Living Together (lifestyle in daily life)

[Zaudika]

First off -- hi everyone!!! ... I don't spend much time here anymore and had to drop a hello before posting my thoughts/questions.

So .. Ezarc and I are moving in together as of November 1st. We've been looking for a house to purchase the last 8 weeks and found one that we love. All should go well with closing and then we'll be moving.

For those who don't know us -- Ezarc and I met on Literotica two and a half years ago. I moved from Seattle to Boston to begin our lives together - however, like every relationship we have had our ups and downs and we have never lived together. (until now )

So .. my question(s).

We have had a BDSM, Dom/sub relationship since the beginning. It is not just an occasional 'scene' for us. While not being visible a great deal of the time, it is a feeling that is always there and can be brought to the surface with a word, look, or motion. ---- He lives with family, I live with roommates, obviously we rarely get time to actually physically show the Dominance and submission side of things.

Soooo .. in moving in together I want to ease into more common interaction while still leaving our lives comfortable. Sometimes I have a difficult time explaining things in words, but essentially I don't want to move in and have the entire dynamic of our relationship to change - but I would like to have more things as well.

We have spoken about this and figure that in a lot of ways we'll feel it out as we go and do things as they feel right.

I think overall I'm asking about things small or big, that some submissives do on a daily basis to show and feel their submission. And small things that Dom's do to show their Dominance and make their sub feel the joy that she does in being submissive, etc.

Any thoughts/comments are welcome.

*hugs and love to all our friends*

 

[graceanne]

I think overall I'm asking about things small or big, that some submissives do on a daily basis to show and feel their submission. And small things that Dom's do to show their Dominance and make their sub feel the joy that she does in being submissive, etc.

I don't know about things that Dom/me do daily, but I know that when I'm well (and I'm not occupied with the kids) I do things like serve K's food at dinner, rub his back at night, clip his toe nails for him, scrub his back for him when he's in the shower (even if I'm not), etc. I'm sure you'll find things that work for you two. Good luck.

 

[snowy ciara]

I hang a lot with a 27/7 couple. Some stuff I've noticed they do...

She opens doors for him. They divide the cooking fairly evenly, but he serves himself first (unless he tells her to do it) and she doesn't take a bite or drink before he does. I've noticed she offers him the first shower in the morning even though he prefers to shower at night. When she's contemplating a change to the hairstyle or colour, she asks him if it's okay and for his input. It's all small stuff, and some of it masquerades as a "traditional" relationship, but it's different.

 

[graceanne]

I hang a lot with a 27/7 couple. Some stuff I've noticed they do...

She opens doors for him. They divide the cooking fairly evenly, but he serves himself first (unless he tells her to do it) and she doesn't take a bite or drink before he does. I've noticed she offers him the first shower in the morning even though he prefers to shower at night. When she's contemplating a change to the hairstyle or colour, she asks him if it's okay and for his input. It's all small stuff, and some of it masquerades as a "traditional" relationship, but it's different.

Actually, I ask him about just about everything. I mean, not the daily nit picky things, but if I wanna go out with friends I ask. If I wanna get my hair cut or buy some makeup I ask. If I wanna do anything out of the ordinary I ask.

 

[Rrrosyn]

The basics pretty much work the same whether M/f or F/m or any other variable.

We don't have much kink in the house outside the bedroom because we have a roommate. But here goes, I know I am forgetting stuff.

Subbie washes my back and legs. He dries me off. Assists me with all showers actually. He showers second and sometimes I bathe his genitals for him. He usually uses my body-towel (as opposed to my hair-towel) to dry himself off. He does other personal grooming for me. He is in charge of keeping me shaved (when I want to be) and painting my toenails. I get very regular foot rubs. He makes and serves brunch, though I usually get the drinks because I get bored just waiting. He works and goes to college, so when he comes home he drops down (unless he is too sore) to his knees and we kiss. He asks about my day first. It is usually dull, so I ask about his day. He does most chores. He readies the bed each night, turning down covers and tape-rolling cat hair off the pillows. I have Fibromyalgia and wrinkles in the sheets hurt me, so he kneels at the bedside and holds the sheet perfectly smooth while I climb in. Frustrating for him since I make 5 trips to the bathroom to pee before I even lie down.

On days he is home he makes sure my glass is never empty. At the same time, I do offer to get him something if I am getting up anyway. It's just polite. I also do not interrupt his homework time for anything unless there is no way around it.

I show my appreciation for his service and submission by holding him. Often this means sitting on the uncomfy sofa rather than my nice comfy chair. He notices the sacrifice. I brush his hair and put it up before work. He gets a deep tissue shoulder massage if I pick up that he had a very hard day. (Like 8 hours college with a 40lb pack while I take the car, followed by 6-8 hours at work.) He also gets belly rubs and head scratches as well and compliments and thanks. I am very big on please and thank you, even if it is an order not a request.

 

[Bandit58]

Little things......I get His medications, I set up the dialysis machine, I serve Him first with meals and cups of tea. I ask what He would like for dinner each night, He leaves it up to me I dry his lower legs and feet (which are extremely sensitive for a diabetic, which can lead to a lot of twitching on His part!). I help Him dress, because He has rotator cuff syndrome in both shoulders and it's hard to move sometimes. I'm sure there are more, but it just seems so natural to do it that I forget what they are!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Congratulations to you both...this is fantastic news!!! Having met you both and seen how much you care for each other, I am sure you are going to find living together a beautiful thing which will be able to get you both through the good and bad moments in life. I think you will find your own way through this and what little signature modes work best for you, though it may be some get tried and thrown away, while others just seem to develop naturally and without obvious thought. Communication is always good.....but I know you already know that one. I guess our most constant thing is I get up in the morning and prepare his clothes, make his coffee and sit with him while he drinks it and prepares for his day, prepare his lunch if needed....not terribly overt D/s, but then I am told in today's world it doesn't happen much in the vanilla world. The other is I try and balance his desire I express my opinion with the reality he may not always go with it and he has the right to make the final decision on all things. Good luck to both you and Ezarc, though I don't think you will need it.

Catalina

 

[His_pita]

I don't know you but I do want to say congrats and good luck.

I love to hear stories about couples that are living together and doing D/s. I have 182 days left till my new life with my wonderful Sir starts.

 

[Quint]

I hang a lot with a 27/7 couple. Some stuff I've noticed they do...

She opens doors for him. They divide the cooking fairly evenly, but he serves himself first (unless he tells her to do it) and she doesn't take a bite or drink before he does. I've noticed she offers him the first shower in the morning even though he prefers to shower at night. When she's contemplating a change to the hairstyle or colour, she asks him if it's okay and for his input. It's all small stuff, and some of it masquerades as a "traditional" relationship, but it's different.

This is almost exactly what I was going to type for my own relationship. The only thing I add to that is that I ask permission to pee, as well, unless we're in a large group setting where this wouldn't be practical.

Congratulations! You guys have come a long way...I'm sure that you will find routines and rules that will complement your lifestyle and meet both your desires.