Litiquette3

[SweetCupcake]

So when the sexy comes at a time that just not convenient for you are you able to hang on until later? Are you able to bring that mood back with some alone time and reflection? Or when it's gone, is it just gone?

It is the impossible for me NOT to keep hanging on until I get -- uh, appropriate resolution. Life is too short to just let it go and forget it. Besides, hanging on is a great feeling. I love being sexually wound tightly -- so to speak.

 

[SmileyGirl]

I can be persuaded to be in the mood rather easily. It doesn't take much. So, if it's gone, it's usually she go some kind of massive event like I lose a limb or I found out my wife was listening to Nickelback.

Sometimes the anticipation is quite nice.

http://memeshappen.com/media/created/and-thats-when-she-said-nickelback-isn39t-that-bad-meme-1739.jpg

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

Capturing the mood, it's almost the holy grail of sex. Because life is life, sometimes the mood strikes when practicality dictates that it shouldn't. I think that happens more online than in real life as no one is likely to get all sexed up standing in freezing weather at a soccer game but just maybe the exchange of messages online has gotten you so hot & bothered you don't even need a jacket for the game. So when the sexy comes at a time that just not convenient for you are you able to hang on until later? Are you able to bring that mood back with some alone time and reflection? Or when it's gone, is it just gone?

Me and my ladyfriend pretty much are able to pick it up later if need be. Last night I went over, we had dinner, I helped her and her roommate with Christmas decorations (I'm good for the D AND handiwork. What's up ladies?) Not much going on sexually at first. Then later her roommate and her bf went to bed and we just chilled by ourselves watching TV. We got cuddly and gropey until she said "My pussy is fucking dripping wet. I have to fuck you NOW." And then that happened.

So to actually answer your question lol...I think if the chemistry is there you can kind of turn it on and off.

 

[Endless_Night]

<snip> So when the sexy comes at a time that just not convenient for you are you able to hang on until later? Are you able to bring that mood back with some alone time and reflection? Or when it's gone, is it just gone?

Interesting question. This sort of harks back to that orgasm denial question. For me, it’s all about the mood. When the sexy come at an inaccessible moment it just ramps things up for when things do become accessible. The slow build of need, the lip-biting anticipation, the tingle that has you urgently pressing your thighs together....

Ahem! That stuffs important! If your partner doesn’t induce that spark that fires the imagination, the erotic fantasy, then what’s the point? If it’s just about getting off physically I can do that all by my little self. Quick and easy.

No doubt perception varies wildly. If the physical act of sex is primary end goal, there’s probably little benefit in fueling a lingering mood. If the erotic, mental interplay is what makes the sex great, well, that’s a different kettle of fish.

I’m in the latter camp. In case that wasn’t obvious.

 

[Jamicurechickie]

Capturing the mood, it's almost the holy grail of sex. Because life is life, sometimes the mood strikes when practicality dictates that it shouldn't. I think that happens more online than in real life as no one is likely to get all sexed up standing in freezing weather at a soccer game but just maybe the exchange of messages online has gotten you so hot & bothered you don't even need a jacket for the game. So when the sexy comes at a time that just not convenient for you are you able to hang on until later? Are you able to bring that mood back with some alone time and reflection? Or when it's gone, is it just gone?

It always seems to be when I am standing at work or when driving. Just doing my daily thing and then all of a sudden...BAM!, my mind wanders away just a bit, I visualize a hot vignette and my body floods with sensation....for maybe just 20 or 30 seconds. But long enough. I feel my face flush and my insides liquefy and quietly glance around to see if anyone notices that I am just staring into space. Or, look down at the speedometer and notice that I am doing well above the speed limit (trying to get pulled over by a policeman in uniform maybe???).

Happens several times per day....at the end of the day, these little moments are to be brought out and savoured....how good later is all depends on how many of these little moments happen during a day...

 

[sweetsophie512]

Interesting question. This sort of harks back to that orgasm denial question. For me, it’s all about the mood. When the sexy come at an inaccessible moment it just ramps things up for when things do become accessible. The slow build of need, the lip-biting anticipation, the tingle that has you urgently pressing your thighs together....

Ahem! That stuffs important! If your partner doesn’t induce that spark that fires the imagination, the erotic fantasy, then what’s the point? If it’s just about getting off physically I can do that all by my little self. Quick and easy.

No doubt perception varies wildly. If the physical act of sex is primary end goal, there’s probably little benefit in fueling a lingering mood. If the erotic, mental interplay is what makes the sex great, well, that’s a different kettle of fish.

I’m in the latter camp. In case that wasn’t obvious.

Yes. What she said.

Just to add, I'm not into denial altogether. At some point, I will need my orgasm and then some.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I think relationships are best when these moments aren't considered shattered opportunities as much as they're seen as times of simmering anticipation

 

[Endless_Night]

Yes. What she said.

Just to add, I'm not into denial altogether. At some point, I will need my orgasm and then some.

Well, yeahuh!! But sometimes a little deferral can make it all that much better when it comes. Cums? Comes?

Whatever.

 

[ChainedUp]

Hey a unicorn just walked by, I'll answer my own question in honor of the event.

I think you can't re-create a moment, there can only be another moment. There's no shame in having the moment pass, the shame would be if there was never another moment.

 

[Endless_Night]

Hey a unicorn just walked by, I'll answer my own question in honor of the event.

I think you can't re-create a moment, there can only be another moment. There's no shame in having the moment pass, the shame would be if there was never another moment.

*ponders*

Must each moment be compartmentalized? Rather than an individual moment encompassing it’s own plateau, can’t they flow together to nudge the momentum of passion that much higher?

*scampers off after unicorn*

 

[ChainedUp]

The moment isn't defined by an absolute time convention. A moment could last a few seconds or a few hours, for instance a football game is a singular event comprised of three hours worth of "moments". For each of us, and for each unique moment, there are logical beginnings and ends. Just like it would be impossible to completely recreate a football game, a sensual moment is here, and then gone.....however long it may last

*ponders*

Must each moment be compartmentalized? Rather than an individual moment encompassing it’s own plateau, can’t they flow together to nudge the momentum of passion that much higher?

*scampers off after unicorn*

 

[Endless_Night]

The moment isn't defined by an absolute time convention. A moment could last a few seconds or a few hours, for instance a football game is a singular event comprised of three hours worth of "moments". For each of us, and for each unique moment, there are logical beginnings and ends. Just like it would be impossible to completely recreate a football game, a sensual moment is here, and then gone.....however long it may last

Okey dokey.

As long as each moment, however defined, has at least the potential to encompass the entirety of a romantic or sensual passion, I'm good.

Well, as long as there's time to include a couple of orgasms.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I live in Cleveland. We've spent the last week recreating a football moment.

 

[ChainedUp]

Kink vs Fetish. I was once told, and I have always agreed with, the difference between kink and fetish is that a kink is something that you enjoy that helps you get off where a fetish something that without it, you won't get off. Under that definition I think we all have kinks but very few have fetishes.

I'd like to better understand fetishes, as I don't have any, and the concept fascinates me. But I know better than to straight up because this thread would derail to a level not yet seen.

So I'll ask about kinks and whether or not they change. After while, do you change the kink, trying to make it naughtier? Are you happy to keep it as is because don't fix what isn't broken? Or do you just have sex, enjoy the moment and not get too worked up over kinks and fetishes?

 

[Lord Pmann]

I have a couple of kinks. They help get me off, but I can have normal sex. My orgasm is never dependent on it. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it's just fodder for the spank bank rather than something that plays out.

 

[sweetsophie512]

I always had the impression it was the other way around. I've been confused all this time?!?!

*For me*, fetishes are things that you indulge in, adding that spice and excitement. A kink is something that you enjoy and helps you get off. For me, the kinks don't change, although I do discover new ones as I experience them. Fetishes can migrate to being kinks as it turns out.

Regular sex is always good. I don't need the fetishes to cum, but some of my kinks I absolutely do.

(Given my own definition of kink v fetish)

 

[may_I_please]

Kink vs Fetish. I was once told, and I have always agreed with, the difference between kink and fetish is that a kink is something that you enjoy that helps you get off where a fetish something that without it, you won't get off. Under that definition I think we all have kinks but very few have fetishes.

I'd like to better understand fetishes, as I don't have any, and the concept fascinates me. But I know better than to straight up because this thread would derail to a level not yet seen.

So I'll ask about kinks and whether or not they change. After while, do you change the kink, trying to make it naughtier? Are you happy to keep it as is because don't fix what isn't broken? Or do you just have sex, enjoy the moment and not get too worked up over kinks and fetishes?

Kinks evolve

 

[Secret_Needs]

********

 

[Paul_Chance]

Yes, over time the kinks change - what they are changes and the intensity of them changes. That's part of what makes them so much fun.

 

[RacyRedLips]

Kink vs Fetish. I was once told, and I have always agreed with, the difference between kink and fetish is that a kink is something that you enjoy that helps you get off where a fetish something that without it, you won't get off. Under that definition I think we all have kinks but very few have fetishes.

I'd like to better understand fetishes, as I don't have any, and the concept fascinates me. But I know better than to straight up because this thread would derail to a level not yet seen.

So I'll ask about kinks and whether or not they change. After while, do you change the kink, trying to make it naughtier? Are you happy to keep it as is because don't fix what isn't broken? Or do you just have sex, enjoy the moment and not get too worked up over kinks and fetishes?

You are correct. A fetish is a fixation or obsession (with certain clothing and accessories, objects, body parts), one that is deep seated and needed for sexual gratification to occur.

I identify as a female fetishist. I have a ridiculously strong penchant and adoration for certain things....they are my 'boudoir tools' and I need them to get off. Extra emphasis on the word -- need. Sex, whether physical - aural - masturbatory, is not the same without. I'm not going to bore you with detail, but I'm talking in a huge way. Huge.

As MayIPlease stated, kinks evolve. Once upon a time, they were my kinks. Now, they are a lot more and there is kind of really no turning back. I know it sounds a bit odd....but the fun I've had....has really been second to none. So, no complaints here. I'm just thankful my fetishes can be easily incorporated into the sexual routine of my choice.

Anyways, there's my couple cents. This subject is one of my pet peeves, the word fetish is thrown around so frequently and generously, it's become a generic term....of course, I had to post....but I also love thought provoking threads, which this one certainly is.

 

[ChainedUp]

No one ever wants to be late to the party, and no one ever wants to be the first one either. It seems like we spend a lot of effort looking for that fashionably late sweet spot. But why? As you look back can you even remember who was the first person to arrive at a party? Did it impact how the party went?

The barriers we set for ourselves tend to not be real barriers but the product of our mind, our culture, our sense of societal norms. So when it comes to sex, that limit you have, that thing you don't like, is it real or is a limit that's been you've assumed to be true without really knowing?

 

[Trekka]

No one ever wants to be late to the party, and no one ever wants to be the first one either. It seems like we spend a lot of effort looking for that fashionably late sweet spot. But why? As you look back can you even remember who was the first person to arrive at a party? Did it impact how the party went?

The barriers we set for ourselves tend to not be real barriers but the product of our mind, our culture, our sense of societal norms. So when it comes to sex, that limit you have, that thing you don't like, is it real or is a limit that's been you've assumed to be true without really knowing?

*is first to answer the question?

sexual limits, for me, are all in my head-- i guess i don't *really* know if i can handle something until i've tried it. like, who knew getting peed on could be enjoyable? (and kinda funny)

but then there's those things that (*stomps foot) i don't wanna try! e.g. enemas are an ongoing debate in my house.

*shudder* ...too medical. medical devices and doctor-y things freak me out.

i guess it's like when people say they hate tofu, or sushi, yet they've never even tried it. except, i've eaten both of those things. tofu is great, sushi i can take or leave. but do i want to try grilled tarantula legs? or a thousand-year egg? ...yikes!

who knows, though. maybe grilled tarantula is delectable...

 

[Lord Pmann]

I think the limits I set for myself are pretty appropriate. I don't need to experience a fist in my ass to know I don't like it. It's similar to eating Balut. I don't need to actually taste it to know I don't like it. My hard limits are there for a reason. Soft limits are up for exploration, if the mood is set properly. But I assure you no amount of candles or Kenny G is getting your fist in my ass.

ETA: the "your" in the last sentence was general and not directed at Papa chain's fist.

 

[Misshotndeep]

I think the limits I set for myself are pretty appropriate. I don't need to experience a fist in my ass to know I don't like it. It's similar to eating Balut. I don't need to actually taste it to know I don't like it. My hard limits are there for a reason. Soft limits are up for exploration, if the mood is set properly. But I assure you no amount of candles or Kenny G is getting your fist in my ass.

ROFL!!!!

 

[Endless_Night]

< The barriers we set for ourselves tend to not be real barriers but the product of our mind, our culture, our sense of societal norms. So when it comes to sex, that limit you have, that thing you don't like, is it real or is a limit that's been you've assumed to be true without really knowing? >

^^^Good answers. After reading each I totally said in my head, “Oh, yeah. I agree with that!”

I guess what it comes down to is that I find both to be true. My sexual limits and hangups are all in my head, and since starting my kink exploration I’ve realized that most things are *gulp* probably soft limits when it comes to the pursuit of my…ummm…primary sexual interest.

But, as the stickman says, some things are just a hard limit. For instance, when I first realized I was kinky instead of sexually disturbed I did a lot of reading. One of the books featured a segment from a gentleman that enjoyed blood play. He tied his wife to a jungle gym setup and proceeded to puncture her jugular and then lapped at the blood.



Fuck. No.

In this lifetime and the next. :|

*No judgment on all you blood letters out there.