Little bit backwards...

[RollingRaff]

Hi all, I'm a long time lurker and I've just decided to join, so here's a question I hope someone can help me with.

When my girlfriend and I have sex, we have to go at it for over an hour before I even feel close to an orgasm. This makes both me and her (though after an hour, mainly me) feel really crap because she thinks that she's not pretty enough to give me a proper finish.

Is this normal? Or am I just a strange young man? Any tips or hints on how I could finish earlier (bet no one's ever heard a guy asking that before...)?

Thanks in advance!

 

[SweetErika]

Actually, we get this question quite often.

My question for you is, are you masturbating in addition to having sex? If so, how often? Do you use a grip or technique that provides more stimulation than a vagina, or do you always use porn to masturbate?

Also, do you have trouble getting off when receiving oral, handjobs, etc., or is it just sex? Are you using condoms for sex? How confident are you in the method(s) of birth control you're using?

 

[RollingRaff]

Yeah, I do. We live about an hour apart so we don't have a chance to do anything that often.
I masturbate roughly once a day (or more depending on my mood). I use roughly the same grip and stimulation coupled with a lubricant and I use just my imagination mostly. Anything else and I sorta get weird and feel like I'm cheating.

We've never gone in to oral or anything. I was a virgin until a month back, and even then I didn't finish.
We always use condoms, and I'm confident in them because we keep them in a drawer in my caravan (aka my room haha) and not scrunched in pockets/purses/wallets or anything.

 

[In Anticipation]

Yeah, I do. We live about an hour apart so we don't have a chance to do anything that often.
I masturbate roughly once a day (or more depending on my mood). I use roughly the same grip and stimulation coupled with a lubricant and I use just my imagination mostly. Anything else and I sorta get weird and feel like I'm cheating.

We've never gone in to oral or anything. I was a virgin until a month back, and even then I didn't finish.
We always use condoms, and I'm confident in them because we keep them in a drawer in my caravan (aka my room haha) and not scrunched in pockets/purses/wallets or anything.

Masturbate less roughly . . .

Apparently you can get into bad ways with masturbation. It never affected me though.

Have you tried not masturbating for a week or two before having sex? Might be worth a try if nothing else.

Can you come from her giving you a hand job? You might need to help her out, women tend not to have such well developed wrist muscles than guys, for some strange reason.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Condoms can reduce sensation a little and cause men to have trouble climaxing. I'm not suggesting you ditch them but there are other ways you could finish; your hand, her hand, maybe persuade her to suck you.

I'm sure you can reassure her how hot you think she is while you're cumming all over her tits.

Also, try not to get into the habit of making it a big deal in your head. Just like men who have erection problems, the more you fret over it, the more likely it is to recur.

Kudos to you for being sensible enough to use condoms from the word go and to post here and seek advice. For a newbie, you sure have your head screwed on.

 

[SweetErika]

Yeah, I do. We live about an hour apart so we don't have a chance to do anything that often.
I masturbate roughly once a day (or more depending on my mood). I use roughly the same grip and stimulation coupled with a lubricant and I use just my imagination mostly. Anything else and I sorta get weird and feel like I'm cheating.

We've never gone in to oral or anything. I was a virgin until a month back, and even then I didn't finish.
We always use condoms, and I'm confident in them because we keep them in a drawer in my caravan (aka my room haha) and not scrunched in pockets/purses/wallets or anything.

Like IA said, try cutting down on the masturbation before you see her. You might also try using a condom when you masturbate so you can get used to the sensation of coming with it on and hopefully get your confidence up.

It's probably largely a mental thing: you had a problem once, and now you're worried about it happening each time you have sex. If you find yourself worrying about it, consciously think about something else and tell yourself you won't have a problem.

Realize that foreplay can have a lot to do with coming during sex, too. Get as hot as possible before you even think about entering her, and ask her to help you with that. Getting aroused to almost coming then backing off several times before sex will probably help you come during sex.

Give these things a couple of shots and see what happens. I'm sure you'll be fine.

 

[RollingRaff]

Thank you everyone, she gets back from a work trip to tasmania tomorrow, and I'll let her know all these things
She leaves for another week on sunday, so I suppose we'll give it a shot after then
Again, thanks.