looking at saving for a house

[Down_UnderKid]

hey all ive been thinking alot about buying a house in the coming year(ish) with my current gf
we have been together for 6mths now, but i haven known her for along time and can see us lasting a whole much longer.

how do i go about bringing up the topic of saving to buy. she likes to spend money on random shit all the time, which i dont mind cause its not my money lol.


it may seem like a simple enough question but im struggling to find a way.

is it possibly too early to ask her into such a big commitment?

any help would be greatly appricated

cheers

 

[PertPerth]

I'm assuming that you'll be a first-home owner? The government has started a First home saver account scheme to help first home buyers kick start saving for a first home. These accounts will be available on 1 October 2008.

http://www.ato.gov.au/individuals/content.asp?doc=/Content/00155253.htm

If I were you, I'd talk budgets with your girlfriend. While you may not want to purchase the home together (or do you?) it is always nice to feel secure financially within the relationship so you don't end up fighting about money.

Good luck and happy house-hunting!

 

[SweetErika]

I don't know what the laws there are like, but here it's a really, really bad idea to buy a home with someone you're not married to.

A much better solution would be to buy a home you can afford on your own and have her split the mortgage and expenses (either equally, by her paying a fixed amount of rent, or by each of you contributing a certain percentage of your income to a joint account that goes to pay all of the household expenses) with you until you decide to break up or get married. This would also solve the problem of asking her to make a huge commitment too soon in the relationship.

I'd suggest just telling her of your desire to buy a home and save for that goal. Ask for her thoughts and how you might work it out together if she's interested. Don't go into her spending habits. You can certainly offer help/advice if she wants it, but this is something she needs to want to do on her own, and forcing her to tighten her belt when she doesn't want to will likely make her very resentful.

 

[Cathleen]

I'm with Erika on this, bad idea -- really bad idea. Even if you've been together a few years I'd still say bad idea unless you both had ironed out every 'what if' and had a contract - buying a house a financial decision first and foremost, IMHO. Six months isn't long, so just enjoy your relationship with her and save for a house on your own. Let her know but I'd still work for the goal on your own.

 

[kindashy]

I could be very wrong, but I kinda noticed that maybe the house is not your real concern. I have this small impression from your post that maybe your girlfriend's random spending is what really on your mind... The impression I get is that you might be trying to use the idea of buying the house as a way to decrease her random and unplanned spending.

 

[Monazwx]

BUying a house with someone you've only known six months is a DISASTER just waiting to happen!!! How long is "much longer"? I feel that you have the urge to settle down, financially esp., but where is she at emotionally? You must plan to budget for that fact that you will have to go this alone. If you don't have enough money to make the down payment by yourself, work out a strategy, which doesn't include your spendthrift girlfriend. PertPerth's budget plan is excellent, along with SweetEricka's about splitting the mortgage. Maybe by her seeing your hard work, she will be inspired and what to work towards the goal with you. Good luck!

 

[Down_UnderKid]

thanks for the replys guys and girls


thanks for the link perth, ill check it out.

i dont have a problem with my gf's random spending, it would be good if she saved but im not entirley sure its on her mind atm.

i think my problem is that my closest mates all have either houses or land to there names (we are all 21 or 22) and im still at home. so it maybe a bit of jealously of mybehalf or wanting to go out and do it, because my gf and i cant spend much time together.

once again thanks for the help, if anyone else has anymore help it would be good too!

 

[bitslinger]

im still at home. so it maybe a bit of jealously of mybehalf or wanting to go out and do it, because my gf and i cant spend much time together.

There are a lot of good reasons to buy a house. This is not one of them. A house is an investment with a lot of potential downside. When you buy a house with someone, you are essentially making them your business partner. Would you start a business with someone who couldn't manage their money? Are you willing to take a loss on the house if you break up while the market is down and she wants her equity immediately? Can you make the payments on your own if you break up?

You are probably better off buying the house with just your money, if you can afford it and it makes sense given your goals. Otherwise, you are probably better off putting away as much money as you can while you live with your parents.

Good luck

 

[Monazwx]

i think my problem is that my closest mates all have either houses or land to there names (we are all 21 or 22) and im still at home. so it maybe a bit of jealously of mybehalf or wanting to go out and do it, because my gf and i cant spend much time together.

NEVER GO INTO DEBT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KEEP UP WITH THE JONES'!!!

As good as mortgage debt is, buying a house is a serious commitment, and you don't know what kind of situation your other friends are in. Maybe they already have families, i.e. spouse and kids, or are in serious relationships; maybe mommy and daddy helped provide the financing or bought the house outright for them. If you want to spend more time with your girl, move out and get an apartment. You can save on the side for a house, but like I said, a house is a serious commitment.

(Sidenote - I just found the perfect place, but I don't qualify salarywise, so I'm busting my butt now to make it happen, all by myself. You can too if you really want it.)

 

[Eritz]

There are a lot of good reasons to buy a house. This is not one of them. A house is an investment with a lot of potential downside.

This is why I'm sitting on my heels slowly accumulating a nice bundle of cash every month. I'm just waiting for the bottom to drop out of the property market before abusing my financial strength.

 

[cubbies]

It is not a bad idea. It is nothing more than a partnership in property. Marriage is a partnership whether you like it or not. My current wife and I bought a house before we got married. We may be an exception to the rule, but even if we didn't work out romantically, we still would have had to deal with the house at a business level. Thankfully, it is still working.

Now, how do you get her to save? You don't. My wife is a spendaholic. I save, she spends. I am somewhat fiscally responsible, she is irresponsible. It works because we balance each other out. You are going to have to take charge for the both of you. Where she spends, you sacrifice. Cut back on the beers, cigs, etc...any wants vs. needs.