Little Black Book (Closed for BehaviorMod)

[Faux_Pas]

"And the Devil-uh! Will take his lust upon the hearts! Of those with unpure minds! Those with sin, corruption, the most heinous of deviations upon their thoughts! A pure mind, a pure heart- These are the tools of a righteous man! These are the signs of one connected with the man above! A true follower of the faith... Does not let his heart, his head, his SOUL be tainted by the attempts of the Devil to sway him!"

Mary watched from the pews as her father pounded his fist against the podium with every announcement of the Devil's name and his dark ways, studying the lines of his face behind the thick glasses. Age was showing through Daddy's eyes anymore. His concern for his flock, he told her nightly at dinner... "Caring for so many children can bring worry lines to the bravest of souls, sweetheart."

His exhibitions for the congregation were certainly not the same as the man she knew outside of the church. Religious, to be certain. But not pounding on every surface with every other word he uttered. Mary was expected to meet the ideal of a preacher's daughter, both at home and out. Soft spoken, religious as her father, pure and sweet.

"....The thoughts of the innocent are the hopes for us all, the future of our children!" He took that moment to glance over at her, a father's proud smile upon his face. "Look into the eyes of our youth. Do you truly see what lies within them?"

Her smile faded ever so slightly, an embarrassed look coming through instead. She hated it when he included her in his sermons. She was almost 19. For him to keep referring to her as a child was almost... humiliating.

Tucked next to her in the seat was her book, the book that never seemed to leave her side. The cover was a thick black fabric, wrapped tightly about the entire tome. A little red pen was tucked into that fabric covering, nearly out of ink. She had more. Not a concern there. The concern for her, however, came from anyone getting a hold of that book. It's private, she would tell others who asked. Every girl needs a journal, doesn't she? This one is mine.

She was afraid of what people would think, if they ever spotted what was inside.
Little Mary Morrigan was not supposed to have a book like that.
Little Mary Morrigan was not supposed to think like that.

That's why she had to keep it close. She tried so hard to never let it out of her sight, not even left alone at home. She had to get the thoughts out somehow. To let them linger in her head like that, made it all so much worse. They had to be put down on paper, collected. She had to try and understand all these thoughts. Why she even could think this way... It simply wasn't right. It was shameful, horribly so.

Daddy, oh. Daddy would... He would go absolutely mad if he ever found out.
He simply thought she was collecting verses, writing poetry. He even praised her for her devout ways with that book, teasing on how he wished he could see her as devoted to a certain other book.

Mass ended.
Mary took her usual spot beside her father outside the church doors, smiling to the congregation as they filtered out from Saturday Evening mass. Her book clutched tightly before her, a smirk and nod given to those who spoke to her, the little white cotton and lace dress swaying with the motions. As the last of the group filtered out, her father started to remove his robe, heading for his office. "And what are your plans tonight, Mary?," He called as he hung the white fabric of his own on the back of his door, peeking out at her.

"I was thinking of renting a movie. Maybe stopping to get some popcorn? What do you think, Daddy? Willing to watch a good comedy with me?" She smiled with that, peeking back at the man reorganizing his desk.

He chuckled, shaking his head. "No, no. That's quite alright. Some of these... new ideas of humor anymore... Not exactly my ideas of funny. rent what you wish, and come straight home."

"Of course, Daddy. I'll be home by 8." She smiled, stepping in quickly to give him a hug before leaving the church. The book was shoved into her bag, an oversized shoulder sack covered in roses. It wasn't too far a walk to get to the video machine, their town a tiny thing to begin with. The whole congregation was a giant portion of the town's population. A good thing, and a bad thing at the same time. Everyone seemed to know everyone else.

She missed the actual movie store. These RedNets and BoxFlix things seemed to be getting rid o all the actual stores anymore. Instead, she had an automated screen offering her the latest releases, and had to go inside the convenience store it was plunked in front of to get the popcorn. Setting her bag on the counter, she started to search for her money, taking out the video and her books to get her wallet. Simply taking the books back under her arm this time, the popcorn box plunked into the bag instead, she started the walk back home.

A short trip. One neighbor's house, however, caused her to pause. She always seemed to find herself lingering here. Simply staring at that door, at those lights. The man inside... Was...

She had to stop. She drew a breath, shaking her head. That was the problem. That right there. Wandering thoughts. The Devil's playground.

The porch light came on. She panicked with that, hastily turning away to rush back to her father's house...
A passing car kept the sound from even hitting her ears. Fabric against pavement.

 

[BehaviorMod]

Jason hurried down the stairs of his home, fastening his tie, and felt a certain emptiness as the ritual he had done for nearly 6 years was interrupted by a realization. Where his wife would have been standing to greet him with a kiss on his cheek before he headed to the store he managed was, instead, the wooden bannister at the bottom. The tile empty of anyone eagerly waiting his descent.

It gave him paused; it always gave him pause. Misses Winchester had been dead for almost two years now; but habbits die hard. Jason, a man of only 30 years old, had done his grieving and moving on. He'd even had a few women he fancied the company and touch of now and again, but nothing ever helped that expectation of seeing her face at the bottom of those steps.

The brief moment over, Jason continued his descent and opened the door to see her hurrying inside. His neighbor's girl, the preachers daughter; Mary Morrigan. 'Little Mary' as most of the town called her....even he once upon a time. Her name was obviously a nod to the biblical Mary, so her nickname was evident. The town thought her a perfect little Mary; and for all intents and purpose she was. Jason couldn't say the same for many of the other girls in town as he could for Mary.

Mary always dressed conservatively, spoke softly and only when spoken too unless she was being courteous or had no choice, and eye contact was very rare. She was the dutiful little girl that stayed out of trouble that every father wished they had. Well, Mary Morrigan wasn't exactly little anymore. The town had recently began buzzing about Mary's 19th birthday; which would be in another few days if he'd counted correctly.

Before Jane Winchester had died; Mary would always come over at her fathers' request to their house to purchase cloth and fabrics that Jane dyed and decorated. Jason would always invite her to stay for dinner but she never accepted unless her father bid her permission. Since Jane's passing, however; Jason saw very little of Mary except occasionally at the store when he was there.

He walked down the sidewalk towards his car and glanced over at the Morrigan house. He knew which room was hers, and looking up to it's window caught Mary looking down at him. As soon as he made eye contact, she vanished from the window. For as long as Jason could remember; she had always acted oddly around him when his wife wasn't around or he was otherwise alone. He'd never been able to ask her why. A shake of his head drew his focus back to work, and he got into his car and drove off.

To say it took no time at all for him to get from his home to his work, isn't an overstatement. To drive from one end of the town to another took maybe 45 minutes. If Jason really wanted to, and on a few occasions he'd had no choice, he could have jogged to work in 30 minutes. Parking is what took up the other 15 minutes he allowed himself to get to work each day. Being the only convenience store in the town that offered a full selection of grociery and household items, on top of the movie vendor box, it was the place everyone came to shop.

As Jason fixed his Store Manager's tag to his shirt and walked inside, he wasn't expecting what would soon fall into his hands. He greeted his evening shift on his way to the office and sat down in his chair, flicking through the camera system a few times to make sure all was well and everyone was working. He swiveled to a side desk where he kept his paper work to see a thick, black fabric wrapped book sitting on top of the pile with a sticky-note attached.

"Customer left this behind. Unidentified."

Jason Winchester hadn't been to curch, nor to any of Father Morrigan's sermons since his wife had died. He decided then and there that if there was a being that watched over them; it either had a cruel hand, or a careless one. Jason's faith had been shattered. One look at the book, however, and he immediately knew who it belonged to. Many a time during the years he had still attended with his wife, did he see that book tucked under the arm of Mary Morrigan. He'd try and speak to her about it privately when he saw her next. Calling their home would seem, odd...with all that'd happened.

Looking at the book, however, and recalling how closely guarded she kept the book, provoked him to glance at it. He had other business to attend to, however. The book would have to wait.

 

[Faux_Pas]

"Did you find what you were looking for?," her father called from the dining room at the backside of the house, smiling at her as she paused at the foot of the stairs. A quick flash of the red movie case and a nod before Mary ran up the steps, happily going to her room armed with the movie. Dropping her bag onto the bed, she cracked open the little box and popped the DVD into her player, contemplating the popcorn inside her bag for a moment.

Buy another thought came in as the MGM lion roared.
Jason. Mister Winchester.
He was such a nice man, he really was. Mary encountered him so often at the store, but not so much at the church anymore. Not since...
She understood. She really did. Her father took the death of her mother as reason to become deeper part of religion... While mister Winchester choose the opposite when it came to his wife. She had been such a nice lady. Mary remembered her so well. She liked to smile, to laugh, and made mister Winchester smile so much in turn.

It was what made her feel so incredibly bad about the things her mind did.
She took a breath, glancing back to the screen as the film's title crept in. Her interest in watching it was already starting to wain, but having rented it, she may as well watch it. If anything, maybe it could help calm those thoughts that kept trying to creep back in.

She was trying. So hard.
Her book. She needed her book. Get the thoughts out, make them get out of her head. She reached for her bag, tugging it up onto the bed with her and watching the screen as she lazily ran her fingers into the pouch. As her hand found nothing, her brow furrowed, confused by this. It was always right here. Right with her wallet and her pencil pouch, and...

She had taken it out at the store.
Her eyes widened. Her stomach felt ill. If anyone found that, looked through it....
She took a breath, shaking her head. No, it had to be here, it had to be. She dumped the bag onto the bed, frantically pawing through the mess to see if she was missing it completely.

No sign.
She clapped a hand over her mouth, trying not to panic again. If dad heard her...

Those words. Those sketches.
Such things she had to get out... All those thoughts and wandering dreams, all those things she didn't understand... If anyone found those... They wouldn't understand. They would think she was some type of... Horrendous pervert!

She had to find it. Now.
She hesitantly slipped off the bed, pausing as her door opened slightly, dad smiling in at her. "Hi sweetie. I'm locking down for the night. You okay in here? You look a little pale."

"I'm... I'm fine, dad." She forced a smile, though felt even worse then before. "Really."

"Great. Good night, dear. Sleep well. Enjoy your movie."

She dropped back onto the bed, sighing heavily. Maybe she could be lucky. Maybe no one would actually open it. Maybe they would just throw it away.
"Oh God...," she wailed, resting her head into her hands and sobbing.

All of her terrible dirty fantasies about her neighbor... About mister Winchester... Left out for someone to find...

 

[BehaviorMod]

<Locking up for the night, folks. Punch out and get ready to leave, everyone did great tonight.> Jason's voice echoed over the store that was emptied except for his employees. Midnight had come, and it was time to send them all home while he did the last bits of paperwork and locked the store down.

It took perhaps another 20 minutes for everyone to gather at the front and then walk out towards their cars or rides home for the night. Jason slid the doors closed and locked them; returning to his office. Midnight had come and gone and, once upon a time, he'd be in a rush to get back home to his wife. That time was in the past now; and all Jason really had left was his work.

Another half hour passed , it was nearly 1 am now, before Jason finished up the computer work and closed it all down. Then he turned and saw the black book, the post it note from the cashier still on top. He struggled for a moment with his concious. Once, he had known to respect peoples privacy, their property, when he was a god fearing Man. His curiosity got the best of him, however.
"What could possibly be in here, anyway? The scribblings of a preacher girl can't be more than verses and hopes and dreams."
Jason reached forward and took the note from the top, throwing it in the garbage can beside his desk and flipped open the book. He smiled and shook his head as he read a few familiar verses from the Bible. The book was filled with what one would expect from a proper girl like little Mary; until Jason turned to page 11.

Mister Winchester about lost his grip on the book when he saw a pencil drawing on the page of a girl; quite naked and baring a striking resemblance to Mary herself, tied up to what appeared to be a sideways cross, like a big X. The picture was titled 'The other me'. He quickly turned the page and behind that one was an entire page filled with fantasies. A list. Jason read them one by one till he'd gone through each of them; his cock growing harder and harder as he did so. Did this really belong to Mary Morrigan?

His eyes flicked to the adjacent page and his breath caught. 'Mister Winchester' was the title of the next entry. He felt his cock thicken even more as he read through the words. Each one a little bolder than the last, a little filthier, dirtier, sexual than the last. Jason felt like the cum was going to burst from his cock if he so much as touched it by the time he reached the last written page and closed the book. It was quite apparent that while Little Mary Morrigan was the preachers daughter; inside she was something else entirely, and her depraved thoughts were filled with him.

Now he had a choice to make. He could return the book and pretend nothing had happened and go about his life like normal. Or he could use it against her in ways she'd never even thought of; even in a book like this. It was true that, since his wife's death; he had been with other women. He was a man after all, he had needs; but none of them were able to give him what he wanted. He had found that, after her passing, the sex he wanted was harder....rougher.....aggressive. Until he had read through this book; he didn't know a girl...a woman, who would give in to those kinds of things ever existed. Now he had one, quite literally, in the palm of his hand. The sweet temptation was too hard to resist....

 

[Faux_Pas]

She had a terrible time sleeping. The whole need to find her book settled on her mind entirely through the night, paranoid that out there in the small town, someone had found it. Someone was looking through it. Someone was shocked to see what she was writing, thinking-Someone was going to being it back to her father. That was the scariest thought to it all.

At some point, however, Mary had managed to fall asleep. It had to have been late, far later than she usually went to bed- When she woke again, the buzz of her alarm blurting alongside her bed, it felt as though she had slept barely an hour. Lazily pulling out of the bed and groaning, she stretched and turned it off, sighing as she looked down to pink toenails dangling off the edge of her bed.

She had to go out and find it. This morning. The sooner the better. Even if someone had found it, peeked... She could possibly explain that somehow. But if it made it home, presented to dad- That would be even harder. Impossible, really.

A shower, quick make up, readying for the day. The more presentable she became, the worse she felt. Backtrack the previous day. Where could it have left her? The only things she could recall was the store. The popcorn. She pawed through to find her wallet there. The store... Mister Winchester's store. She just about dropped her toothbrush.

"Dad-I've'-got-to-go-BYE!" A new dress, soft blue and floral, had quickly been thrown on, little white sandals slipped onto her feet as she ran down the stairs, out the front door, her father once again in the kitchen preparing a cup of coffee. Running in sandals was a hard thing, but she had to get to that store. Hopefully it was simply turned in. That no one had gone through it.

They may have peeked. To see who it belonged to. The verses in front. They could have been distraction enough to curb any further views...? She doubted that, but hoped. The store seemed so much further away than any other time in her life this morning. She finally pushed through the automatic doors, rushing to the front counter and breathlessly asking if anyone had turned in a black journal. The young man stared at her blankly, then shrugged. "If there was, it probably made it to the manager's office. He's not in yet. You want to wait?"

Manager... Oh, no. Oh, no no no..

"I'll... I'll wait. Thanks." Her stomach was an even tighter knot now. He hadn't looked, had he?

 

[BehaviorMod]

Jason hadn't slept very much by the time his alarm was waking him from the bit of sleep he did manage to catch. When had he fallen asleep? He didn't remember. He looked down at the bed and found the black book; Mary's book. Must have slipped out of his hands when he dozed off; for the last thing Jason remembered was reading through it all over again.

How many times had the thought to go over and present the book to her father, Mister Morrigan, crossed his mind? Or what he might say to the father; what he might say to Mary if he saw her alone. Dispite the burried desire to do the right thing; Jason Winchester was holding the key to his most erotic desires, and he was going to capitolize on this chance.

He stood up and stretched, showered and brushed his teeth; dressed in a dark dress shirt and slacks and then headed back to the store, book in the passenger seat. His duties today were minimal and he didn't forsee being there for more than 4 hours or so. He pulled it and placed the black book in his bag that held his briefcase and such. He was on the way to his office, saying good morning to the staff when Mary Winchester practically jumped out at him.

"Oh, good morning Mary. I hope you're well today, you look...tired." Jason smiled down at the girl who was a bit shorter than he. He noticed how fidgety she was, how nervous she was. When she mentioned the book, he smiled and nodded his head. "Yes, I have it, follow me?" He pulled out his keys and opened the office door and motioned for her to enter first. "Take a seat over there." he pointed to a chair opposite his desk as he sat down and placed his bag on the floor.

He slipped out his briefcase and sat it on the desk and then opened a drawer. Mary couldn't see the drawer was empty and that he was actualy pulling the book from his bag, setting it down in front of him and resting his hands upon it. "This is the book you're looking for, little Mary?"

He saw her reaction, it was subtle, but there. He opened the book and flipped the first two pages. "You know, even though I havn't attended in a long time, it's good to see girls like you so involved." He flipped a few more pages, four of ten that hid what was really inside. "You really know your versus, you always were a smart girl, talented, well behaved." He got to the ninth page and stopped, closign the book.

He slid the book over to her and smiled, his hand still gripping it firmly. "I would love to give this book back to you, little Mary; so you can continue writing such wonderful things." He saw the relief in her eyes as she reached forward for the book but he slid it back out of her grasp. "We both know there's more than just bible versus in here, however." Jason smirked a bit as he looked the girl in the eyes. He opened the book and flipped a couple of pages till he came to a particular passage.

'I think about Mister Winchester; when I see him mowing his lawn shirtless, or doing housework. I think about how his hands would feel on my body, how his lips would feel on me, how his cock would feel in my young hands. I've cum to the thought of him being the one touching me.....showing me what I don't yet know...' He stopped then and closed the book. "Need I continue? I think, before I agree to give this back to you, you should explain. What's the daughter of John Morrigan; 'Little Mary Morrigan' , doing with a book like this?"

 

[Faux_Pas]

"Mister Winchester!" Mary's voice was a bit more energetic than she had intended, spotting the store manager as he entered the store. Worried, anxious, scared. Of course he would be the one to find it. The one person that finding it could have been even worse than her FATHER finding.

He noted her tired expression, a quick hesitant nod given in response. "Long night, sir. I had a number of bad dreams. I was- My notebook. I lost it. One of the guys up front said that you might have it?" She was shifting now, one foot to the other, trying to avoid looking at him for too long without the lack of contact seeming too noticeable- she hoped.

He agreed to having it, leading her back to his office, Mary all the more eager to just have the thing and be on her way. The sooner she could get it away from him, from the possibility of him seeing what she had written...

Out of his desk. Set in front of him. Her stomach knotted then, a nervous glance given to him as he asked if that was it. "Yes, thank you, sir." She started to reach for it, pausing as he flipped it open. A momentary fright ran through her, pulling back a bit and listening as he read. Verses. Yes. She smiled weakly as he praised her for knowing them so well. "I can remember a lot of things, sir." She started to reach for it as he slipped it over again, panicking once more as he yanked it back and mentioned the "other" things in there.

"O-other?"
She felt all the moisture of her mouth vanish with that, staring at him as he flipped it open. Her sketches, her writings. All those horrible thoughts she tried to banish from her mind, by putting them to paper... No...

She felt the color drain from her face as he began to read, verbatim form her thoughts taken to paper. "Y-You don't understand," She choked out weakly as he closed the book, the look given to her nearly stopping her heart. "Mister Winchester, you don't- You don't understand... It's- I-"

Oh, God, no.
She couldn't even find words to explain it. She was shaking now, her fingers grasping tightly to the chair she sat in. "I know what that looks like, sir. It's not what you think, it's really not- I just- those thoughts, I can't have thoughts like that, those are terrible things. Horrible things. I can't do that. I can't think like that. Those are sins, I know they are. Terrible, horrible sins. But they won't get out of my head." She closed her eyes tightly, a weak whimper leaving her. "I can't. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, All those things I have thought about you... I had to get them out, write them out, get them out of my head. I never meant to- I never..." She trailed off, looking up at him with wide, tearful eyes. "Please, God, please- don't tell my father, please!"