance, I found these examples in your story, Erotic Dream:



The first phrase is not a dialogue tag, so the comma is inappropriate. I'd change it to:
Freeing his teeth from her breast, he said, "I don't think my fingers are enough."

OR

He freed his teeth from her breast. "I don't think my fingers are enough." This version is appropriate because the first bit is narration, not a tag.




You skipped the comma after "Tense." It should be

"Tense," he questioned, "it makes you tight?"

OR

"Tense," he said. "It makes you tight?"




The first comma is wrong here, because "she looked at his crotch" is narrative, not a dialogue tag. Plus, the second comma is wrong because the second part of the dialogue is a new sentence. The third comma is unneeded because it's a compound predicate rather than a new clause. The ellipsis is unneeded because the sentence is done, so it should be a period. So, it should be:

"I know you can think of something." She looked at his crotch. "You make good coffee and broke the secret to this janky lock. You can figure it out."

The missing comma is an accident. But the rest I think you for. I know punctuation is still a bit of an issue with me.

 

[SimonDoom]

The missing comma is an accident. But the rest I think you for. I know punctuation is still a bit of an issue with me.

I definitely recommend that you look up my thread, and in the very first post you'll see the link I posted to that online article. It packs a lot of useful information into a relatively short article and it gives plenty of examples to explain. It's much easier to learn by looking at the rules in practice than hearing about them in the abstract.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

The site is still down. Weird. I admit that it seems I haven't been taking my own advice on paying attention to how things are written, not just reading what is. That convo with the mod made me reevaluate how I write. I'm gonna try and do better with that. Nobody has really said anything about my punctaution with this issue before and I've been writing since 09.

 

[lovecraft68]

The former is correct.

Of course it matters.

If Lush are promoting the latter, their editorial team should be put up against a wall and shot. But to be fair, your examples are related phrases of the same sentence. But this is a separate sentence, hence the full stop at the end of the previous sentence.

You might want to check, and quote other samples.

At least they invest in a team and actually enforce their rules consistently instead booting stories for no reason and allowing rape and underage stories galore.

Speaking of breaking rules, how' Susie these days?

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I definitely recommend that you look up my thread, and in the very first post you'll see the link I posted to that online article. It packs a lot of useful information into a relatively short article and it gives plenty of examples to explain. It's much easier to learn by looking at the rules in practice than hearing about them in the abstract.

I did and bookmarked it. Again... thank you.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

At least they invest in a team and actually enforce their rules consistently instead booting stories for no reason and allowing rape and underage stories galore.

Speaking of breaking rules, how' Susie these days?

Ironically... at least initially, the wait was as long as it is here. The benefit is that they will tell you the issue and even discuss it with you. Of course if I intend to repost any more things there, I know I have some editing to do- no complaints there, I should be seeking to do the shit right. Much like how ffn's rules taught me to avoid sexual scenes, or write them in a way to hide them, LushStories will help me better myself as a whole.

 

[MillieDynamite]

You could combine Trans and Incest and add a fetish two for a trifecta!

Yeah, I'd say I probably have more incest and trans, than anything else, with fantasy being third. I'm on ao3, I write fan fiction there. I know you can put original stuff on there, but it's not main focus. I really try to save long stuff for the eventual market, for the most part.

That's my advice, even if I missed what the advice is supposed to be about.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

So we are allowed to mention competing sites by name? Anyway, I have wondered about that period versus comma issue, especially in dialogue. Usually I decide based on these examples.

At one point you couldn't. At least asstr and the other ancient one were censored. The urls are probably still censored, though.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Oh, Lush wants you to use one of the style guides, I think Chicago.

I finally got something to fly over at LushStories[they're stricter than here]; Goth Night Getdown, an old story I have here. The reviewing mod cleared it after I editted it(can't believe Laurel passed it) but they changed the sentence formatting for me, which I guess was an afterthought for them.

So I am curious. I can't remember what they said, and as I write this, the site is down for maintainance, so I can't check. Something about using a period instead of a comma between two unrelated or something sentences is improper. Basically:

"Blah, blah, blah," they said as they sat down.
versus
"Blah, blah, blah." They said as they sat down.

I write -if you've never read any of my stuff- the former. I like the way it looks and have done this for years. It looks cleaner to me. I don't keep up with comstantly updating rules of writing, and haven't read an actual book in a long time. We know some people stick to old or archaic structuring, bending and/or breaking the rules be damned. I think I've seen something recently like that too, I read a few fanfics the other day.

I'm asking if it actually matters in this day and age, that I should make a conscious effort to stop writing like that, or is it okay? Now that I think about it, that could just be that mods preference, because I never saw anything in their requirements about that specifically. It got me thinking about it, though. Maybe it's in my head, but it also seems like there might be pros and cons to each way. I've been actively writing about twelve-ish years and have done this. I haven't been to the ruins of a Circuit City to fetch a floppy drive to check my old high school writing portfolio, but I might have written like that back then, too. Is this an actual issue, especially if I wanna sell my stuff?

If memory serves me well. No assurance that's right.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

You could combine Trans and Incest and add a fetish two for a trifecta!

That's my advice, even if I missed what the advice is supposed to be about.

I've actually been thinking about it. Maybe you missed it, maybe not, but I've gotten to a point where I need to figure out if when I write something, should I put it somewhere free, or save it? I'm leaning towards if it's over the chapters, save it, that's the good stuff, everything else is a taste. The exception is fan fiction, since I can't market that.