Location, location, location

[Safphyre]

How did ya'll find other BSDM peeps in your area? I am new (yes still ) to all of this and I am really interested in finding someone in my area to explore this with me but I am very apprehensive about submitting to someone I don't know ... of course, I have to find him before I can be apprehensive

 

[shy slave]

How did ya'll find other BSDM peeps in your area? I am new (yes still ) to all of this and I am really interested in finding someone in my area to explore this with me but I am very apprehensive about submitting to someone I don't know ... of course, I have to find him before I can be apprehensive

I UK we have munches to meet like minded people although locally it seems many are already in relationships. I used on-line BDSM finders, there are also the personal ads on Lit. When your ready to talk to someone I am sure Lara will give you lots of library links about How to meet and safety etc. Good luck and enjoy

 

[heckle]

I am really interested in finding someone in my area to explore this with me but I am very apprehensive about submitting to someone I don't know

Here is one site that list some Munches.
http://gloria-brame.com/kinkylinks/onlinebylocation.html

A Munch is where people get together in a "not threatening" environment to socialize with others with similar interest, and also to meet and greet new comers. If you let us know a general state or country your in, I am sure that someone here can help you find a Munch or local group.

And do yourself a favor, don't submit to just anyone. Read some of the other threads abotu trust and respect.

 

[s'lara]

Welcome to the board S.

i don't know where you reside, but i've gathered a few links that might help you in your initial explorations:

Checklists

Meeting People In BDSM

What to do at a munch

Exploration

Limits

Links

Safewords and Safecalls

http://www.uncommon-ground.org/guide.htm

http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/safety101.shtml

http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/safecall.shtml



Good luck to you and be safe.

lara

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Re: location, location, location

Good responses, all. Serious answers to a serious question, and one that can sometimes plague all of us, not just the "newbies."

For example, I recently moved from the Tampa Bay area, which has a number of relatively open groups ("open," as in not hiding in the closet ), to the eastern area of Tennessee, which is buried in all the superstition and hypocrisy of the Bible Belt. Even before I got here, I began researching, and initially found only a few groups within 150 miles - primarily in Atlanta, Knoxville and Nashville, all 80-150 miles away.

Being on limited budget, I kind of gave up seeking a group, and tried to focus on work. After a year and a half, I did some further research, partly through Lit and partly through contacts made on an "alternative lifestyle" matching group online, and did find a local group, and one in Knoxville that seemed to meet at least a large part of my wants and needs. I'm now getting back "into the community," and I'm as happy now as I was when I first saw the "Welcome to Florida" sign in my rearview mirror.

s'lara, thank you for the wonderful list of links you posted! Even after more than 30 years in WIITWD, several of those links were new to me, and some were long-time favorites.

I might also suggest a couple of additional links:

http://www.altsex.org/bdsm/

http://www.bdsm-education.com/index.html

http://www.fetishalliance.net/

Each of these is a long-standing and well-known site with loads of helpful information, lots of links to other sites, and emotional support for those who may occasionally find themselves concerned at their minority status.

The best of luck to you, Safphyre, in your search... and as heckle said, if you give us a general idea of your country and region, someone can surely give you some reference(s) to contact.

 

[Safphyre]

Thank you very much for the replies and the links ..I have been a memeber here at Lit for a while, I have read and re read many of the threads and info posted here. I live in the Boston, Ma area. I think part of my problem is the apprehension

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Stay the fuck out of Alabama, Georgia and Texas

Court OKs Alabama’s Ban on Sale of Sex Toys

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — A federal appeals court has upheld a 1998 Alabama law banning the sale of sex toys in the state.

In Wednesday’s decision, the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said Alabama can police the sale of adult novelties that include "any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.”

With the ruling, Alabama would join Georgia and Texas with adult toy bans. Most sex toys are illegal to sell in those states, but most shops can survive prosecution if they can prove the products are for novelty use only.

The court said that Alabama’s sex-toy laws do not affect the use of condoms and Viagra or similar drugs, nor does it apply to sex toys prescribed by a physician.

In its decision, 2-1, the court said that the issue was “whether the majority may use the power of the state to enforce these views on the whole society through operation of the criminal law.”

Attorney Lawrence G. Walters, who represents adult-industry companies, said that Wednesday's ruling is flawed.

“The 11th Circuit seems to be out of sync with the U.S. Supreme Court, since the high court clearly recognizes that the right of privacy extends to personal sexual autonomy, while the 11th Circuit appears to be giving that argument short shrift," Walters said.

"This is an unfortunate decision since it sets bad precedent for all retail locations selling sex toys, and will be relied upon by the government as a basis to criminalize or restrict this activity," he said.

Sherri Williams, an adult novelty retailer who filed the lawsuit with seven other women and two men, told The Associated Press that the decision "depressing."

Williams, who owns Pleasures stores in Huntsville and Decatur, said she plans to appeal the case to the U.S. Supreme Court.

"I'm just very disappointed that courts feel Alabamians don't have the right to purchase adult toys. It's just ludicrous," she said. "I intend to pursue this."

Alabama’s law makes the sale of sex toys a crime punishable by up to a year in prison.

After Alabama’s law went into effect in 1998, a group of plaintiffs sued then-Alabama Attorney General William H. Pryor Jr., who is now an 11th Circuit judge. They claimed the new law violated a host of civil rights, including ones guaranteeing free expression, due process and safety from unreasonable government searches of homes.

The six plaintiffs who used sex devices received the advice of therapists as a means to combat depression and improve their marriages. One woman used a device because she suffers from a chronic disability that makes intercourse painful.

Two sellers of the sex devices — Williams and another who conducts Tupperware-style parties to sell the products — also were plaintiffs.

A federal trial judge in 1999 found the law unconstitutional, but an 11th Circuit panel vacated the ruling, seeking a broader examination of how sexual laws had been enforced over time.

After concluding that sexual privacy was "deeply rooted" in American legal tradition and practice, the trial judge again found the law unconstitutional.

The case is Sherri Williams et al vs. Bill Pryor, Attorney General of Alabama, No. 02-16135.

i'm kinda curious if "then-Alabama Attorney General William H. Pryor Jr., who is now an 11th Circuit judge" sat on the 11th Circuit Court's ruling panel for this case, but don't want to waste the time looking the douche bag up under Google.

 

[heckle]

[B I live in the Boston, Ma area. I think part of my problem is the apprehension [/B]

They just had the Fetish Flea last weekend in Boston. If you cannot find a Munch up in Boston or Mass to attend, come on down to Connecticut.

 

[Safphyre]

Story of my life ...a day late and a dollar short