Long Distance Open Relationships

[the Royal wench]

Does anyone have any experience with these?


I love mine. He's my best friend and my lover.

Some people say distance is too hard to overcome. I do yearn for his touch, his smell, his flesh, to look close in his eyes, and those times of companionship when words aren't necessary. But I just look forward to those times we do spend together.

Some people will also say open relationships don't work. We can't be there with each other at all times so it just seems too much to expect that if the right opportunity came up to enjoy the company of another we wouldn't do it. I like that he can feel free to let me know about it. It's about sharing as friends, and trusting. I don't get jealous of the sex the way I used to. He's shown me too many times how he cares for me, and he's always there when I need to talk to him. Sometimes it even turns me on when he shares some experiences with me.

My only fear is that he'll be ready for a 24/7 situation before I am, and another will rock his world in such a way he feels he needs to say goodbye to me. This I think I just have to accept and live in the moment instead of dwell on. It seems to be the only problem I have with this relationship.

Well, besides not being able to be tied, teased, love-fucked, nipple-pinched and pleadingly pleased a bit more frequently but boy, it sure is good when we do get together.


I'd love to hear how others have dealt with distance and openness. What have the problems been? How have you dealt with them?

 

[Bandit58]

Master and I met here on Lit, at the time He lived in Australia and I was in New Zealand. He knew I had a couple of casual male playmates at the time. He wasn't seeing anyone but had the very occasional playtime with subs He met on personals sites. Even when our relationship changed from being friends to falling in love, at no time did He say I couldn't see these people, and it didn't worry me that He had these casual meetings. We told each other about the times we had fun with others, and because I was not that sexually experienced He was giving me sex advice

After we met in r/l though, I had no desire to see these other people at all, and broke the relationships off (both men understood completely and there were no hard feelings). Master told me He'd had a couple of offers for sex from other ladies during the time He was waiting for me, but turned those down too, both of us just had the need to be with each other no one else. Since we've been together (4 months now) we've been with no one but each other even though we have been actively seeking a female playmate for me.

Before we met though He told me of the playtime He had with another sub. The only feelings I had were ones wishing it was me instead of her he had played with I did enjoy the sex with those other men, but I had no emotional attachment to them other than as friends and just the need to be held in someone's arms and have a real body there not just a toy. These occasions were only about once every 2-3 weeks......most of the time I was on my own.

Master and I did play on the phone but He prefers real time so it didn't happen often, 2 or 3 times that I recall. We did have definite dates though that we knew we'd be getting together so our time apart did have a time limit on it, which is different from not knowing when or even if you will get together.

I was married for over 20 years to a possessive controlling man and I have vowed never to be like that myself, and have been lucky enough to have found someone who allows me to be myself and loves me unconditionally. Honesty, openness and trust is the backbone of our relationship.

 

[NCShin]

I'm in a LD relationship and it is very trying at times.

We met in RL while I was overseas in Japan. We dated then lived together for a short time.

I left Japan and we continued talking on the net and she came to visit once in a while. It was open, though we never really discussed what we were doing with others.

Now I wouldn't consider it open. If I was to find out she was with someone else I'd be angry and hurt. It would be the last conversation we had, all contact would cease. Granted my finding out, short of her telling me would be impossible.

 

[PunkFan]

Dwelling on it is the worst thing you can do to a long distance relationship, people dont understand how anxious you get with all the unkown the relationship brings for the future. The only advice I can give is to enjoy the time you spend together. The thing I have found about this type of relationship as it forces growth on the person, you will really find out what is important to you. I am a better person because of a long distance relationship.

Jealousy is a tough issue in this because like it or not when another person can have sex with your partner and you yearn to be with them and cannot it is incredibly frustrating. You'll find that the harder things get the more open you will become, you will probably learn more about this person than a great deal of married couples know.

The thing with these relationships are they are probably the most challanging you will encounter but also if you are lucky can reap the most rewards. The future is what you make it so wherever you want to take this relationship you can do it, sure it'll take more work than just meeing somone down your local pub but it will be more rewarding. You don't get many shots at finding someone who can make us happy and I have found it is worth pushing the relationship and yourself as far as you can.

www.selfgrowth.com is a resource for self improvement and has a good relationships section that was helpful to me in moments of confusion.


Good luck and make the best of it.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Does anyone have any experience with these?

Some people say distance is too hard to overcome.

Some people will also say open relationships don't work.

The people saying these things are generally the people who fell flat on their faces. LDRs are hard work. They suck on several levels. If you had your druthers you wouldn't be doing them, you'd be where your other half was, not spending time 600 miles away or whatever the distance is. But you're not LOL. So. You make the best of it. I have posted several times on my LDR. I believe that we were a success because we both were committed 100% to it.

The same goes for open relationships. We committed from the very beginning to an open relationship model for our relationship, not as a stopgap measure for our LDR, but as a relationship model in general, because it was something we both felt strongly about; however, whether you are doing the open relationship thing as a stopgap measure to make the time apart from each other bearable, or as a relationship model you need to make sure that you fully discuss how you are going to deal with it.

Lots of communication, and I do mean LOTS, will save you a lot of heartache, aggravation, and misunderstanding later on. Plan on how you are going to deal with each other's other partners. Do you want to know about the other partners? Do you want contact with them before play?

What kind of protection is your partner planning on using? Has he dicussed it with the potential partner, and are they protected, what kind of birth control are they using? Are there any plans for threesomes? Make sure you discuss every possible permutation that you can think about BEFORE any play happens, not after. After is wayyyy too late (obviously).

If you plan on continuing your open relationship after you become 24/7, then you need to think about how you will feel with your partner online talking to other partners while you are spending time "at home"...will this bother you? Open relationships can be very fulfilling, and can provide a real spark and interest in a relationship, but they require an immense amount of care and feeding, communication and committment

~anelize

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Long-distance relationships are challanging for me, and the only way I can get through the day sometimes is by thinking about things Master has said to me through emails or via telephone in the past. I have to admit that right now I am feeling a bit insecure because I haven't spoken to him in a week. I just keep telling myself that he is busy with work and school and when he gets a chance, he will contact me.

I have issues with trust. I'm not worried that he will cheat, although I would understand if he did, I am just scared to death that he will end the relationship before we even get the chance to meet face to face. I know I should discuss this with him, but I realized that every time I send him an email, I conplain more then anything else. I don't want to be a burden to him, so my only choice is to wait and see what happens.